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  1. Gator515151

    It wasn't even close.

  2. Gator515151

    Ever had a neighborhood feud?

    Got one brewing next door. We are all retired, the guy next to me is a retired brick mason, the guy across the street from him a retired fireman, the guy across the street from me is retired but currently serving as Mayor of our city, and of course me a retired building inspector. Every one of...
  3. Gator515151

    Wonder if I just screwed the pooch?

    So my daughter in law told my wife this morning that her vacuum cleaner broke down yesterday. I called her and told her to bring it over and I would look at it. The rocker switch was bad so I found a shop that had one. While I was there I picked up a new belt. I went home, replaced the switch...
  4. Gator515151

    A little baseball wisdom

    At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside And asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" "Yes, coach", replied the little boy. " “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy...
  5. Gator515151

    Got a stupid computer question

    Looking for a not so stupid answer. Back 20 or so years ago I had a couple of old desktops in my computer room that I trashed and updated to newer equipment. Before I trashed them I copied most of my important files to the new desktops. However to be on the safe side in case I missed something...
  6. Gator515151

    Are you always wrong when dealing with your spouse?

    I am so pissed. I had to make a run to the hardware store and my wife asked me if I would stop by Taco Bell on my way home and pick her up 2 crunchy tacos. I got home and she started bitching me out because she said she wanted soft tacos. I told her no she said crunchy to which she replied. "You...
  7. Gator515151

    Women

    I have 4 women in my life. Daughter in law #1 The Bitch....She is the one who thinks only her opinion matters Daughter in law #2 The Busybody.....She thinks it is her job to take care of everybody and make sure everybody is happy. Daughter in law #3 The Super Snowflake.....Everything upsets her...
  8. Gator515151

    I'm glad Ox is a cat lover

    Because I could see him doing something like this if he was a dog lover.
  9. Gator515151

    Scary stuff

    So last night my daughter in law was in a bad car accident and my wife spent the night at the hospital with her. When she got home this morning every smoke detector in the house was going off and I was sound asleep. First off what set off the smoke detectors and second off how the hell did I...
  10. Gator515151

    Who likes scented candles?

    Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her Vagina I'm not even curious what these things smell like. I just realized I posted this in the wrong forum. Feel free to move it or maybe someone could mention Hillary and turn this political.
  11. Gator515151

    Maybe the best comeback line of all time

    At least for me it was. Sometimes I crack myself up. So tonight Mrs51 and I took 2 of our daughter in laws out to dinner. Somehow the conversation took a weird turn. The girls were talking about selfies. I commented I may be old fashioned but I might just be the only person on the planet who has...
  12. Gator515151

    My kind of doctor

    So my doctor sent me to UF cancer center for a CT scan on my chest simply because I am a 50 year smoker. So after the scan the doctor I saw came into the room and she was smoking hot. Then she asked if I was ready for the good news. She said she was totally amazed that my lungs were in...
  13. Gator515151

    My wife's golf clubs...

    So Mrs51 asked me, "If I were to die would you remarry?" after a little thought I answered "Well after a respectable time passed I probably would". Then she asked "Would you let her drive my car?" Once again after some thought I answered "I probably would". Then she asked "Would she sleep in our...
  14. Gator515151

    Gotta love Emmitt

  15. Gator515151

    The dangers of being a Gator fan

    This was too funny just had to share it. I had my annual appointment with my cardiologist today. Doc asked me if I had been having any chest pain. I answered only during the 4th quarter of the Kentucky game. Doc laughed and said this is no joke. The 1997 FSU game gave him 4 heart attack victims...
  16. Gator515151

    So will this get me laid?

    Monday Mrs51 and I will have been hitched 46 years. I put together a little video I will post to her Facebook page Monday morning. What I really want to know is which version should I post, the one with backup vocals or the one with just me? LOL I'd probably have a better chance of getting laid...
  17. Gator515151

    Huge breaking news

    I don't drink but this is so sad for most of you. 45,000 barrels of Jim Beam. Thousands of barrels of Jim Beam bourbon burn in Kentucky
  18. Gator515151

    The dog ate my teeth.

    About 40 years ago I had two teeth knocked out in a construction accident. The dentist ground down the two teeth next to the two missing teeth to make a bridge. Over time the ground down teeth under the bridge decayed and the 4 tooth bridge became a 6 tooth bridge. When that bridge went bad I...
  19. Gator515151

    And the white boy wins! Fastest 100m dash in high school history

    New 100m high school record set by WHITE LIGHTNING.
  20. Gator515151

    The Easter Bunny is a bad ass

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