Presidential Beatdown Corona Crush!

[BNAG8R]

IKE -VS- TYLER

In a stunning upset, Tyler defeated Carter in what can only be described as “The Shyt”. Eisenhower, who was in the audience that night and witnessed Carter’s demise, prepared appropriately.

As we remember, Tyler was a weasel lawyer who never did an athletic thing in his life, and suffered from chronic diarrhea. A real catch, ladies.

Ike was a tough kid, and a star football player at West Point. His claim to fame was tackling Jim Thorpe in a game (rumor has it he basically pancaked him...but I digress). One thing that wasn’t as well known is that Ike loved another sport then, one that would guide him until nearly his dying days...and that is golf.

Ike wore his golf spikes into the ring, and when Tyler’s bowels again let loose, Ike’s spikes kept his feet firmly planted, where he rained down blow after blow and Tyler quickly tapped out in defeat.

IKE WINS!

 

[BNAG8R]

HARRISON -VS- JEFFERSON

In the “Battle of the slave humpers”, we pit the sophisticated and intelligent, but precocious Jefferson with Harrison, an ambitious military man.

Harrison, best known for being the biggest ass hole to our beautiful Native American population in the Midwest, also had the advantage of actually have dealt with conflict bigger than what drapes match the rugs at Monticello.

Jefferson’s intelligence and slave-wrestling experience aren’t enough to overcome Harrison’s well established ability to be a douchebag, and Harrison makes quick work of Jefferson in the first round.

What’s left of a Native American nation...weeps.

HARRISON WINS!

 

[Captain Sasquatch]

Here is the updated bracket with one region to go before the Sweet 16!

 

[78]

You need to rename this March to May Madness.

 

[SeabeeGator]

Tell that to a UDT/SEAL/SWCC, SeaBee, or green-side Corpsman, b1tch.
HMCM, USN (Ret)

You might be my new favorite poster. So much win in this statement. People have no idea about expeditionary side of the navy. Don’t forget the riverines, eod, etc!

 

[SeabeeGator]

If youve never touched a rifle or pistol, you arent military.

Maybe you can have the Coast Guard to teach you how to shoot.

Believe it or not, an enormous majority of the Navy has shot their pistol/rifle. All of the expeditionary side has and we are trained in CSW as well. Not that we could ever prove it but I’d wager that I could break a M2 down quicker than you, my friend...

 

[Captain Sasquatch]

Believe it or not, an enormous majority of the Navy has shot their pistol/rifle. All of the expeditionary side has and we are trained in CSW as well. Not that we could ever prove it but I’d wager that I could break a M2 down quicker than you, my friend...

He's an idiot, just ignore him.

 

[SeabeeGator]

Yeah, so you can get back to the hotel. Freaking "Chair Force".
(I kid, I kid.)

That per deim though...

 

[Swamp Donkey]

Not that we could ever prove it but I’d wager that I could break a M2 down quicker than you, my friend...

You ever touch a firearm that wasnt bolt to a boat?

Quick drawing your shipmates' "gun" doesnt count.

 

[78]

Law, did you even serve in the military?

 

[SeabeeGator]

You ever touch a firearm that wasnt bolt to a boat?

Quick drawing your shipmates' "gun" doesnt count.

Yes, literally days ago (M4 and M9). Seabees don’t ride on boats often - hence “expeditionary”... I’ve never even ridden on one...

 

[crosscreekcooter]

From a short paper on the history of Wakula
http://www.littletownmart.com/fdh/st-marks.htm
After having his supplies sent to St. Marks, Andrew Jackson left Fort Gadsden on the Apalachicola River and headed over this way in 1818 wiping out (completely) every Indian village in his path. His band of 1500 soldiers and 1800 Indians went through the Fowl towns of the Miccosukee area and down the St. Marks River destroying some 7 or 8 towns. They also took some 3000 bushels of corn and 1000 head of the Indian's cattle.
Jackson then took possession of the Spanish Fort. While there he had one man hanged and another shot by a firing squad. Jackson Claimed the Spanish property for the United States and headed out for Pensacola.

 

[Jbossgator8]

This thread has stalled. Let's jump ahead. Washington vs Jackson in the Final 4. Washington WINS!! Lincoln vs Teddy in the other side of the bracket. Lincoln WINS!! Washington vs Lincoln in the Finale. In a bloody battle for the ages. LINCOLN WINS and is the Presidential Beatdown Champion!! Next up, the Food Challenge. Who will win in the next new bracket? Steak? Lobster? Pizza? Tofu? We shall see...

 

[GatorJ]

This thread had so much potential.

 

[Captain Sasquatch]

We can knock out a bunch more tomorrow if @BNAG8R is available.

 

[BNAG8R]

yes

Winner.

Prepare thyselves...the battle return shortly.

 

[Swamp Donkey]

March Madness, huh?

 

[5-Star Finger]

 

[Zambo]

The tourney should be by invitation only, just like the big dance. No need to have 45 presidents duking it out. 8 from the post war era vs. 8 from the pre-war era, start with whole shebang with those 16. We all know William Henry Harrison, Zach Taylor, Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter aren't winning jack squat so no need to waste time with them. Why am I even babbling about this, its too late. Its not like we're doing this again.

Can we just skip to the great 8? Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Teddy, FDR, Kennedy, Reagan, and either Clinton or Obama in a libtard play-in match.

 

[BNAG8R]

The tourney should be by invitation only, just like the big dance. No need to have 45 presidents duking it out. 8 from the post war era vs. 8 from the pre-war era, start with whole shebang with those 16. We all know William Henry Harrison, Zach Taylor, Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter aren't winning jack squat so no need to waste time with them. Why am I even babbling about this, its too late. Its not like we're doing this again.

Can we just skip to the great 8? Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Teddy, FDR, Kennedy, Reagan, and either Clinton or Obama in a libtard play-in match.

You should really keep up. FDR was decapitated by Jackson. It was all over the news.