Since65
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- Oct 5, 2014
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Met him in person at the Orlando radio station for which I worked at the time. He was one scary dude.
If you do this stuff... you might be a redneck
- Thread starter Gatordiddy
- Start date
Met him in person at the Orlando radio station for which I worked at the time. He was one scary dude.
- Jun 11, 2014
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- Jul 23, 2014
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Alligator Point - circa 1987 at a beach house that belonged to the Dad of a high school friend.
She was dating one of my frat brothers - and he and I and another friend went down and had a great day in her Dad's boat.
It was a fast one too...but it had one issue. You had to set it to full throttle to get it to start and then ease it back as the engine caught up.
We were up late a'drankin' and went to bed around 3-ish in the a.m.
Around 6am a storm was coming up so my buddy woke me up and said we had to get the boat undocked and over to the trailer to get it out of the water.
So I jumped in the boat, put the throttle full forward and turned the key. And of course the motor, which all the previous day had slowly chugged to life, IMMEDIATELY caught the full speed and threw me back in the seat and on to the floor. It was hauling ass next to the dock in parallel.
The dock then did a T-formation and I was heading right into the left part of the t. I jumped up and got in the driver seat and whipped the wheel to the left and just barely missed the upcoming collision with the outer part of the dock. Whew...still hauling ass but at least I missed the..
It was then I realized that there was a very large wooden pylon that was part of some new extension to the dock and...
I hit that bad boy dead center and came to an immediate stop. At least the boat did... I, however, did not. No airbags or seat belts of course.
So I broke through the heavy, thick glass type windshield with my face and ended up in the front of the boat on the floor.
The boat is now doing circles and my buddy is freaking out on the dock.
I manage to get up and then he really freaks when he sees my face. I get the boat under control and then collect myself.
And tell him I'm ok and drive the boat over to the landing to get it on the trailer.
Lovely drive up to Tallahassee to get all stitched up. Gashed my forehead and my upper lip and my wrist but pretty lucky overall it wasn't worse.
Then the $500 bucks to fix the boat was a nice cherry on top.
Haven't driven a boat since.
- Jun 12, 2014
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Ahh yes, you haven't really lived until you've crashed a boat.
When I was in Pensacola going through flight school, the training base was actually up in Milton FL. I shared a house on a small feeder creek that went out to the Blackwater river and I kept an old Hydrostream Viper there. Getting through the winding creek out to the river to ski was a bit of a hassle because it was not only narrow but shallow. There were spots where the skeg on the outboard would drag the bottom.
The best way to negotiate the passage seemed to be to move a little quicker than you would think through the creek and keep the boat turning either left or right through the twisty path in the trees. That way, the motor stayed at an angle rather than straight down, which lifted the fin of the motor away from the sandy bottom. Well, one day while cruising at a pretty good clip through this creek I was in a right hand turn and we hit something, probably a submerged log. The wheel ripped out of my hand and went hard left. That little bat-boat caught an edge and shot to the left so fast it gave us whiplash. The creek was only about 30 feet wide or so, so you can imagine what comes next after doing such a hard turn at speed.
Right into the trees. In fact, not through the trees but smack dab square into a pretty hefty cypress tree. It destroyed the boat, opening a huge hole in the bow and all our skis shot halfway out the hole and were protruding from the front of the boat. My buddy and I launched forward and hit the low windshield railing...I sprained my wrist and he got a gash in the head but not too serious. The motor hit the bottom hard and the prop stopped so fast it broke the gearbox. I was able to get it restarted but couldn't get it into forward gear. I'm not sure I could have driven it home in forward anyway with the big hole in the bow, so I got it in reverse and backed it up about a mile to our house.
Last boat I ever owned.
When I was in Pensacola going through flight school, the training base was actually up in Milton FL. I shared a house on a small feeder creek that went out to the Blackwater river and I kept an old Hydrostream Viper there. Getting through the winding creek out to the river to ski was a bit of a hassle because it was not only narrow but shallow. There were spots where the skeg on the outboard would drag the bottom.
The best way to negotiate the passage seemed to be to move a little quicker than you would think through the creek and keep the boat turning either left or right through the twisty path in the trees. That way, the motor stayed at an angle rather than straight down, which lifted the fin of the motor away from the sandy bottom. Well, one day while cruising at a pretty good clip through this creek I was in a right hand turn and we hit something, probably a submerged log. The wheel ripped out of my hand and went hard left. That little bat-boat caught an edge and shot to the left so fast it gave us whiplash. The creek was only about 30 feet wide or so, so you can imagine what comes next after doing such a hard turn at speed.
Right into the trees. In fact, not through the trees but smack dab square into a pretty hefty cypress tree. It destroyed the boat, opening a huge hole in the bow and all our skis shot halfway out the hole and were protruding from the front of the boat. My buddy and I launched forward and hit the low windshield railing...I sprained my wrist and he got a gash in the head but not too serious. The motor hit the bottom hard and the prop stopped so fast it broke the gearbox. I was able to get it restarted but couldn't get it into forward gear. I'm not sure I could have driven it home in forward anyway with the big hole in the bow, so I got it in reverse and backed it up about a mile to our house.
Last boat I ever owned.
- Jun 23, 2014
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Everybody knows you don't put carp in with bass. They a roe eaters :-).
- Jun 23, 2014
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Great story. I guess the boat was not one of those that float even if cut in half.
- Jun 12, 2014
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- Jun 14, 2014
- 7,388
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Oldie but goodie. Good spot to watch this one again:
It's kinda bad to say....but I laugh my azz off every time I see this.
- Jul 20, 2014
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I know that lake. It was Crosby, Rowell or Sampson. They are all there together west of Starke.
Yall probably went to the Slab for a beer soon after.
I have too many redneck stories to tell but I will get back after work with the best I can remember.
Guns and boats and cooters may all be involved...............
- Jul 20, 2014
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Drag set too tight...........
- Jun 12, 2014
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Bingo.... Sampson.
- Jul 20, 2014
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Beautiful fishing lake............Havent been in awhile. The Slab is on the east side. HUGE rednck hangout..........Ive always wanted to go there on NY eve. Bet I would have taught many that show up there.................
- Mar 14, 2015
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My parents have a 40acre lake in their front yard that's infested with gators. I normally leave them alone but this one wouldn't swim off when you walked near. He would actually come closer, he had my mother worried about walking up and down their drive way for exercise. So I decided he had to go.
How we normally do it is just shoot them off the bank with a 270 or 30-06 and depending on how far out they are we take a little john boat or just walk out there and get them (the lake is only 5 to 6ft deep up around their drive way). Thank god I took the boat this time because when I shot him he rolled over like they always do, so I assumed he was dead. But i had actually shot high and just knocked his eyes out and knocked him unconscious for a few minutes. So by the time I got to him he was fully awake and pissed off, but he wouldn't go under. He just kept swimming around with his head completely up out of the water trying to attack the boat. And all I had in the boat was a paddle and a electrical cord (not sure why it was in there). So I lassoed the bastard with the drop cord and drug him up to the bank. Once I got him close to the shore I was planning on shooting him with my 45. caliber judge, but like an idiot I forgot it only had 4-10 bird shot shells in it. After I unloaded that on him without any success I was starting to panic. So I told one of the a$$ holes on the bank to throw something to me to kill it with, they threw me a claw hammer, with all that was going on we forgot about the 270 in my truck that I had used on him at first. So I'm getting drug around in a boat by a 7.5 ft gator with his eyes shot out with a fcking drop cord trying to finish the job with a claw hammer. Amazingly it only took 2 or 3 licks to finish him off. The best part was I had a business partner in town from Colorado and he had been dying to see a gator for the first time. After I got him onshore and things calmed down the guy asked me "is that how you always kill them"? He's since moved down here but he's never asked me to see a gator again.
So does that make me a red neck?
- Jun 11, 2014
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The magic sunglasses that somehow manage to stay in the boatOldie but goodie. Good spot to watch this one again:
- Jun 12, 2016
- 4,064
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- Jun 12, 2014
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My parents have a 40acre lake in their front yard that's infested with gators. I normally leave them alone but this one wouldn't swim off when you walked near. He would actually come closer, he had my mother worried about walking up and down their drive way for exercise. So I decided he had to go.
How we normally do it is just shoot them off the bank with a 270 or 30-06 and depending on how far out they are we take a little john boat or just walk out there and get them (the lake is only 5 to 6ft deep up around their drive way). Thank god I took the boat this time because when I shot him he rolled over like they always do, so I assumed he was dead. But i had actually shot high and just knocked his eyes out and knocked him unconscious for a few minutes. So by the time I got to him he was fully awake and pissed off, but he wouldn't go under. He just kept swimming around with his head completely up out of the water trying to attack the boat. And all I had in the boat was a paddle and a electrical cord (not sure why it was in there). So I lassoed the bastard with the drop cord and drug him up to the bank. Once I got him close to the shore I was planning on shooting him with my 45. caliber judge, but like an idiot I forgot it only had 4-10 bird shot shells in it. After I unloaded that on him without any success I was starting to panic. So I told one of the a$$ holes on the bank to throw something to me to kill it with, they threw me a claw hammer, with all that was going on we forgot about the 270 in my truck that I had used on him at first. So I'm getting drug around in a boat by a 7.5 ft gator with his eyes shot out with a fcking drop cord trying to finish the job with a claw hammer. Amazingly it only took 2 or 3 licks to finish him off. The best part was I had a business partner in town from Colorado and he had been dying to see a gator for the first time. After I got him onshore and things calmed down the guy asked me "is that how you always kill them"? He's since moved down here but he's never asked me to see a gator again.
So does that make me a red neck?
terrific story! I was rolling.
