- Aug 28, 2014
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Fortunately you don't have to buy it. I've got both loaded on my laptop, I'm just learning how to use it so I was hoping someone had experience with it. And yeah there's a huge risk of bricking your car if you don't know what you're doing. I have the Carly for BMW OBD scanner which does a lot and is less risky but there are some things that can only be done with ISTA/INPA.Are you looking to buy the software? ISTA is the more up to date option. I personally wouldn't go near the stuff. Too many pitfalls on a car that sophisticated.
What kind of Beemer?Fortunately you don't have to buy it. I've got both loaded on my laptop, I'm just learning how to use it so I was hoping someone had experience with it. And yeah there's a huge risk of bricking your car if you don't know what you're doing. I have the Carly for BMW OBD scanner which does a lot and is less risky but there are some things that can only be done with ISTA/INPA.
Then take it to a local reputable tuner and have them do those things. I have multiple tunes loaded on handheld devices for my cars .....I never even plug them in and have a special cover for the port when I take them to the dealer so those meatheads don't dabble in my cars brains.....Get on a BMW forum and find out who's the best guy in your area.but there are some things that can only be done with ISTA/INPA.
Then I wouldn't be DIY ;)Then take it to a local reputable tuner and have them do those things. I have multiple tunes loaded on handheld devices for my cars .....I never even plug them in and have a special cover for the port when I take them to the dealer so those meatheads don't dabble in my cars brains.....Get on a BMW forum and find out who's the best guy in your area.
No I get what you're saying I just meant if there are certain parts of the process you aren't comfortable with.....If you are comfortable with getting into calibration then fine. I personally can't even set up my own laptop so you could imagine what kind of a mess I could create ….If it's more involved than cleaning my air filter or playing around with the adjustments on my coilovers I take it to my shop.Then I wouldn't be DIY ;)
You can't imagine what a pain in the ass it was to set up these tools. The tools are really the property of BMW so forums don't even want to share the links. Someone has to PM it to you. Then you have to have certain versions depending on your model and year. And then some only work on 32bit machines. It's taken me weeks and still some things don't work. I had to buy a laptop $175 then, and the first cable I bought didn't work so I had to buy another for $45.No I get what you're saying I just meant if there are certain parts of the process you aren't comfortable with.....If you are comfortable with getting into calibration then fine. I personally can't even set up my own laptop so you could imagine what kind of a mess I could create ….If it's more involved than cleaning my air filter or playing around with the adjustments on my coilovers I take it to my shop.
For the love of God.….You can't imagine what a pain in the ass it was to set up these tools. The tools are really the property of BMW so forums don't even want to share the links. Someone has to PM it to you. Then you have to have certain versions depending on your model and year. And then some only work on 32bit machines. It's taken me weeks and still some things don't work. I had to buy a laptop $175 then, and the first cable I bought didn't work so I had to buy another for $45.
There are three main things that you can do:
Code: That's the cutesy stuff like having your mirrors fold automatically or change how many times your turn single blinks.
Diagnostics: Reading and clearing codes, monitoring realtime engine values, which cylinders are misfiring, coolant, oil, fluid temperatures and then trouble shooting trees and reseting adaption values.
Programming: Not sure all the reasons you'd want to do this. If you replace one of the 60 computers in the car they have to be programmed to the car. That requires flashing the memory in the ECU and that can take hours. With the car off. And the car can draw up to 70Amps while it's doing that so you need a 70A power supply that will guarantee keeping the voltage up or you brick the car. The cheapest I've found was $400. And then I need a special $300 OBD interface. F that. I won't be doing any programming.
I don't know about other high end models but BMW's are "special". The battery is in the trunk, for weight balance, and you have to register the battery if you replace it. Dealer charges at least $100 to do that on top of the price of the battery. Fortunately that can be done with one of the tools. There's no oil dipstick on some models - you read the level through the display. Transmission fluid change costs over $800. Of course there's no way to check the level. BMW claims the fluid is lifetime but ZF, who makes the transmission, says 70k miles. The filter is in the pan so that has to be changed, you put fluid in until it comes out but that depends on fluid temperature so you have to have a way of measuring that. Then afterwards you have to reset the transmission adaptions with one of the tools above and then go through something like this process:
1) With the shifter in M Mode, accelerate the vehicle to ~30mph and select 3rd gear
2) Continue driving for 2 miles
3) Accelerate the vehicle to ~45mph and select 5th gear
4) Using light throttle, accelerate to 50mph and then coast to ~40mph without applying the
brakes, repeat for 4 cycles, then
5) Accelerate to 55mph and select 6th gear
6) With light throttle, accelerate to 65mph then coast to 50mph without applying the brakes, repeat for 4 cycles, then
7) Select 3rd gear and repeat steps 1-6 for 5 cycles, then coast to a standstill and proceed to Step 3 below
Actually the tranny fluid change isn't that bad if you DIY. Parts and fluid can be had for $250. The problem for me is that the car has to be level when you do it. Which means getting the car up on four jack stands. I didn't live this long to be crushed by a car.
Don’t forget to keep your left elbow on the armrest or you’ll have to start over.For the love of God.….
Christ that thing better blow me when I'm done with all that.....Don’t forget to keep your left elbow on the armrest or you’ll have to start over.
It’s like an extremely needy woman.Christ that thing better blow me when I'm done with all that.....
My thoughts after reading all that are that who would want to own one?You can't imagine what a pain in the ass it was to set up these tools. The tools are really the property of BMW so forums don't even want to share the links. Someone has to PM it to you. Then you have to have certain versions depending on your model and year. And then some only work on 32bit machines. It's taken me weeks and still some things don't work. I had to buy a laptop $175 then, and the first cable I bought didn't work so I had to buy another for $45.
There are three main things that you can do:
Code: That's the cutesy stuff like having your mirrors fold automatically or change how many times your turn single blinks.
Diagnostics: Reading and clearing codes, monitoring realtime engine values, which cylinders are misfiring, coolant, oil, fluid temperatures and then trouble shooting trees and reseting adaption values.
Programming: Not sure all the reasons you'd want to do this. If you replace one of the 60 computers in the car they have to be programmed to the car. That requires flashing the memory in the ECU and that can take hours. With the car off. And the car can draw up to 70Amps while it's doing that so you need a 70A power supply that will guarantee keeping the voltage up or you brick the car. The cheapest I've found was $400. And then I need a special $300 OBD interface. F that. I won't be doing any programming.
I don't know about other high end models but BMW's are "special". The battery is in the trunk, for weight balance, and you have to register the battery if you replace it. Dealer charges at least $100 to do that on top of the price of the battery. Fortunately that can be done with one of the tools. There's no oil dipstick on some models - you read the level through the display. Transmission fluid change costs over $800. Of course there's no way to check the level. BMW claims the fluid is lifetime but ZF, who makes the transmission, says 70k miles. The filter is in the pan so that has to be changed, you put fluid in until it comes out but that depends on fluid temperature so you have to have a way of measuring that. Then afterwards you have to reset the transmission adaptions with one of the tools above and then go through something like this process:
1) With the shifter in M Mode, accelerate the vehicle to ~30mph and select 3rd gear
2) Continue driving for 2 miles
3) Accelerate the vehicle to ~45mph and select 5th gear
4) Using light throttle, accelerate to 50mph and then coast to ~40mph without applying the
brakes, repeat for 4 cycles, then
5) Accelerate to 55mph and select 6th gear
6) With light throttle, accelerate to 65mph then coast to 50mph without applying the brakes, repeat for 4 cycles, then
7) Select 3rd gear and repeat steps 1-6 for 5 cycles, then coast to a standstill and proceed to Step 3 below
Actually the tranny fluid change isn't that bad if you DIY. Parts and fluid can be had for $250. The problem for me is that the car has to be level when you do it. Which means getting the car up on four jack stands. I didn't live this long to be crushed by a car.
I agree totally and I do my research before buying anything. I think if you know ahead of time what you're getting into then it is what it is. That's not to say every make doesn't have a few hidden nuances...they all do and that's part of the "character" of any car, new or older......Then again I'm the type of(car) guy that falls in love a half dozen times a day just on my way to work...Whoa, hoss. That's on older Beemers. Up through 2016, the factory paid for all oil changes for the first four years or 50,000 miles. It's now three years, 36,000 miles. Most owners didn't care if there was a dipstick or not.
Porsche doesn't cover jack shyt. You wanna drive one? Pay up.
Threat's probably outside the factory maintenance period. And, yes, dealers like to sell complicated cars because they make more on service than sales. That's good old-fashioned capitalism.
No disrespect intended but you're a Chevy guy, aren't you?As a car guy, you want a car you can tinker with. BMW has gone completely out of their way to make sure their owners can't do a damn thing to their own cars (no dipsticks, really? ) Instead, you better take the thing to the dealer and pay their insane repair prices. It's nothing but a scam.
They are neat cars, but not neat enough to deal with that crapola. It pisses me off. Those guys deserve two middle fingers from everyone who love working on cars.
As a car guy, you want a car you can tinker with. BMW has gone completely out of their way to make sure their owners can't do a damn thing to their own cars (no dipsticks, really? ) Instead, you better take the thing to the dealer and pay their insane repair prices. It's nothing but a scam.
They are neat cars, but not neat enough to deal with that crapola. It pisses me off. Those guys deserve two middle fingers from everyone who love working on cars.