Pro golfer's wife attacks him for not playing well at TPC

PastyStoole said:

This is exactly the conundrum this guy finds himself in. She's 36, she's at the hight of her sexual prime, and she's mentally unstable. Think about what an animal this chick must be in the sack. You know they had insane sex *THAT FRICKN' NIGHT* right after he went and got her from county lock up. She probably blew him on the ride home, right in the middle of his lecture to her that she needs to "get help," the whole time his heart is racing because he doesn't know if she'll finally bite it off this time. Then she probably took him straight to the bedroom, pinned him down and engaged him in the kind of violent and terrifying sex that had him checking his equipment afterward to make sure there was no damage. And thus we see the beginning of the vicious cycle this poor dude is trapped in all over again: Too spent the next day to work on the hitch in your swing => another bad tournament and the looming threat of losing your tour card => verbal and physical abuse at the hands of your psycho wife => violent and terrifying "make up sex" in which you are an unwilling participant => Too spent the next day to work on that hitch in your swing.

I'd advise him to get out, but I know better. Even if he did leave he'd still be fighting an almost irresistible urge to call her again for years afterward. She'd lure him back eventually. Short of having her institutionalized he's stuck in it for the long haul.

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PastyStoole said:

This is exactly the conundrum this guy finds himself in. She's 36, she's at the hight of her sexual prime, and she's mentally unstable. Think about what an animal this chick must be in the sack. You know they had insane sex *THAT FRICKN' NIGHT* right after he went and got her from county lock up. She probably blew him on the ride home, right in the middle of his lecture to her that she needs to "get help," the whole time his heart is racing because he doesn't know if she'll finally bite it off this time. Then she probably took him straight to the bedroom, pinned him down and engaged him in the kind of violent and terrifying sex that had him checking his equipment afterward to make sure there was no damage. And thus we see the beginning of the vicious cycle this poor dude is trapped in all over again: Too spent the next day to work on the hitch in your swing => another bad tournament and the looming threat of losing your tour card => verbal and physical abuse at the hands of your psycho wife => violent and terrifying "make up sex" in which you are an unwilling participant => Too spent the next day to work on that hitch in your swing.

I'd advise him to get out, but I know better. Even if he did leave he'd still be fighting an almost irresistible urge to call her again for years afterward. She'd lure him back eventually. Short of having her institutionalized he's stuck in it for the long haul.

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SGAGator said:

Too bad it wasn’t Mac’s wife, we might have won more

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oxrageous said:

The guy has battered wife syndrome. How embarrassing.

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MJMGator said:

Is he a Vol? I know I saw something posted on here once about “pegging” being the latest craze up there in Knoxville.

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GR8 2B said:

Pasty's description has the ring of truth to it. Been there, done that, is my guess.

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PastyStoole said:

Yes, we've all been there, haven't we? You're replacing a gasket on the kitchen sink, you start to feel a presence near you, and you realize it's her standing there staring at you. All of a sudden she screams "Pussy!", and before you can turn to say "Wha..?" she adds injury to insult by lodging a grapefruit knife into your neck.

What provokes such a violent and sudden outburst, you ask? A flattering comment you made about the girl she invited into your boudoir for a *FULLY SANCTIONED* three-way some two months ago. (In your defense, her breasts, indeed, were "the despair of painters and the charm of poets.") She's apparently been seething about it for 60 days, or not at all, perhaps it just now popped into her head. Who the fck knows with this psychopathic freak?

Upon release from your hospital stay, you go home with the intent of picking up your sh*t and hauling ass, praying to yourself that she won't be there. You open the door and she's standing there in the living room, a huge, hand-painted "Welcome Home" sign hangs behind her, with about a million balloons and a bouquet of flowers you'd never want, partly because they smell like a funeral home, which is a little too much foreshadowing for your taste.

Who's standing next to her? The only person in the world with lower self esteem than you - the girl you had the three-way with. Making a mental note not to complement her breast, you say to yourself, "What's the harm in one more depraved, loveless, sexual encounter? I'll just leave in the morning."

Three weeks later, you're recaulking the bathtub when you start to feel the presence of someone standing behind you...

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