Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

[gingerlover]

Bay watch - checked it out as I find the Rock to be funny and good in his clown role. Has some funny moments and lots of fun with the absurdity of life guards solving crimes. They really went all in with the d*ck jokes on this one. No boobs but watch if you want a descent two hours. 5/10

 

[gingerlover]

Little evil - on Netflix and stars adam Scott and Evangeline Lilly. Basically a comedy on the Omen. He marries a women but suspects her son is evil but doesn't know the father. It starts out a little funny but then goes off track the last half hour when it gets sappy. Preview looked better than movie. The rest of the cast has a few people you'd recognize and has Clancy brown and sally field in minor roles. Watch if truly bored. No boobs. 4/10

 

[TheDouglas78]

Double Feature weekend before the storm:

Girl on a Train (2016): Decent cast and solid movie. The intrigue of what happened to this restless house wife and the players involved. The reveal could have been handled better, my wife read the book and of course it was handled better there. The movie was entertaining. 7/10.

JimBob: there were boobs seen, but not harmed in this movie.

Passengers (2016): What a boring movie. Starts off like most of these types of movies do, something goes bad and the rest of the events follow. Except in other SciFi movies it gets interesting, and this had the ability to really have a good twist. It's just a flat boring movie. We are supposed to like a guy who is selfish (don't need to I like myself) or a rich girl who is kind of flaky. It's 1:45 of them trying to have a relationship, and about 40 minutes of them solving a problem with the usually troupes. 4/10.

JimBob: this movie could have badly used some boobies... all we got is something that would excite URG or T... male a$$.

 

[T REX]

IT - No power and a great way to get out of the heat. It was okay. Skarsgard's Pennywise is creepy but not quite up to Curry's. It's about a 7/10. It's just too much novel to put into a 2 hour movie with another 2 hours to go. It is a decent adaptation of a King novel.

 

[NVGator]

IT - No power and a great way to get out of the heat. It was okay. Skarsgard's Pennywise is creepy but not quite up to Curry's. It's about a 7/10. It's just too much novel to put into a 2 hour movie with another 2 hours to go. It is a decent adaptation of a King novel.

We went to 3 different theaters this past weekend to see it and all showings were sold out.

 

[Zambo]

I can't remember the last time I went to a theater without buying tickets online first.

 

[NVGator]

I can't remember the last time I went to a theater without buying tickets online first.

Our experience was a very last minute "Date Night" that wasn't solidified until about 1 hour before it happened. We took our chances and failed. It's not too often we actually get to go to a movie theatre in the first place but thanks for pointing out the error of our ways.

 

[Zambo]

Sorry I wasn't trying to be a dick I just found it odd to drive to three different places and strike out.

 

[NVGator]

Sorry I wasn't trying to be a dick I just found it odd to drive to three different places and strike out.

I'm not gonna lie, I made it clear I was pissed that she didn't but tix online before.

However, to her defense, she was trying to use gift cards that were given to her and apparently you can use them online.

I'm just the driver.

 

[Zambo]

Well I hope the rest of the date went better

 

[TheDouglas78]

Power with no internet became a Redbox Night

The Purge: Election Year (2016): Lets start off by saying I'm a huge Purge Series fan, I love the world they have set up. In my opinion this wasn't the best purge movie, that would be The Purge: Anarchy. This movie starts out that it's election year (surprise) and the two candidates are a congresswoman who wants to end the Purge and a Reverend who is a member of the New Founding Fathers obviously wanting to continue the purge. The New Founding Fathers feels she is a threat, so with less than a week to go lifts the ban on killing high ranking government officials on Purge night. The Purge starts and the real movie starts. 7/10 for entertainment, the acting isn't the best.

JimBob: No boobs were scene or harmed in this movie.

 

[NVGator]

Netflix: Ozark watched 4 of the 10 episodes. Really good so far and there's boobs.

 

[gingerlover]

Baby driver - good movie. By now you probably have heard the back ground story. Kid is a getaway driver for robbers and listens to music. The movie is set to his soundtrack and everything in rhythm. Was a nice change. Has a great cast and all play their parts well. He basically gets in to deep and the end is him trying to get out. The last scenes are really great and the ending was unexpected. This was a refreshing different take on things and I don't see it having a sequel. 7/10

 

[gingerlover]

Life - Some scientists on the international space station receive a sample from mars and find life in it. At first it just seems like a harmless organism until it starts growing rapidly and learning to think. Of course they all do the wrong things and everything goes bad. The rest of the movie is them trying to figure out how to kill it, while it picks them off, and keep it from getting to earth. Personally I didn't like this movie much. It was way to predictable on how things would go and feel like I've seen it before. It had a good cast, the movie itself just wasn't there. 4/10

 

[ThreatMatrix]

LA LA LAnd - Cuz it was free on HBO. So this movie had primary colors and girls mostly in dresses which are two things I like so it had that going for it. But it had Jazz in it which, you know, only weirdos like so don't say I didn't warn you. It has other music in it but none of it was from Led Zep II so I can't say it was very good. Also it had broadwayish dancing in it so check your penises (peni?) at the door. So the actor in it is the guy who was in Nice Guys ( a good movie) not named Russel Crowe and the actress is that chick you know that you can't figure out if you'd just want to be her friend or bang her. So boy meets girl and takes her to see an old timey movie, Ben Hur I think but that's not important because the film breaks and they decide to go to the planetarium to see the Pink Floyd show but when they get there somebody forgot to start the Pink Floyd music but everything works out fine because the 'shrooms kick in and they start tripping and hallucinate they are dancing on the ceiling. That's pretty much the most interesting thing that happens in the movie. No boobs that I recall - but I wasn't watching too close. I recommend this movie for insomniacs. Joe Bob says check it out.

 

[TLB]

10 Cloverfield Lane (Amazon Prime)

Small cast, mostly filmed in an underground bunker during some sort of attack. I knew of the connection to the alien invasion film Cloverfield, but you quickly forget that in this film. John Goodman plays the guy who built the bunker, and he has a local boy (late 20's?) that came beating down the door to get in when the invasion started, and then there is our main character of a young female who Goodman 'rescued' from a car crash (he later admits it is his fault 'because he was in a hurry'). I'll try not to reveal much, but I'll say that relying on a small cast in a confined setting requires good direction and use of of dialogue to keep the story intense and the audience attentive. Well, it did that, fairly well.

The entire time, you are kept wondering if Goodman is nuts, or honestly a good guy telling the scary truth...and they keep that question floating on both sides of the line all the way up to the ending very well. There is one scene where they two guests are playing a game with Goodman and they have to guess what clue he has on the card...this was the only time frame where I felt things were going a bit campy/overboard/cheesy as I knew what was going on with the double meaning of the dialogue...but even when you know the writer is pushing an obvious button, you're not quite sure if Goodman is good or bad. Other than that, the climax scene at the end is somewhat rewarding with Goodman's role, and the lead female makes a 'feel good' decision that is kinda meh for the ending. But the climax scene itself is almost a completely different film from the first 85% leading up to it. You'll understand if you watch it.

Bottom line, worth a redbox or whatever. Definitely not a date night film. I'd give it about a 7/10. No boobs, but some half decent bra shots.


Since I watched it on Prime, at home, I can't say I sneaked across the hall for a double feature at the theater. I'll try to uphold my (ill) reputation next time.

 

[TLB]

Prophecy of Eve (Amazon)

Written, Directed, Produced, Fellatio'd, and Ass-Plugged by one guy in his quest to make his dream film. This has "B-Movie" written all over it, if only it could achieve such quality. Oh, and the lead character is also one of the producers. Go figure.

So what runs a little over an hour is apparently the opening part of what was hoped to be a series of films, as the movie closes with "To Be Continued..." not that you couldn't see it coming throughout the film with a major political figure with no real role in this film being referenced several times and a few other obvious foreshadowing items. The story takes place in "Angel City", I'll let you guess where it is filmed. But let's move to the cast, shall we? All major roles are played by Asian Americans (at least there is no voice dubbing). There are what appear to be Philipino actors filling in the minor roles with additional Asian Americans. And all the really bad guys are white males. Subtle messaging much? There is one good cop, an Ice-T wannabe called "Officer Black". Oi....and can these guys act? I didn't see much acting. There were a few sword fights, though. The first was in a dojo with the good guys practicing, and they obviously hired in guys from an actual dojo that can use the weapons for demonstration as they can hardly carry a line. Our lead character has a swordfight with four bad guys, because who brings guns to a knife fight? Of course she kicks their asses, but you can't tell during the fight as the slow-mo and angle changes are stacked atop on another to hide the fact that the actress can't actually fight - you have to take her ass kicking prowess from the way guy roll on the ground afterward, except for the one guy with the ol sword under the arm trick as he's stabbed to death.

The acting is bad. The dialogue is bad. The filming is a little better but still bad. The special effects are bad (red eyes so you know when someone is a bad guy, green if they are good). The story is bad in that it tries too hard to lay groundwork for follow up films that will never get made rather than building this film into something to generate money and interest for follow up films.

Run from this film. Run. 2/10 as I'm not into Asian American chicks, but they probably would have been really worth watching in a porn film. No boobs were even hinted at in this film.

 

[TLB]

Survivor (2014) <Amazon Prime>

The only name/face to recognize is Kevin Sorbo, a staple of Sci-Fi channel films...and he gets second billing. Story is set far in the future, sun grew and ate our solar system, humans scattered on ships in search of habitable planets. Sorbo is the captain of one which finds a habitable planet but the ship blows up as they near it. Semi-hot blond is our lead character racing across the planet to get to the injured captain, then to the ship to send off a beacon. All the while she is harassed by humans dressed up in leftover costumes from Mad Max as well as some quality beasts that are sometimes SCi-Fi channel CGI, and at other times an actor in a suit rolling around on all fours. It appears to be shot in the Southwest with all the barren desert shots, but she frequently passes through woods. The film is about 75% drama/action soundtrack with her running away from something, interspersed with conversations via her communicator thingy from her wrist (which works even without her gear/outfit, so is it embedded into her forearm, I dunno).

Film is bad. Not utterly horrible, but Sci-Fi bad so you know what you're in for. 3/10, not recommended, no boobs/bras/anything but dirt and chase scenes.

 

[gingerlover]

Pirates of the Caribbean 5 - set about 10-15 years after number 3. The son of will turner is searching for jack to help break his dad's curse. Most the pirates return and they are being hunted by ghosts jack sparrow crossed a long time ago. Moves at a decent pace and was better than the last couple of them.

The cast is mostly the same other than barden as the villain, a new girl, and the guy who plays turners son (the week link of the cast). Had a few good action scenes, specifically the escape and a few that could have been better. The ending was ok and sets up for more. No boobs. 6.5/10

 

[gingerlover]

Transformers 5 - to start things off you don't watch these movies expecting some profound acting or Oscar performance all around. You watch these to turn you brain off, sit back, and watch some cool stuff happen on the screen. I've always had a soft spot for these as transformers was my favorite as a kid. Despite how much the source material has been crapped on I still come back.

So it picks up a few years after number 4. They have been banned from earth (other than Cuba) and are just trying to survive. Optimus is still floating in space and Marky mark is still the tough guy human. The story follows as they are looking for the descendants of Merlin and King Arthur to help stop the world from ending. The new baddie brainwashes prime to help her. They tell him they love him and all is well for the end fight. Hopkins, while accused of the money grab, actually looks like he had fun making this one as the guardian of the secrets.

Most the good guys from the last one and a few from the first couple return. There are some new bad guys as well, but non are memorable and don't get much time. The effects are cool and the new lead chick is hot (no boob). A couple new good guy robots, one is pretty funny and the other is completely different from his source material and worthless.

Basically it's everything you expect from these. Plot isn't that great but action scenes are. 5/10.