Bianchi and Dooley definitely read Gatorchatter

[Gator Fever]

Listening to Dooley's question he for sure reads or knows about it. Also seems like UAA people are visiting Gatorchatter regularly.

The administration coming here is what got Robinson signed.

 

[gingerlover]

not sure they are reading boards, but I am positive they are reading twitter. when news broke last week that things were not looking good even the Mac can do no wrong group turned on him over there. Needless to say they are back at it now pretending they were never worried, but the entire staff was getting roasted for about a week.

I look at it this way, social media has changed everything, and I don't want a coach who can't ignore it because the internet is a place for people to do nothing but complain about something. That being said Mac pulled a A- B+ class out his tail end. He still has to make good hires, and fix the qb issue, and compete against the elite teams on the field and recruiting trail. there is no reason we should have to fill half a class on NSD.

 

[Alagator]

The administration coming here is what got Robinson signed.

Mac should be thanking us...

 

[T REX]

I think sometimes people don't realize that the shape Muschamp left this program in was really really bad.

You know what I heard for a long long time...people don't realize that the shape Meyer left this program in was really really bad. Meyer even said it's broken...

Same song and dance. Mac will get this year to show what he can do.

 

[divits]

You know what I heard for a long long time...people don't realize that the shape Meyer left this program in was really really bad. Meyer even said it's broken...

.

Well, it was and he did.

 

[Swamp Donkey]

Well, it was and he did.

Fwiw, Creyer blames Fooley for not allowing him to compete w Bammer.

Now he can bc OSU will pay whatever it takes.

 

[ATXGator]

You know what I heard for a long long time...people don't realize that the shape Meyer left this program in was really really bad. Meyer even said it's broken...

Same song and dance. Mac will get this year to show what he can do.

Think about it... Meyer left a broken program and Muschamp made it worse, but Mac is supposed to magically fix it in 2 years. Has he been perfect... no, but we will see this year. I hope he gets it done.

Bad news for you also... if Mac goes 8-4... he is getting one more year. It doesn't matter if you like that or not.

 

[T REX]

Think about it... Meyer left a broken program and Muschamp made it worse, but Mac is supposed to magically fix it in 2 years. Has he been perfect... no, but we will see this year. I hope he gets it done.

Bad news for you also... if Mac goes 8-4... he is getting one more year. It doesn't matter if you like that or not.

It's bad news for all Gators. Why would you want to keep him after another 4 loss season and getting killed by FSU again?

 

[ATXGator]

It's bad news for all Gators. Why would you want to keep him after another 4 loss season and getting killed by FSU again?

Because it takes more than 3 years to build a team back to elite level after the team has been gutted.

 

[oxrageous]

I once saw an entire article by Bianchi about explosive diarrhea, obviously lifted directly from Ox's epic story.....

Your worst nightmare: "Intestinal requirements" while driving

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007. Enjoy!

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face must have been one of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

There is a box under this story asking me if I want to upload a photo. After careful consideration, I've decided to spare you of that, gentle reader.

 

[Alagator]

This story gets me EVERY TIME!!! Trying to maintain my cool while sitting in the office is near impossible!

 

[GatorInKnox]

my anus had finally surrendered

This is just screaming to be sigged out of context

 

[maheo30]

I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears. Great story Ox.

 

[GR8 2B]

I think sometimes people don't realize that the shape Muschamp left this program in was really really bad. Mac barley had enough OL to field a team. It has only been two years and he had to rely on a transfer from Furman year one. He lost his best OL to a freak injury. It takes years to build OL depth. There are very few that come in as true freshman and are ready to play in the SEC. He has had two years.

He still hasn't found a QB and that is true. This year will be the best to see if Franks or Trask can be serviceable at QB. I still don't understand why he didn't play one of them earlier in the year instead of AA.

Yes he lost a couple recruits, but he didn't lose guys in positions of need. He pulled in a Top 10 class and did well in the areas we needed (DT and DB).

Yes... we get killed by top tier teams, but we don't have the talent right now to compete. A big part of us getting killed is that we just don't have the talent. This recruiting class gets us closer. We still are missing out on the elite players, but remember that Bama has had the #1 class 7 years in a row! FSU has been Top 5 for a while (not sure where they ended up this year).

Muschamp was a good defensive recruiter, but he was horrible recruiting the offensive side of the ball. He never recruited a top WR and he got one QB who decided to take PEDs. I think your expectations that somebody can turn this around and just magically compete with top schools in 2 years are a bit much.

This x 1000

 

[GatorJ]

Your worst nightmare: "Intestinal requirements" while driving

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007. Enjoy!

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face must have been one of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

There is a box under this story asking me if I want to upload a photo. After careful consideration, I've decided to spare you of that, gentle reader.

I looked everywhere for that thread. I can't find it.

 

[bradgator2]

Your worst nightmare: "Intestinal requirements" while driving

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007. Enjoy!

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face must have been one of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

There is a box under this story asking me if I want to upload a photo. After careful consideration, I've decided to spare you of that, gentle reader.

 

[MJMGator]

Your worst nightmare: "Intestinal requirements" while driving

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007. Enjoy!

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face must have been one of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

There is a box under this story asking me if I want to upload a photo. After careful consideration, I've decided to spare you of that, gentle reader.

This happened to me about 3-4 months ago...snarled in traffic at spaghetti junction on I-285 in Atlanta. Far left lane, no way in hell to get over 4 lanes and make it to a restroom. I gritted my teeth so hard the next HOUR as each wave of cramps came that I actually cracked a back molar (just had the crown put on today). Like you, the last few miles were the worst. I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to make it home. My thoughts wandered to what the clean-up process would entail. All I could think of was the scene from Raising Arizona where the explosive pack from the bank bag exploded in the old sedan and covered every inch of the interior and occupants. I was unbuckling my pants as my knees rubbed together coming into the house through the garage. Nearly crumpled my 2 year old son as he ran up to me with his usual warm, excited greeting..."MOVE, SON!". Somehow made it to the crapper and don't know how the porcelain survived the trauma.

My son is still cautious to this day when I enter the house.


I'd rather take a bullet then relive that afternoon.

 

[aka]

Those guys just wish they could say the stuff we say. And, as a writer or even a hack writer, it must be hard to constantly come up with something to put out there. Used to be, they probably had their once or twice daily article and had a deadline for it. Now, they have to constantly send stuff out on social media. They probably scrounge for ideas anywhere they can and we got lots of ideas and even more opinions. Hell, we're a treasure trove. We should have a pic or icon for each one of these writers so we can call them out directly.lol

 

[GatorInKnox]

This happened to me about 3-4 months ago...snarled in traffic at spaghetti junction on I-285 in Atlanta. Far left lane, no way in hell to get over 4 lanes and make it to a restroom. I gritted my teeth so hard the next HOUR as each wave of cramps came that I actually cracked a back molar (just had the crown put on today). Like you, the last few miles were the worst. I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to make it home. My thoughts wandered to what the clean-up process would entail. All I could think of was the scene from Raising Arizona where the explosive pack from the bank bag exploded in the old sedan and covered every inch of the interior and occupants. I was unbuckling my pants as my knees rubbed together coming into the house through the garage. Nearly crumpled my 2 year old son as he ran up to me with his usual warm, excited greeting..."MOVE, SON!". Somehow made it to the crapper and don't know how the porcelain survived the trauma.

My son is still cautious to this day when I enter the house.


I'd rather take a bullet then relive that afternoon.

My story does not have a happy ending. On my way to a rec volleyball game I get absolutely unimaginable cramps. In the heat of the moment, I made one of the dumbest mistakes of my life: I thought I was skilled enough to selectively let a fart through to relieve some of the pressure without souping my briefs. I took a gamble, and I lost.

 

[OllieGator]

Just last week I'm driving in the horrible 95 traffic into downtown and can feel it building. As Ox wrote above I was ok until pulling into the parking garage and getting out of the car. Gravity made me its bitch.

So as I start the long perp walk to the elevator when one of the hottest girls at my work joins me and happily begins making small talk. Picture me having to go down the slow ass parking garage elevator. Walk to the stop light, wait, walk into the building then escalator to the 2nd floor to then wait for an elevator and the long ride up to 26. All in the company of the hottie and me trying my hardest to not let anything slip.

Amazingly I made it to the floor, she branched off to the other entrance and I was able to waddle like hell to the bathroom AND there was actually an empty stall.

Recently every time I go into the bathroom all stalls are full and the bastards are playing candy crush or something. Have never seen guys take so long on the ****ter but that's another story...