Most of y'all have heard my story...
I can't stand my X, don't even talk to her if I don't have to. She told me she didn't want to be married anymore 10 days after our 15th anniversary.
She didn't want anything, just didn't want to be married. I was messed up for about a year, not suicidal thoughts or anything, but it really destroyed me (everything I believed in was gone). It took a year and a half to work out the details before we finally signed the papers in a courtroom (on her birthday - back then she probably thought it was the best present ever). Once the ink dried, custody is 50/50, no alimony, no child support - either way. She pays half and I pay half of the kids necessities.
I don't dislike her because of the divorce, actually hope she has a great happy life, just no where near me or the kids. It's really done some rough mental things to the kids. Studies show that it's worse 5 years after than it is at the time of separation. I had a hard time believing it when I first read that, but now seeing that it's true (October will be 5 years). I should have taken full custody when I could have, but being the caring person I am, I split it with her. If I knew then, what I know now.
There is absolutely no discipline when they are with her, so the older 2 (17&18) can run to her house when they get in trouble. My youngest is 9 so he can't come & go when he wants to. I honestly feel like she just wants them around to say that she has kids. I think she loves them, but has no courage to discipline them. She's afraid they won't want to be with her if she does (likely thinks they'll run to my house instead of hers). She also wants to party her life away and kids tend to get in the way with that. It's tough being a parent, Wussies need not apply (do the world a favor & don't).
When I remarried, I'm certain she realized what she had done and that her "unhappiness" was not caused by me, but that she's just an unhappy person through & through. I feel very certain that she cheated as well, but I didn't go looking. Couldn't care less, and really wouldn't have mattered anyway. She did what I never would have, walked away (I would if I had caught her cheating, but not for any other reason).
You guys win in horrible marriages... I just happen to be a guy who believed that you should marry once, and with hard work you could have the 50+ year marriage. Silly me.