My son, born today. 8lbs 3oz. 20 1/2 inches
Mother and child doing well. I know, cool story bro. But I'd thought I'd share. My wife went to UNC so it will be a battle for his allegiance
Best Posts in Forum: The Lounge
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- Thread: Great welcome sign
- Thread: I got married.......
over the weekend and thought I would let you guys in on the "secret"
it's been almost 4 years since my kids mom & I split and I found a real jewel for a replacement.
together we have 5, yes five kids, and everyone of them are a blessing on their own.
we were joined together on Friday evening and headed straight to FL for the honeymoon. Spent most of Saturday in Gainesville, after surviving the Lake City Wal-Mart, starting with lunch @ Hogan's on 13th,
Phan's tailgate (meeting Phan, BNA, & their Mrs., but missing Brad by a few minutes). Then on to a 2nd tailgate where we were given tickets to the game, and lastly a 3rd with my brother & his girls.
Headed down University to show her around, grabbed a quick snack @ Pita Pit before marching to The Swamp.
Watched most of the game wet , then to St. Augustine for a few days of sun & fun.
well, that's all folks, & B4 one of you asks; no, you can't see any nekkid pics of her
now we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.
Given Ray's proximity to u of tinercee - the buttchuggin' cesspool of eternal fire (I'm pretty sure that's the one referenced in the Book of Revelation 20:14 - look it up) ...
I'm betting this Ark is a double-wide with a redwood deck and a half falling down mildewed above ground half filled with mosquito water pool.
Therefore... you can fit more than five people from GC on that thang.
In no particular order:
SQ/Cap'n - (we'll need breeders)
Bart - for the recreational herbs and spices
Phan - for the wine (you're welcome SQ)
Durty - personal trainer
Brad - relay chick stories of his youth and the woodford
t - comic relief
Cooter - to remind me of classic country song lyrics
Ray - guitar entertainment
Urg - to ban t to the pool
Law - to establish order in 'the new world' and to rank new recruits
Dubs - law enforcement and...we're nothing if not diverse and inclusive
812 - just because he's honer-able
Goon - for the good jokes
aka - musical kindred spirit
tag - boat driver
chevy - dog whisperer
nav - alpaca wrangler
crete - anchor
- Thread: music man from the past
This is a long one. My son must have been born in another era and like the dogs from the new movie came back again, He listens to music from the 50s and 60s, Nothing surprises me. He is 12. He discovered Rupert Holmes recently. He likes stuff from Holmes I never heard of. We were at the Antique store at the Waldo FLea mkt recently and upstairs he found an old LP of Holmes for $2 and we bought it, Well, Kevin is an artist, too. He drew this and his mom found it in his backpack.
She liked it so much she found an address from Holmes and mailed it to him with a short story about it..............well low and behold she got this reply.........and no, it was not "IF you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain. if your not into Yoga..................
Here is his reply:
Greetings from Rupert Holmes, here in New York.
I'm so very moved and honored that your remarkable son not only enjoys my music but drew such a superb picture of me. Setting aside myself for a moment, it's an incredible job by someone so young! I also thank him for how nice he makes me appear (I especially like having that much hair again ... it's been a while!)
You may not know it, but let me share with you that the younger of my two sons is severely autistic. He is 28, and a wonderful and brave fellow, but we have never had anything resembling a conversation. He is obviously at the opposite end of the spectrum from your marvelous son. I hope you and he have all the communication with each other that I would so love to have with my own boy. My son was born at a time when few knew what autism means, and since that time there have been great strides made. But please know that no singer-songwriter could have more empathy and admiration for your own situation, and I am so truly touched that you shared his wonderful artwork with me. It is definitely something I hope he will pursue.
If there is any way I could do something to show my thanks ... send him a message or speak to him on the phone (not trying to intrude on your private life) ... or simply send him some of my music autographed to him, please do not hesitate to let me know.
I thank you for giving me such a beautiful moment in my day and in my life. I'll treasure his portrait as long as I live.
May much joy and happiness be yours and his in the years to come,
PS Please drop me a note to confirm that this reached you successfully. If he has a particular favorite song of mine, do let me know, please.
You never know how you touch somebody. Kevin is also autistic with Aspergers................
- Thread: Life and death at FSU
Honestly, this attitude is enough to turn me off coming here anymore. I have family that went to FSU (and before you make any additional stupid comments they went there because the music education program is hands-down the best in the state) and any one of them could have been there in the library on a school night and been caught in a situation like this. I'm not a prolific poster, but I came here when I found it because I missed the old GSMB style of good posters, humor and just enough hatred of FSU, UGA and others. I lurk everyday and read most every thread. However, these comments and ones like them are completely uncalled for at this time. Maybe you should think before you type stupid comments next time.
- Thread: Tales From a Court Reporter
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
- Thread: Where's our picture, Ox?
For those who don't know/remember:
In his unfounded hatred for Jason Dufner, Ox proclaimed in 2013 that JD would never finish in the top 10 in a major ever again (absurd, I know). He was so confident that he went as far as to say that he would post a picture of himself Dufnering on his infamous Miata if he ever did again. Well it took longer than even Jesus expected but the Duf finally came through. T8 in the US open.
Come on, Ox. We want our picture.
- Thread: What do you do for a living?
Why don't we guess what others do for a living?
Cooter-turtle farmer by day and short order cook at the Huddle House by night
t-restroom attendant at a low end strip club
Law-night security at a Columbus, Ohio tattoo parlor/head shop
Sas-bouncer at an alternative lifestyle strip club
Av- shoe shine boy at LAX
Rex-morale officer at a cat boiling plant
Brad-tast-tester at a glow-in-the-dark condom factory
Ray-gynecologist at an old-folks home
Ox-fender puller at a Port St. Lucie Fact-O-Bake
- Thread: Ex-Husbands Thread
I have no ill feelings toward my ex wife of 11 years whatsoever. I haven't spoken a word to her since the day the ink dried on the dissolution. Still not sure why we got divorced but she came in the day after Christmas and said, " I don't want this house anymore, I don't want my business anymore, and I don't want to be married anymore".... I still remember it vividly because it was about 7.30 PM and I was sitting on the couch watching Titus and drinking a beer.... We split everything right down the middle, we had done pretty well on some real estate. I let her sell off all our shared items and send me a check for half... and we split the savings down the middle. I kept the 2 dogs and she kept the cat.....
I won't lie and say I wasn't a little angry for a month or so afterward but I was pretty busy at the time and after whoring myself around 4 or 5 nights a week found that female company wouldn't be all that difficult to come by when I needed it. Now after a couple of months of this I found a smokin little blond Peruvian chick with a set of aftermarket bozos that were obnoxiously large for her petite 5' frame and a set of tanned legs that would make most men drool....She became my new steady and although she still had her own place she would spend a lot of time at my new house cleaning, cooking and watching soap operas during the day while I was at work. One day I received a text from my ex and she said she was back in town for a couple days working and she really missed the dogs and wondered if she could see them....I thought about it for a couple of minutes then agreed and sent her my address and told her what time she could stop by......
Now the good part . I really didn't want to chance reopening any emotional wounds that sometimes happen in these high tension situations when face to face with an ex lover so I devised a plan that I thought would work best for everyone as I was happy with my life even though it had only been about 4 or 5 months since being divorced......And of course I figured rubbing my new ride(woman) in her face would give me the last word and a nice kick in the ass for her making me a single man ...So instead of me being there I had the new one there to let her in. I also had her wearing nothing but one of my button down pink and white pinstriped polo shirts and nothing else....This was a shirt that my ex had bought for me and always told me how good it looked on me.... Well when she showed up at the house my new woman was there to open the door and after about 5 to 10 seconds of standing there with a WTF look on her face she turned and stormed off back to her car and hauled ass.....I can't say I've ever been one to thrive on revenge because it usually backfires in your face but in this case it couldn't have worked out anymore perfectly.....Oh btw never heard anything from my ex since then...
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