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Best Posts in Forum: The Lounge | Gatorchatter

Best Posts in Forum: The Lounge

  1. Gator98MD

    Gator98MD Senior Member

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    My son, born today. 8lbs 3oz. 20 1/2 inches
    Mother and child doing well. I know, cool story bro. But I'd thought I'd share. My wife went to UNC so it will be a battle for his allegiance

    [​IMG]
     
  2. playzwtrux

    playzwtrux Wait, what?
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    over the weekend and thought I would let you guys in on the "secret"

    it's been almost 4 years since my kids mom & I split and I found a real jewel for a replacement.

    FB_IMG_1473251190289.jpg

    together we have 5, yes five kids, and everyone of them are a blessing on their own.

    FB_IMG_1473251096056.jpg

    we were joined together on Friday evening and headed straight to FL for the honeymoon. Spent most of Saturday in Gainesville, after surviving the Lake City Wal-Mart, starting with lunch @ Hogan's on 13th,

    FB_IMG_1473251852449.jpg

    Phan's tailgate (meeting Phan, BNA, & their Mrs., but missing Brad by a few minutes). Then on to a 2nd tailgate where we were given tickets to the game, and lastly a 3rd with my brother & his girls.
    Headed down University to show her around, grabbed a quick snack @ Pita Pit before marching to The Swamp.

    FB_IMG_1473252168341.jpg

    Watched most of the game wet :(, then to St. Augustine for a few days of sun & fun.

    FB_IMG_1473252187667.jpg

    well, that's all folks, & B4 one of you asks; no, you can't see any nekkid pics of her :)

    now we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.
     
  3. Durty South Swamp

    Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  4. Gatordiddy

    Gatordiddy in all kinds of weather
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    Given Ray's proximity to u of tinercee - the buttchuggin' cesspool of eternal fire (I'm pretty sure that's the one referenced in the Book of Revelation 20:14 - look it up) ...
    I'm betting this Ark is a double-wide with a redwood deck and a half falling down mildewed above ground half filled with mosquito water pool.
    Therefore... you can fit more than five people from GC on that thang.
    In no particular order:

    SQ/Cap'n - (we'll need breeders)
    Bart - for the recreational herbs and spices
    Phan - for the wine (you're welcome SQ)
    Durty - personal trainer
    Brad - relay chick stories of his youth and the woodford
    t - comic relief
    Cooter - to remind me of classic country song lyrics
    Ray - guitar entertainment
    Urg - to ban t to the pool
    Law - to establish order in 'the new world' and to rank new recruits
    Dubs - law enforcement and...we're nothing if not diverse and inclusive
    812 - just because he's honer-able
    Goon - for the good jokes
    aka - musical kindred spirit
    tag - boat driver
    chevy - dog whisperer
    nav - alpaca wrangler
    crete - anchor
    78- (.)(.)
    incasewegetdesperateandhavetoeatsomeoneJay26
     
    #25 Gatordiddy, Apr 22, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2016
  5. GatorPhD

    GatorPhD Newbie

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    ​
    I know this is a message board and I know the atmosphere in here is pretty nasty and rude sometimes, but honestly you people should be ashamed of yourselves. This is not a joking or humorous matter. These are peoples lives that were at stake by some person making bad choices. It could happen at UF as easily as it happen at FSU last night. This is not a matter of us vs. them. This is a time when we should be coming together as a community and has nothing to do with Football or any other sport. These are our friends, neighbors and relatives that are going to school to better themselves. Many people on campus and off campus, students, parents, grandparents, had a long and scary night.

    Honestly, this attitude is enough to turn me off coming here anymore. I have family that went to FSU (and before you make any additional stupid comments they went there because the music education program is hands-down the best in the state) and any one of them could have been there in the library on a school night and been caught in a situation like this. I'm not a prolific poster, but I came here when I found it because I missed the old GSMB style of good posters, humor and just enough hatred of FSU, UGA and others. I lurk everyday and read most every thread. However, these comments and ones like them are completely uncalled for at this time. Maybe you should think before you type stupid comments next time.
     
  6. Gatordiddy

    Gatordiddy in all kinds of weather
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    Female spider bite?
     
  7. heavychevy

    heavychevy water bottle holder

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    I just got laid off, thanks for reminding me ****hole. go **** yourself with your fancy ****in job.
     
  8. Durty South Swamp

    Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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    How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

    These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!
    _______________________________
    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS: July 18th.
    ATTORNEY: What year?
    WITNESS: Every year.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS: Forty-five years.
    _________________________________
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget..
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Getting laid
    ____________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death..
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.
    ___________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral...
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No..
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
     
  9. GatorInKnox

    GatorInKnox The Sicilian

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    For those who don't know/remember:

    In his unfounded hatred for Jason Dufner, Ox proclaimed in 2013 that JD would never finish in the top 10 in a major ever again (absurd, I know). He was so confident that he went as far as to say that he would post a picture of himself Dufnering on his infamous Miata if he ever did again. Well it took longer than even Jesus expected but the Duf finally came through. T8 in the US open.

    Come on, Ox. We want our picture.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. MJMGator

    MJMGator Slightly amused
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    Why don't we guess what others do for a living?
    Cooter-turtle farmer by day and short order cook at the Huddle House by night
    t-restroom attendant at a low end strip club
    Law-night security at a Columbus, Ohio tattoo parlor/head shop
    Sas-bouncer at an alternative lifestyle strip club
    Av- shoe shine boy at LAX
    Rex-morale officer at a cat boiling plant
    Brad-tast-tester at a glow-in-the-dark condom factory
    Ray-gynecologist at an old-folks home
    Ox-fender puller at a Port St. Lucie Fact-O-Bake
     
  11. Lake Gator

    Lake Gator Member of The Bloods...a pack of Hounds
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    She'll need a photo ID.
     
  12. The Original DC

    The Original DC Postradamus
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    I've been away from the board for most of the last few months, just one of those deals where you hit a really busy time in life. But I wanted to check in and brag a little about a few things that have happened since I've been "gone." First, my twin nephews, Douglas and Dallas Connell, signed full scholarships with Florida International, were early enrollees and are currently preparing for Spring football with the Panthers. Secondly, my son applied to and was accepted to Florida and will be attending UF in the fall. I'm a proud Dad and Uncle, that's for sure. Talk soon everyone, Go Gators!!
     
  13. divits

    divits A Muffin of the Studly Variety

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. URGatorBait

    URGatorBait Well-Known Member
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    FB_IMG_1461282015153.jpg
     
  15. Ray Finkle

    Ray Finkle The People's Mod
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    [​IMG]
     
  16. GatorInKnox

    GatorInKnox The Sicilian

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    According to my logic that's one more time than never again. :dance: You can use your current ride for our picture. We'll also accept a picture of you holding a sign that says "I Love Jason Dufner".
     
  17. ufgator812

    ufgator812 Duke of Marlborough
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    This is a picture I found of Alaska, 9 months out of the year. Have fun:





























    .
     
  18. Jabberdave

    Jabberdave Your mom is very pretty.

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. Durty South Swamp

    Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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    Update - boy is doing fine, his momma and I are tired but wouldn't change it for the world. Here are a couple of my favorite photos so far...[​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  20. Swamp Queen

    Swamp Queen Mrs. Sasquatch
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    So none of you are taking a female. Got it.

    NTTAWWT
     
  21. WobbleGator

    WobbleGator Chatterbox Mod

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    The cops shoot you?
     
  22. Durty South Swamp

    Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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    [​IMG]
     
  23. bradgator2

    bradgator2 I like Amish Donuts
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    Nobody cares about your state. Except how to pronounce las-veg-as
     
  24. Phineus Maximus

    Phineus Maximus Thread Killer
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    Glock 23C with Cerakote Safety Orange, NRA Blue, and Zombie Green

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  25. heavychevy

    heavychevy water bottle holder

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    Campin wit the mouse this week. Of course I cooked a hunk of meat in honor of murrica's birfday.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    12-14 hours in.



    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    God bless murrica!
     
    #392 heavychevy, Jul 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2016
  26. grengadgy

    grengadgy Flat-Earther
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    [​IMG]
     
  27. Gatorhunter

    Gatorhunter Senior Member

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    Quick question to get us back on topic...
    If a man cutting off his penis makes him a woman, and he takes said penis and has it sown to his forehead, does that make him an elephant?
     
  28. LagoonGator68

    LagoonGator68 Busted Flush
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    I have a modest chain of Ace Hardware stores that we run part-time hoars out of; we call them our Black & Decker pecker-wreckers.
     
  29. oxrageous

    oxrageous American Hero
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    This kind of thing is considered "coming out"? Going from a man to a 65 year old grandmother on the cover of Vanity Fair? It's a shame this kind of garbage has to be shoved in all our faces as "normal" now. Just accept every form of human behavior or you're a bigot!

    If Bruce Jenner wants to mutilate his genitalia then go for it, but keep the rest of us out of it and don't demand I have to accept it as anything but disgusting. Stay off the cover of Vanity Fair, Bruce.

    Awful.
     
  30. Swamp Queen

    Swamp Queen Mrs. Sasquatch
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    This is my hobby.
    ImageUploadedByTapatalk1455846894.259916.jpg
     
  31. heavychevy

    heavychevy water bottle holder

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    Didn't want to start a joke thread so I'll put this here.

    Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar.

    A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Trump and Cruz sitting over there?' The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'

    So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?'

    Cruz says, 'We're planning WW III.' The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'

    Trump says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.'

    The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?'

    Trump turns to Cruz and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a crap about the 140 million Muslims.’


    Sent from my AR-15 at 3000 feet per second.
     
  32. AlexDaGator

    AlexDaGator Resolute, Relentless, Ruthless
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    I make movies. Well, videos actually. You may know me by my stage name, Lex Longwood.

    I've appeared in hits such as On Golden Blonde, Shaving Ryan's Privates, and Schindler's Fist.

    Alex.
     
  33. crosscreekcooter

    crosscreekcooter Cunning Linguist

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    Always the showman, Prince absolutely blisters it in this one

    RIP
     
  34. bradgator2

    bradgator2 I like Amish Donuts
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    I've got skills. I'm building my own damn ark and bringing 3 b!tches. And a midget. And a barrel of Jack Daniels.
     
  35. heavychevy

    heavychevy water bottle holder

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    How in the **** are you going to start a ****ing thread about a topic you want to know about other ****ing people - BUT NOT GIVE THAT INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF??? Jesus ****ing Christ you're an absolute ****ing waste.
     
  36. Swamp Donkey

    Swamp Donkey Thanks Fooley, for one last fvkk up!
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    Top Poster Of Month

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    My five wishes are:

    Left Tackle
    Left Guard
    Center
    Right Guard
    Right Tackle.
     
  37. MJMGator

    MJMGator Slightly amused
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    My advice is to take up fishing. Even a bad day fishing is still spent on the water and much more relaxing than golf.
     
  38. crosscreekcooter

    crosscreekcooter Cunning Linguist

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    This story is very moving.
    Terminally ill child dies in Santa's arms
    http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/12/12/terminally-ill-child-dies-in-santas-arms.html
    [​IMG]

    A 60-year-old Tennessee man who spends time volunteering as Santa Claus at a local hospital granted a 5-year-old terminally ill boy his final wish this holiday season, and held him as he died in his arms.

    “I spent four years in the Army with the 75th Rangers, and I’ve seen my share of [stuff],” Eric Schmitt-Matzen told USA Today. “But I ran by the nurses’ station bawling my head off. I know nurses and doctors see things like that every day, but I don’t know how they can take it.”

    Schmitt-Matzen, a mechanical engineer and president of Packing Seals & Engineering in Jacksboro, Tennessee, had arrived at the unidentified hospital and met the boy’s mother and family members, who were also unidentified. A nurse had called with the special request and given him a toy to offer the child during his visit, USA Today reported.

    “When I walked in, he was laying there so weak, it looked like he was ready to fall asleep,” Schmitt-Matzen told the news outlet. “I sat down on his bed and asked, ‘Say, what’s this I hear about you’re going to miss Christmas? There’s no way you can miss Christmas! You’re my No. 1 elf!’”

    “He looked up and said, ‘I am?’ I said ‘Sure.’”

    Schmitt-Matzen told USA Today that he watched him open the present and smile before he lay back down.

    “’They say I’m going to die,’ he told me. ‘How can I tell when I get to where I’m going?’ I said, ‘Can you do me a big favor?’ He said ‘Sure!’ 'When you get there, you tell them you’re Santa’s No. 1 elf and I know they’ll let you in.’ He said, ‘They will?’ I said, ‘Sure.’”

    “He kind of sat up, and gave me a big hug and asked one more question: ‘Santa can you help me?’ I wrapped my arms around him. Before I could say anything, he died right there. I let him stay, just kept hugging and holding on to him,” Schmitt-Matzen told USA Today.

    The boy’s death left Schmitt-Matzen questioning whether he could continue donning the signature white beard and red suit, but he returned for other sick children and saw the effect it had on them.

    “When I saw all those children laughing, it brought me back into the fold. It made me realize the role I have to play. For them and for me,” he told USA Today.

     
  39. NVGator

    NVGator Member
    Sportsbook Moderator Lifetime Member

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  40. Captain Sasquatch

    Captain Sasquatch Mr. SQ, the Sashole

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    [​IMG]
     

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