Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

T REX

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Sahara (1943, not 2005)

What I thought was a 2005 Matthew McConaughey search for lost gold was, in fact, a 1943 Humphrey Bogart war film. So, now that my expectations were completely blown....not bad. Not epic, and there is reason why this doesn't come up as one of his best or one of the great war films from that era. However, he stayed true to expectations being the gritty, don't give a damn, American leading a mixed group of Brits, Americans, a Frenchman, a Sudanese British, and two prisoners (an Italian and a German) as they set course for the only known water in the area. They get there, have a bit, and are ready to scram from an incoming battalion of several hundred Germans also looking for water. Realizing they may or may not make it home, and that they just bled the well dry, they decided to make a stand and defend the dry hole from the oncoming nazis with the belief that they can hold them off for a few days before the Germans overtake them and discover there is not water - thereby destroying the German moral, and hopefully putting them in too weak of a condition to fight, or to even pursue another water source. No boobs, decent war flick, acceptable use of stereotypes. 5/10.

Casablanca was on Sunday when I got home from the Buc's game...Bogie was a great actor.

Major Strasser(to Rick): What nationality are you?
Bogie: I'm a drunkard!

Epic. He was an original member of the rat pack too.
 

gingerlover

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Nerd Alert

Justice League: Doom - so Syfy channel is showing al lot of the animated movies leading up to the release of the movie Friday. This one is from back in the mid 2000s and features a lot of the voice cast from the cartoon justice league from around that time.

This one is fine for kids. There is blood, but not lots of killing or sex.

Basically Vandall Savage is the bad guy with one bad guy from each of the good guys past. Typical end of the world to start new race type of thing.

The other side of the plot is more interesting. They hacked into the bat computer and stole files he had that showed how to take out each member if they ever turned bad. Batman has to race and save everyone from these things.

It’s a pretty good one that is safe to watch with kids I would say starting around age 7 or 8 if you don’t mind a little blood in the punches.

7/10
 

ThreatMatrix

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Valerian and the city of a 1000 planets. 2017 - Not bad at all. Starring Cara Delevingne (picture below for scale) and some dude named Valerian. Interesting plot. The international space station has become the intergalactic space station with visitors from other worlds docking up to the point that the station has to be pushed out into space were eventually it has become one big planet sized city with aliens from 1000 planets (get it?). Anyway Cara (picture below for scale) and Valerian are agents in the galactic police force or whatever. A peaceful (aren't they all) paradise planet has been accidentally destroyed which drives the plot to it's conclusion. The aliens are kinda Avatar looking so there are lots of bloobs if you are into that kind of thing - and who isn't? :giggity:But Cara (picture below for scale) is the real eye candy in this sci-fi movie full of cotton candy and gum drop visuals. Oh yeah, Cara (picture below for scale) and Valerian have a love story sub plot and Rhianna shows off her acting chops assets about half way through. Many bloobs, no boobs. Gratuitous slime-fu. I laughed, I cried. Joe Bob says check it out.

Cara Delevinge (for scale)
Cara-Delevingne-appears-in-the-spring-2015-advertising-campaign-for-Hong-Kong-based-jewellery-firm-John-Hardy.jpg


Extra credit (Bloobs!)
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gingerlover

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The House - Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler. Has a few other people you recognize and a couple big name people in small rolls that only get a few minutes of screen time.

So they are expecting their daughter to go to college on a scholorship she earned from the town, but the mayor decides to build a swimming pool instead. They try to find the money, but have little savings and can't get a loan. They are like many middle class families these days with money being stretched everywhere, but they could somehow afford what is probably a million dollar home. Anyway back to the movie, they decide to open a casino in their friends house to earn the money and help him with some of his finances as well. Towards the end hi-jinks ensues.

There are two parts to the plot. The first has to do with what you would do for your child, even if in the most absurd ways. The second has to do with parents finding themselves again when their child moves out.

It has some laughs, but is your typical Ferrell movie. Some of it is played out and doesn't hit home like his early stuff. Solid date night movie, but doesn't set the world on fire. 6/10
 

gingerlover

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Justice League - Snuck off like 222 to see this today. Was the most packed I've scene a theater for a 10 AM show in a long time. Gonna get a little detailed on this so hang tight.

the plot is ok. an ancient bad guy (steppenwolf) comes to turn earth into a image of his own planet and enslave humanity. A long time ago he was stopped by an alliance of about everyone and holds a grudge. he has to find these three weapon to make it happen. Most the movie is him collecting these and he's a one track mind kind of guy. not much depth to him. hopefully in the future we get the real big bad he works for in the comics with some more depth to it. so the justice league does something drastic to get help to stop him and turn the tide. That is about it plot wise. The movie moves really fast as well. Without giving away anything I think most people can guess who helps turn the tide in the good guys favor and that was actually fun to watch, although how he got there was way to quick. It is a lot less serious than the other DC movies which was refreshing even if still not as funny as Thor 3 and in my opinion Wonder Woman is still the best DC movie in this universe. Back story really isn't visited much for most of these characters so I assume they will in any stand alone movies.

The cast had its ups and downs so here is their breakdown.

Wonder Woman - I could stare at her all day. She doesn't have to talk at all, but she still plays this part perfect.

Aquaman - Hard character to do. Not much backstory, just here he is type of thing. His future wife is smoking hot though. Played like his later comic appearances.

Batman - Affleck appears to of had the stick he had up his butt in the previous movie removed and actually plays it a lot better this go around. Brings a little bit of fun to it as well as the realism that he's just a regular guy and can get hurt.

Cyborg - This is based on the more serious portrayals in the comics and not his funny Teen Titans time. It was solid and not sure anyone else would have brought more out. Not exactly a character people line up to see. He talks briefly about his back story.

Flash - portrayed the way he should be portrayed. A sarcastic smart ass that at times is the best part of the movie. The only issue with him is at time the special affects for his speed power is a little clunky and odd looking. That's not his fault, but weren't as fun as the scenes from the last two Xmen movies with Quicksilver.

Unnamed character - still plays this part really wooden, but starts to lighten up toward the end. So far to me there is still only one perfect portrayal of this character to date.

It has a few Easter eggs in it that foreshadow superheroes that could be there in the future and some are pretty easy to see.

Stay till the end though. There are two credit scenes. The first is an inside joke between two characters that has been going on for years. The second is a setup for future movies involving bad guys joining forces. One is an actor I would love to not return to this series. The other is a character that is long overdue showing up in a Batman film as the main villain and I look forward to seeing.

It's a solid movie, but I doubt would break into many's top 10 list of these types of movies. No boobs, but a some superheroes cleavage. If you are trying to choose between this or Thor 3 go see thor. 6/10
 

ThreatMatrix

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Atomic Blonde 2017 - Good not great but worth the $5.99 on Amazon. Charlize Theron :naughty: and others. This was advertised as your typical glossy super human secret agent movie but turned out to be a gritty spy movie. Fight scenes are unique in that they are done as continuous tracking shots. So none of those 2 second clips all mashed together so that you can't tell what's going on. Great hand to hand combat and when people get hit they actually sustain damage. There is a long scene near the end where Charlize has to fight her way out that is one of the best fight scenes I've ever seen on film. Plot: Theron is an MI6 agent sent to Berlin circa 1989 to retrieve "the list" of all allied spies in the hands of a baddy who wants to sell it. She's also tasked at finding a double agent believed to be in Berlin. Her contact in Berlin is another MI6 agent who has gone rouge. Along the way she makes contact with a french female agent and they bump clams. Woot woot. The conclusion is a twist as is usual in spy movies. The one negative is that the script is a bit weak which is probably why the movie hasn't gotten good reviews but who cares! Charlize Theron full backal nudity! Many b-cup boobs. American boobs, english boobs, french boobs. Come for the boobs stay for the fights. Gratuitous contusion-fu. Joe Bob says check it out!

Charlize and friend discussing the sociopolitical implications of post cold-war Berlin.
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ThreatMatrix

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Maybe the last person to see Hatefull 8 but that was boring.

Baby Driver was good but not good enough to pay for.
 
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TLB

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1911 (2011)

Jackie Chan, but not a Jackie Chan film. This is commemorating the 100 yr anniversary of the Chinese revolution. Chan plays one main lead for the revolutionary fighters, while Winston Chao plays the other lead who travels to America to raise funds for the revolution, then travels to Europe to prevent funding of the Qing dynasty, and eventually returns to be the first (interim) president of China's new found republic. The film offered a 90 min film (not documentary) presentation of events, shifts in politics and military, international bullying, etc. I would say it was reasonably well done as a film, given the following of our two main characters, the adherence to Chinese history, and the war scenes. However, it was overall fairly thin, and ultimately not worth your time. The history you could get better from 20 min of reading wiki. There was a side boob shot in the opening as a woman is walked to her death through throngs of townspeople and one of them was nursing a baby. Meh. 4/10
 

gingerlover

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The Punisher (Netflix Series) - Not at all what I expected. I expected the Punisher going around getting revenge on people. What we got was a conspiracy theory story that played out over 13 episodes. Wasn't really until the last two episodes that he gets brutal on a couple people, and it was brutal. It was good, just not what I was expecting. The cast is good and you see motives take shape throughout the course of the show. Sets up for a second season, but could also stay at one if they wanted and everything would be tied up.

There are moments that it does get political on a few topics, such as gun control, but even then it feels as if they are playing both sides of the argument. It does have a side story that really could have been left out without it hurting the show. Lots of cursing but not real nudity other than a few butt shots and some hazy side shots from a distance. 7/10
 

TLB

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The Punisher (Netflix Series)

Still very hesitant to look at this given how the role was shown during the Daredevil series. I like the actor, not love, and had a feeling this Punisher series would use season one for a lot of backstory buildup. Normally I like that, but was feeling meh on this...and to have a second season with him feels like it will become trite quickly (pick someone bad, he blows them up, next?).
 

gingerlover

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Still very hesitant to look at this given how the role was shown during the Daredevil series. I like the actor, not love, and had a feeling this Punisher series would use season one for a lot of backstory buildup. Normally I like that, but was feeling meh on this...and to have a second season with him feels like it will become trite quickly (pick someone bad, he blows them up, next?).

It has some backs story but mostly in flashbacks. Never saw the daredevil episodes but seems to pick up from there.
 

TLB

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Master of Horror had a series of one our shows over two seasons. I've come across a few released as stand alones:

Master of Horror: Pelts
Stars Meatloaf as a guy who deals in furs. Has a Pet Cemetery feel to it as a hunter captures a bunch of racoons, sends the skins to Meatloaf who makes a coat of them and talks his favorite hooker into wearing them at a big show. That's about it for the plot. Then as for the 'horror', it seems anyone who does anything to the racoons, or their skins, end up cursed and inflicting a similar demise upon themselves. Sorry if I spoiled it for you, but it's wholly a waste of your time to begin with. Lotsa boobs, lots of them, with a short scene insinuating lesbian action, and there is a scene near the end with face shots of Meatloaf while he finally gets to bang his stripper if he's more your thing. 2/10.

Master of Horror: Incident on and off a mountain road
Storyline is a woman wrecks on a mountain road, stumbles upon 'Moonface' (deranged killer who lives up there) as he's hauling a victim back to his cabin. He takes our lead with him as well. The rest of the story plays out as she has flashbacks to her husband teaching her survival skills, she uses them to fight Moonface, yada yada. The end has a nice little twist to it that is somewhat satisfying, then somewhat overplayed. No boobs, though you'd be wanting some as the lead is fairly attractive. There's some supporting actor work by the guy who was the evil dude in Phantasm - you'll recognize the face, but the role is crap. 3/10.
 

TLB

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Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Robert Downey Jr pulls off a great rendition of the role. It sets up Moriarty very well, has great display of Holmes' logic and deduction, lays in an attractive female opposite Sherlock, sets a very solid Watson (Jude Law) as his right hand and overall delivers quite well. I'm not going to go into great detail, other than to say whatever you'd hope for from a Sherlock Holmes film, this delivers (except boobs, none were seen nor harmed). I'll need to seek out the 2011 Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows as it is the sequel .... but I'm pretty sure I've seen that one already. It appears he is also announced for a third installment in the series to be made later.
 

gingerlover

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The Comedian - Robert Deniro stars as a washed up stand up that was famous in the 70s or 80s for a tv show where he played a Archie Bunker type character. He's later in life and while he still does standup he is forced to relive he previous routines for the fans. He is a dirty brash comic that alienates everyone around him. One night a heckler does something and he assaults him ending up in jail for refusing to apologize. His life goes in two different direction while doing his community service. One way goes after a woman he actually enjoys spending time with and the other chasing his new found fame to stay relevant.

The movie is ok. Has some funny moments and is full of a cast that would have been A+ in the past (Devito, Keitel, etc). lots of cameos from famous comedians and in the end is a descent movie. 5.5/10

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle - I absolutely loved the first one so while this was good I was a little let down. Basically they are attacked and they have to get help from the American Counterparts to stop a drug lord (juliane moore who plays a good psycho, like the type you don't find out until after your married). Characters from the first go away and new ones come in. Channing Tatum says hello, but it appears they are saving him for the 3rd one more. Agent Pena from Narcos is the main american and does a descent job. Elton John plays a good part in it and some of his scenes are the best parts. Has some wit, some cool action scenes (none as good as the church one from the first), but does run a little long. Despite it not living up to the first one its still a really good movie. My only complaint is the end game is still pretty close the first movie. 7/10
 

TLB

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A Night to Remember (1958)

First, start from the acceptance the film was made in 1958 - black and white, limited to no special effects. Then, accept that the film was created around the input from survivors from the actual Titanic. From there, you'll find an excellent film. There are lead characters, but the film isn't about any particular person(s), it is about the overall course of events - the confidence of the passengers and crew upon launch; the poor communications between ships at sea (as Titanic launched flares, sent out Morse signals to ships that weren't manning the communications rooms 24/7, the experimenting with S-O-S which wasn't widely accepted as yet, other ships that try to signal back by Morse lantern signals but were too far to be seen, etc); the stoic acceptance by some passengers compared to the panic of others compared to the crew doing their best to the absolute end. If you ever watch a Titanic film, it should be this one over others, by far. 9/10 (best rating I'll give, I never give a 10 or a 0)
 

TLB

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Cinderella Man (2005)

Disclaimer, I watched this one with the dialogue on close captioned and the audio being commentary from director Opey Griffith. I'd been holding onto this one for a date night....better that I watched it on my own, in part by the gained commentary insight but also in part because I doubt it would have held the wife's attention. Great story about a has been boxer who lost his license after having too many bad fights. Turns out he was fighting with a broken right hand, and he'd never really developed much of a left. Anyway, no license and the great depression setting in meant working the docks when he could, and even taking the earliest form of welfare at one point to keep his wife and kids in a home with food. Acting was great throughout by Russel Crowe, Renee Zelwegger (as his wife), and Paul Giamatti (as his manager). Film was built from a lot of historical newsreals, clippings, and personal accounts and stays fairly true to the real person and what he went through. Presents a man doing what he is good at not out of ego, or for the masses (though they felt he represented them), but to provide for his family through one of the worst eras in American history. We get to look through his wife's eyes as well on what it does to the family and how they survive. Great film through and through, very recommended. 8.5/10
 

ThreatMatrix

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Blade Runner 2049 - The movie we've all been waiting for. I "acquired" a copy of this that some dude recorded on his cell phone. Looking forward to seeing a real copy one day because part of the appeal of the franchise is the cinematography and the pirated copy was lacking in quality. Anyway, it's revealed quickly that Ryan Gosling is an early model replicant (they die) Bladerunner who tracks down later model replicants (that don't die). He discovers a mystery regarding the evolution of replicants that leads him to Harrison Ford. An interesting little twist is that Gosling's girlfriend, Ana De Armas :yum: is a holographic AI. That's right, he can look but can't touch. Which reminds me of a definition of hell I once heard of - full of beautiful naked women, except they're all sewn shut. So he has a mystery to solve, a beautiful GF he can't have and a bytchy replicant boss who is trying to solve the mystery before he does. The movie plods along. Though the concept is interesting the story telling isn't great. Ana De Armas :yum: as a love struck holographic AI is a fresh idea. Boobs. Gratuitous CGI Rachael-fu. Joe Bob says check it out.

Ana De Armas (for scale)
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Captain Sasquatch

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We saw Lady Bird this afternoon and loved it. Next up in the coming weeks are Three Billboards, The Disaster Artist, The Shape of Water, and I'm assuming the latest Star Wars installment.
 

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