Best Posts in Forum: The Lounge

  1. Gator98MD

    Gator98MD Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2014
    Messages:
    1,276
    Ratings:
    +1,049 / -24
    My son, born today. 8lbs 3oz. 20 1/2 inches
    Mother and child doing well. I know, cool story bro. But I'd thought I'd share. My wife went to UNC so it will be a battle for his allegiance

    [​IMG]
     
    • Gatordiddy

      Gatordiddy Fondling Member
      Lifetime Member

      Joined:
      Jul 23, 2014
      Messages:
      3,214
      Ratings:
      +3,284 / -6
      got in at 5:00 am on a redeye and was walking down the ramp at Dulles airport in Northern Virginia to catch the rental car bus.
      had to do a double take... woke me up.


      [​IMG]
       
      • playzwtrux

        playzwtrux Wait,... what?

        Joined:
        Jun 11, 2014
        Messages:
        1,649
        Ratings:
        +1,288 / -23
        over the weekend and thought I would let you guys in on the "secret"

        it's been almost 4 years since my kids mom & I split and I found a real jewel for a replacement.

        FB_IMG_1473251190289.jpg

        together we have 5, yes five kids, and everyone of them are a blessing on their own.

        FB_IMG_1473251096056.jpg

        we were joined together on Friday evening and headed straight to FL for the honeymoon. Spent most of Saturday in Gainesville, after surviving the Lake City Wal-Mart, starting with lunch @ Hogan's on 13th,

        FB_IMG_1473251852449.jpg

        Phan's tailgate (meeting Phan, BNA, & their Mrs., but missing Brad by a few minutes). Then on to a 2nd tailgate where we were given tickets to the game, and lastly a 3rd with my brother & his girls.
        Headed down University to show her around, grabbed a quick snack @ Pita Pit before marching to The Swamp.

        FB_IMG_1473252168341.jpg

        Watched most of the game wet :(, then to St. Augustine for a few days of sun & fun.

        FB_IMG_1473252187667.jpg

        well, that's all folks, & B4 one of you asks; no, you can't see any nekkid pics of her :)

        now we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.
         
        • AlexDaGator

          AlexDaGator The Hammer of Thor
          Lifetime Member

          Joined:
          Jun 19, 2014
          Messages:
          6,281
          Ratings:
          +8,360 / -10
          Pretty sure Boss' best pick up line is giving a chick a cloth and asking "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"




          Alex.
           
          • bradgator2

            bradgator2 1/29/17 half marathon - 1 hour, 34 min, 2 secs
            Lifetime Member

            Joined:
            Jun 12, 2014
            Messages:
            5,035
            Ratings:
            +7,544 / -44
            We've been married 12 years. I updated the photo and stuck it on the fridge. :lol:

            [​IMG]
             
            • divits

              divits A Muffin of the Studly Variety
              Lifetime Member

              Joined:
              Jun 13, 2014
              Messages:
              7,774
              Ratings:
              +9,638 / -27
              A guy could never do that. The cops would get there long before he had time to finish reading the sports section.
               
              • Durty South Swamp

                Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
                Lifetime Member

                Joined:
                Jun 19, 2014
                Messages:
                9,516
                Ratings:
                +10,131 / -74
                [​IMG]


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                 
                • Gatordiddy

                  Gatordiddy Fondling Member
                  Lifetime Member

                  Joined:
                  Jul 23, 2014
                  Messages:
                  3,214
                  Ratings:
                  +3,284 / -6
                  Given Ray's proximity to u of tinercee - the buttchuggin' cesspool of eternal fire (I'm pretty sure that's the one referenced in the Book of Revelation 20:14 - look it up) ...
                  I'm betting this Ark is a double-wide with a redwood deck and a half falling down mildewed above ground half filled with mosquito water pool.
                  Therefore... you can fit more than five people from GC on that thang.
                  In no particular order:

                  SQ/Cap'n - (we'll need breeders)
                  Bart - for the recreational herbs and spices
                  Phan - for the wine (you're welcome SQ)
                  Durty - personal trainer
                  Brad - relay chick stories of his youth and the woodford
                  t - comic relief
                  Cooter - to remind me of classic country song lyrics
                  Ray - guitar entertainment
                  Urg - to ban t to the pool
                  Law - to establish order in 'the new world' and to rank new recruits
                  Dubs - law enforcement and...we're nothing if not diverse and inclusive
                  812 - just because he's honer-able
                  Goon - for the good jokes
                  aka - musical kindred spirit
                  tag - boat driver
                  chevy - dog whisperer
                  nav - alpaca wrangler
                  crete - anchor
                  78- (.)(.)
                  incasewegetdesperateandhavetoeatsomeoneJay26
                   
                  #25 Gatordiddy, Apr 22, 2016
                  Last edited: Apr 22, 2016
                  • GR8 2B

                    GR8 2B A Florida Gator
                    Lifetime Member

                    Joined:
                    Jun 12, 2016
                    Messages:
                    1,649
                    Ratings:
                    +1,597 / -29
                    From the comments:

                    “Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

                    :lmao:
                     
                    • stephenPE

                      stephenPE Senior Member
                      Lifetime Member

                      Joined:
                      Jul 20, 2014
                      Messages:
                      12,411
                      Ratings:
                      +5,096 / -254
                      This is a long one. My son must have been born in another era and like the dogs from the new movie came back again, He listens to music from the 50s and 60s, Nothing surprises me. He is 12. He discovered Rupert Holmes recently. He likes stuff from Holmes I never heard of. We were at the Antique store at the Waldo FLea mkt recently and upstairs he found an old LP of Holmes for $2 and we bought it, Well, Kevin is an artist, too. He drew this and his mom found it in his backpack. [​IMG]
                      She liked it so much she found an address from Holmes and mailed it to him with a short story about it..............well low and behold she got this reply.........and no, it was not "IF you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain. if your not into Yoga..................
                      Here is his reply:
                      Dear Sandy,

                      Greetings from Rupert Holmes, here in New York.

                      I'm so very moved and honored that your remarkable son not only enjoys my music but drew such a superb picture of me. Setting aside myself for a moment, it's an incredible job by someone so young! I also thank him for how nice he makes me appear (I especially like having that much hair again ... it's been a while!)

                      You may not know it, but let me share with you that the younger of my two sons is severely autistic. He is 28, and a wonderful and brave fellow, but we have never had anything resembling a conversation. He is obviously at the opposite end of the spectrum from your marvelous son. I hope you and he have all the communication with each other that I would so love to have with my own boy. My son was born at a time when few knew what autism means, and since that time there have been great strides made. But please know that no singer-songwriter could have more empathy and admiration for your own situation, and I am so truly touched that you shared his wonderful artwork with me. It is definitely something I hope he will pursue.

                      If there is any way I could do something to show my thanks ... send him a message or speak to him on the phone (not trying to intrude on your private life) ... or simply send him some of my music autographed to him, please do not hesitate to let me know.

                      I thank you for giving me such a beautiful moment in my day and in my life. I'll treasure his portrait as long as I live.

                      May much joy and happiness be yours and his in the years to come,

                      Rupert

                      PS Please drop me a note to confirm that this reached you successfully. If he has a particular favorite song of mine, do let me know, please.


                      You never know how you touch somebody. Kevin is also autistic with Aspergers................
                       
                      • GatorPhD

                        GatorPhD Newbie

                        Joined:
                        Sep 5, 2014
                        Messages:
                        7
                        Ratings:
                        +19 / -0
                        ​
                        I know this is a message board and I know the atmosphere in here is pretty nasty and rude sometimes, but honestly you people should be ashamed of yourselves. This is not a joking or humorous matter. These are peoples lives that were at stake by some person making bad choices. It could happen at UF as easily as it happen at FSU last night. This is not a matter of us vs. them. This is a time when we should be coming together as a community and has nothing to do with Football or any other sport. These are our friends, neighbors and relatives that are going to school to better themselves. Many people on campus and off campus, students, parents, grandparents, had a long and scary night.

                        Honestly, this attitude is enough to turn me off coming here anymore. I have family that went to FSU (and before you make any additional stupid comments they went there because the music education program is hands-down the best in the state) and any one of them could have been there in the library on a school night and been caught in a situation like this. I'm not a prolific poster, but I came here when I found it because I missed the old GSMB style of good posters, humor and just enough hatred of FSU, UGA and others. I lurk everyday and read most every thread. However, these comments and ones like them are completely uncalled for at this time. Maybe you should think before you type stupid comments next time.
                         
                        • Gatordiddy

                          Gatordiddy Fondling Member
                          Lifetime Member

                          Joined:
                          Jul 23, 2014
                          Messages:
                          3,214
                          Ratings:
                          +3,284 / -6
                          Female spider bite?
                           
                          • heavychevy

                            heavychevy water bottle holder

                            Joined:
                            Sep 8, 2014
                            Messages:
                            799
                            Ratings:
                            +628 / -4
                            I just got laid off, thanks for reminding me ****hole. go **** yourself with your fancy ****in job.
                             
                            • Durty South Swamp

                              Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
                              Lifetime Member

                              Joined:
                              Jun 19, 2014
                              Messages:
                              9,516
                              Ratings:
                              +10,131 / -74
                              How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

                              These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

                              ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
                              WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
                              ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
                              WITNESS: My name is Susan!
                              _______________________________
                              ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
                              WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
                              ____________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
                              WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
                              ____________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
                              WITNESS: July 18th.
                              ATTORNEY: What year?
                              WITNESS: Every year.
                              _____________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
                              WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
                              ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
                              WITNESS: Forty-five years.
                              _________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
                              WITNESS: Yes.
                              ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
                              WITNESS: I forget..
                              ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
                              ___________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
                              WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
                              ____________________________________

                              ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
                              WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
                              ___________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
                              WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
                              _________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
                              WITNESS: Yes.
                              ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
                              WITNESS: Getting laid
                              ____________________________________________

                              ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
                              WITNESS: Yes.
                              ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
                              WITNESS: None.
                              ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
                              WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
                              ____________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
                              WITNESS: By death..
                              ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
                              WITNESS: Take a guess.
                              ___________________________________________

                              ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
                              WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
                              ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
                              WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
                              _____________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
                              WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
                              ______________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
                              WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
                              _________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
                              WITNESS: Oral...
                              _________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
                              WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
                              ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
                              WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
                              ____________________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
                              WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
                              ______________________________________
                              ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
                              WITNESS: No.
                              ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
                              WITNESS: No.
                              ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
                              WITNESS: No..
                              ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
                              WITNESS: No.
                              ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
                              WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
                              ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
                              WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
                               
                              • GatorInKnox

                                GatorInKnox The Sicilian

                                Joined:
                                Jun 11, 2014
                                Messages:
                                1,178
                                Ratings:
                                +1,448 / -9
                                For those who don't know/remember:

                                In his unfounded hatred for Jason Dufner, Ox proclaimed in 2013 that JD would never finish in the top 10 in a major ever again (absurd, I know). He was so confident that he went as far as to say that he would post a picture of himself Dufnering on his infamous Miata if he ever did again. Well it took longer than even Jesus expected but the Duf finally came through. T8 in the US open.

                                Come on, Ox. We want our picture.

                                [​IMG]
                                 
                                • MJMGator

                                  MJMGator Slightly amused
                                  Lifetime Member

                                  Joined:
                                  Jun 10, 2014
                                  Messages:
                                  11,163
                                  Ratings:
                                  +13,575 / -121
                                  Why don't we guess what others do for a living?
                                  Cooter-turtle farmer by day and short order cook at the Huddle House by night
                                  t-restroom attendant at a low end strip club
                                  Law-night security at a Columbus, Ohio tattoo parlor/head shop
                                  Sas-bouncer at an alternative lifestyle strip club
                                  Av- shoe shine boy at LAX
                                  Rex-morale officer at a cat boiling plant
                                  Brad-tast-tester at a glow-in-the-dark condom factory
                                  Ray-gynecologist at an old-folks home
                                  Ox-fender puller at a Port St. Lucie Fact-O-Bake
                                   
                                  • Concrete Helmet

                                    Concrete Helmet Hook, Line, and Sinker
                                    Lifetime Member

                                    Joined:
                                    Jul 29, 2014
                                    Messages:
                                    8,266
                                    Ratings:
                                    +5,231 / -134
                                    I have no ill feelings toward my ex wife of 11 years whatsoever. I haven't spoken a word to her since the day the ink dried on the dissolution. Still not sure why we got divorced but she came in the day after Christmas and said, " I don't want this house anymore, I don't want my business anymore, and I don't want to be married anymore".... I still remember it vividly because it was about 7.30 PM and I was sitting on the couch watching Titus and drinking a beer....:lol: We split everything right down the middle, we had done pretty well on some real estate. I let her sell off all our shared items and send me a check for half... and we split the savings down the middle. I kept the 2 dogs and she kept the cat.....

                                    I won't lie and say I wasn't a little angry for a month or so afterward but I was pretty busy at the time and after whoring myself around 4 or 5 nights a week found that female company wouldn't be all that difficult to come by when I needed it. Now after a couple of months of this I found a smokin little blond Peruvian chick with a set of aftermarket bozos that were obnoxiously large for her petite 5' frame and a set of tanned legs that would make most men drool....She became my new steady and although she still had her own place she would spend a lot of time at my new house cleaning, cooking and watching soap operas during the day while I was at work. One day I received a text from my ex and she said she was back in town for a couple days working and she really missed the dogs and wondered if she could see them....I thought about it for a couple of minutes then agreed and sent her my address and told her what time she could stop by......

                                    Now the good part :lol:. I really didn't want to chance reopening any emotional wounds that sometimes happen in these high tension situations when face to face with an ex lover so I devised a plan that I thought would work best for everyone as I was happy with my life even though it had only been about 4 or 5 months since being divorced......And of course I figured rubbing my new ride(woman) in her face would give me the last word and a nice kick in the ass for her making me a single man :lol:...So instead of me being there I had the new one there to let her in. I also had her wearing nothing but one of my button down pink and white pinstriped polo shirts and nothing else....This was a shirt that my ex had bought for me and always told me how good it looked on me.... :stirpot: Well when she showed up at the house my new woman was there to open the door and after about 5 to 10 seconds of standing there with a WTF look on her face she turned and stormed off back to her car and hauled ass.....I can't say I've ever been one to thrive on revenge because it usually backfires in your face but in this case it couldn't have worked out anymore perfectly.....Oh btw never heard anything from my ex since then...
                                     
                                    • MJMGator

                                      MJMGator Slightly amused
                                      Lifetime Member

                                      Joined:
                                      Jun 10, 2014
                                      Messages:
                                      11,163
                                      Ratings:
                                      +13,575 / -121
                                      Mods need to change the thread title to "The Holier Than Thou Thread by Douchenozzle".
                                       
                                      • Lake Gator

                                        Lake Gator Money talks, Coaches walk.

                                        Joined:
                                        Feb 13, 2016
                                        Messages:
                                        1,955
                                        Ratings:
                                        +1,904 / -20
                                        She'll need a photo ID.
                                         
                                        • Swamp Donkey

                                          Swamp Donkey poundmetoo!
                                          Lifetime Member

                                          Joined:
                                          Jun 9, 2014
                                          Messages:
                                          32,543
                                          Ratings:
                                          +33,569 / -1,015
                                          Honestly, I'm so glad these damn camera phones weren't everywhere when I was young.
                                           

                                          Chat

                                          Help

                                          You don't have the necessary permissions to use the chat.

                                          1. There are currently no users chatting.