Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

[ThreatMatrix]

Collateral Beauty - (A pirate gave it to me.) So this isn't bad movie I don't think - I only made it to 30 minutes. So Jaden Smith's dad is in this and he's the majority owner in a company that is having problems cause his daughter died and he no longer talks to anybody but instead writes letters to death, time and love. So he's nuts and the partners need to fix him so they hire three actors to play Death (Gwenneth Paltrow's Mom), Love (Pirates of the Caribean chick) and Time (token black guy). Will's partners are played by Titanic boob girl and Edward Norton. So it's got some good actors in it. And it has a clever plot. Lots of feels and self-actualizing so if your into that Joe Bob says Check it out.

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Kong Skull Island - Let me get to the important stuff first. No boobs. Which is disappointing because our heroine has large cans. But unlike Kong movies of the past Kong doesn't fall in love with her and try to remove her clothes. Very disappointing. There is an asian chick in the movie but she loves no one long time, gives no one a happy ending nor serves anyone tea so I'm not sure what purpose she serves. Even the natives keep their clothes on. Yawn. Sooo Morgan L Jackson or Samuel L Freeman, not sure which, plays an Army Colonel, who is an idiot of course and wants to kill Kong blah blah blah. **** blows up, Kong fights a lizard. Joe Bob says check it out.

Stay through the ending credits.

 

[playzwtrux]

Kong Skull Island - Let me get to the important stuff first. No boobs. Which is disappointing because our heroine has large cans. But unlike Kong movies of the past Kong doesn't fall in love with her and try to remove her clothes. Very disappointing. There is an asian chick in the movie but she loves no one long time, gives no one a happy ending nor serves anyone tea so I'm not sure what purpose she serves. Even the natives keep their clothes on. Yawn. Sooo Morgan L Jackson or Samuel L Freeman, not sure which, plays an Army Colonel, who is an idiot of course and wants to kill Kong blah blah blah. **** blows up, Kong fights a lizard. Joe Bob says check it out.

Stay through the ending credits.

I literally - most excellent review

 

[playzwtrux]

Fences - I watched over the w/e. it's a pretty good movie about one man's life, how it affects those around him, and not much else. There really was no point to it other than a look in on him during a period of time. I thought it was pretty good, but if you're into action, or suspense, this has none of it. be ready because there is A GREAT MAGNITUDE OF DIALOGUE.
It was really set up like a play to me. 90-95% of the movie was filmed at a house, either inside, but mostly in the back yard.
in case you missed it, Bubba (from Forest Gump) plays Denze's brother. - 7.5/10

 

[gingerlover]

The hollers - this ones floating on the cable channels now so checked it out. Has a good cast. Essentially your typical screwed up family and the mom gets sick. They reunite and work their problems out around her. Not as funny as I thought it would be and the drama wasn't to great either. I just felt like I had seen this movie many times before. Not bad but terribly predictable and played out situations. 5/10

 

[Swamp Queen]

Fences - I watched over the w/e. it's a pretty good moving about one man's life, how it affects those around him, and not much else. There really was no point to it other than a look in on him during a period of time. I thought it was pretty good, but if you're into action, or suspense, this has none of it. be ready because there is A GREAT MAGNITUDE OF DIALOGUE.
It was really set up like a play to me. 90-95% of the movie was filmed at a house, either inside, but mostly in the back yard.
in case you missed it, Bubba (from Forest Gump) plays Denze's brother. - 7.5/10

It is a play, so that's why it felt like a play.

I enjoyed it!

 

[MidwestChomp]

I literally - most excellent review

Yep. I think Matrix should start his own movie review website.

 

[TLB]

So he's nuts and the partners need to fix him so they hire three actors to play Death (Gwenneth Paltrow's Mom), Love (Pirates of the Caribean chick) and Time (token black guy).

Spoiler alert...

 

[gingerlover]

Snowden-has a good cast but turns into your typical martyr flick by the end. This was Oliver stone pleading with people to not see Snowden as a bad guy but a hero instead. Basically you know the story. Guy gets discharged from army, works for CIA, gets lots of raises, then tries to bring down the whole national security departments due to his conscious. It was a well acted movie but doesn't change my opinion that he should be tried for treason if they ever get him. Didn't get to political other than maybe the 10 seconds they criticized Obama and the fact he was a republican that fell I love with an ultra liberal. Lots of flashbacks and goes out of the way to make him far to like able. He had very few flaws according to this movie. Not sure what isn't real, but it's interesting. 6/10

 

[playzwtrux]

Last night my oldest son & I went to see The Fate of the Furious. Really good movie w/o a lot of the junk filler that I've seen in the others.
It holds to the story well and keeps moving w/o bogging you down with all the staged racing (yes, there's some racing in it, but not like it was early in the series).
As usual, there is some really sweet rides on display. They over play Tyrese are the bumbling idiot, but I'm not certain how far off that is from reality.
The smart girl from 7 is back cause as you know, they needed to fill some seats cause they been kill'n peeps off over the last few. A couple parts of the story are very predictable and you can tell early on who will be Hernandez-ed (too early?).
I'll let you watch it w/o tell'n anymore. You'll enjoy it - worth the $10 in my opinion, but I only paid $6.50 (cheap movie night).
I'd give it a 8.5/10

 

[gingerlover]

Captain fantastic - it's on prime if you have it. Basically a man raises his 6 kids in the wilderness. They are all very book smart, cultured, and can live off the land. A family tragedy forces them to go into the city where the kids realize they know nothing of the real world. Family issues come up and he starts to question if raising them right. It's pretty good and hard to stop watching. First scene is a little intense and the last half hour gets a little weird. Funniest part is the kids faces when they are watching their cousins play mortal kombat. It's well acted even by the little kids, a good movie, but nothing that will change your life. Definitely an indie movie feel to it. 7/10

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Pretentious french film Double feature;.
Blue Is The Warmest Color. If you're like me you've heard a lot about this ground breaking film. Remember Red Shoe Diaries from the 90's only not as sexy but more body parts. So it;s in french so whatever the plot is is not the point. This young chick fantasies about girls when she's with her boy so why not go in for the full experience. So we get three full on lesbo scenes, they go up, they go down, they go sideways they go doggy, they go scissors and maybe some other things I don't know the names of. We even get a draw-me-like-your-french-whore scene, In between the sex scenes they either teach kindergartners or go to raves. SO now the important thing - what do we get to see. Well if you look close you will see a sausage however it well be obscured by the first appearance of a muffin. You will say to yourself :"self did I just see what I thought I saw" and the answer will be yes. Well there's lots more of that to come. How naked do they get I hear you ask. Well lets just say not only do we know they shave we also know that they don't bleach. Lesbians do a lot of their work in the crotchal area so there's lots of crack. Anyway they be naked but it's not as exiting a it sounds. Then the girl crys and gets a job. The end. Joe Bob says check it out. (free on Netflix).

Young & Beautiful More french pretention. So our girl is 17 in this one but that's okay cuz it's in france land. So our girl has sex with her boyfriend but doesn't seem to enjoy it to much. So she does what french girls natural do and have sex for money with older men. At first she doesn't seem to enjoy it too much but then a touching song plays and she seems to get her groove. Until she screws to death an older older man - she rides that cowboy in to the sunset. She's depressed about it for a while but then has sexy time with her boyfriend or brother ( I wasn't following too close at this point. ) Then she gets in bed with an older women (her madam?) and the movie ends. So we see naked 17 year old boobies a lot and her nay nay once. Joe Bob says Check it out. (free on Netflix).

 

[GatorBart]

Captain fantastic - it's on prime if you have it. Basically a man raises his 6 kids in the wilderness. They are all very book smart, cultured, and can live off the land. A family tragedy forces them to go into the city where the kids realize they know nothing of the real world. Family issues come up and he starts to question if raising them right. It's pretty good and hard to stop watching. First scene is a little intense and the last half hour gets a little weird. Funniest part is the kids faces when they are watching their cousins play mortal kombat. It's well acted even by the little kids, a good movie, but nothing that will change your life. Definitely an indie movie feel to it. 7/10

That was my favorite movie from last year.

 

[gingerlover]

BFG - tried to watch it with my 4 year old since it's Disney, on Netflix, and anything is better than the same video over and over. My kid checked out pretty quick on it. May be its meant for older kids but I finished. I wasn't to impressed with it and found it rather boring. Like petes dragon much more. 4/10

 

[MidwestChomp]

Pretentious french film Double feature;.
Blue Is The Warmest Color. If you're like me you've heard a lot about this ground breaking film. Remember Red Shoe Diaries from the 90's only not as sexy but more body parts. So it;s in french so whatever the plot is is not the point. This young chick fantasies about girls when she's with her boy so why not go in for the full experience. So we get three full on lesbo scenes, they go up, they go down, they go sideways they go doggy, they go scissors and maybe some other things I don't know the names of. We even get a draw-me-like-your-french-whore scene, In between the sex scenes they either teach kindergartners or go to raves. SO now the important thing - what do we get to see. Well if you look close you will see a sausage however it well be obscured by the first appearance of a muffin. You will say to yourself :"self did I just see what I thought I saw" and the answer will be yes. Well there's lots more of that to come. How naked do they get I hear you ask. Well lets just say not only do we know they shave we also know that they don't bleach. Lesbians do a lot of their work in the crotchal area so there's lots of crack. Anyway they be naked but it's not as exiting a it sounds. Then the girl crys and gets a job. The end. Joe Bob says check it out. (free on Netflix).

Young & Beautiful More french pretention. So our girl is 17 in this one but that's okay cuz it's in france land. So our girl has sex with her boyfriend but doesn't seem to enjoy it to much. So she does what french girls natural do and have sex for money with older men. At first she doesn't seem to enjoy it too much but then a touching song plays and she seems to get her groove. Until she screws to death an older older man - she rides that cowboy in to the sunset. She's depressed about it for a while but then has sexy time with her boyfriend or brother ( I wasn't following too close at this point. ) Then she gets in bed with an older women (her madam?) and the movie ends. So we see naked 17 year old boobies a lot and her nay nay once. Joe Bob says Check it out. (free on Netflix).

 

[GatorBart]

BFG - tried to watch it with my 4 year old since it's Disney, on Netflix, and anything is better than the same video over and over. My kid checked out pretty quick on it. May be its meant for older kids but I finished. I wasn't to impressed with it and found it rather boring. Like petes dragon much more. 4/10

My 7 year old son has not expressed an interest - I guess we're not missing much. Thanks for the heads up!

 

[gingerlover]

Warcraft - WTF did I just watch. Maybe I need to play the games to get it but it's bad lord of the rings. Humans fight big green guys in a kingdom far away. Pay attention as to much is going on. 3/10

 

[TLB]

Warcraft - WTF did I just watch. Maybe I need to play the games to get it but it's bad lord of the rings. Humans fight big green guys in a kingdom far away. Pay attention as to much is going on. 3/10

I haven't played since the early version of the game. My understanding is that as the game series evolved to a MMORPG, there are a lot of recognizable characters, backstories, and plots/motivations that are reasonably well represented in the film - similar to the Avengers movies, but for the fantastically smaller group that knows who they are because they actually play the game. My take was that if you are deep in the game, you can appreciate the film, for the 99.999% rest of the world, 3/10 is generous. I doubt I'll watch it.

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Warcraft - WTF did I just watch. Maybe I need to play the games to get it but it's bad lord of the rings. Humans fight big green guys in a kingdom far away. Pay attention as to much is going on. 3/10

I watched with my son and he knew all the lore so he explained it to me. Also I did play the game though that didn't help much other than seeing some things brought to life from the game. It's mostly a prequel to the game. And I think there will be sequels which should be better. However, I don't think it would be very interesting unless you've played.

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Watched some war movies on netflix yesterday.
Sandcastle - US Soldiers try to get the water pumps going for an Iraqi village. If you see one water supply war movie this year this is the one. So the soldiers are trying to help the Iraqis but the terrorists kill any locals that help out. So it's one of those kinda movies. Not a lot of action unless you're really into water pipes but it didn't suck. No boobs. Joe Bob says check it out.
Jarhead 2 & 3 - Both are pretty good if you like action. And they're gung-ho which is nice to see - not a lot of whiney war is hell crap. Two was better than Three. Marines in the ME etc etc. No Boobs. Joe Bob says check it out.
Good Kill - So Ethan Hawke is a drone pilot in Nevada bombing Hadjis from the comfort of his air conditioned trailer. Just from that description you know that there's going to be a lot of soul searching but still it manages to be interesting. Things take a turn when the CIA takes over directing missions and have a different set of rules. The drone scenes are cool and I learned more about the "chair" force than I ever knew. I have to say Ethan gives an awesome performance. The movie could have been very cliche in it's anti-war sentiment but manages not to be preachy. There are some slow moments in the movie but all in all it was pretty good. The CIA canned responses are classic. No boobs. Joe Bob says check it out.