The 2017 Fulmer Cup

Gator2222

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Nov 25, 2016
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It's the offseason and there's a scarcity of real daily college football news to report. To pass the time until the first kickoff of the next season the Fulmer cup was created. Every team has players that skirt the law. We may as well award points.

For those who are not familiar with the Fulmer Cup, it is an annual award given to the college football team with the most offseason arrests. The award is named after Tennessee's Coach Phil Fulmer who is legendary for unleashing his horde of Vols on the city of Knoxville every offseason in the 90's. His teams tirelessly ransacked the town, assaulted all in sight and consumed literally every drug in existence on a daily basis. Phat Phil is now memorialized forever for his lackadaisical attitude towards crime.

The clock starts ticking the moment the national championship game is over and scoring ends at the opening kickoff of the new season. Only documented crimes committed by currently enrolled players in Division One football programs may qualify for an award. It doesn't matter if the charges are later reduced or dropped, points are awarded on the initial arrest. To be awarded points there must be a court record, arrest record, or news article describing the citation, charges, and/or arrest. No arrest, citation, or charges: no points.

Points are awarded as follows:

Points Crime Notes
25 Cannibalism Bonus infraction if NCAA guidelines on portion size are exceeded
20 Murder
15 Attempted Murder Partial credit for incomplete
9 Bestiality Baaaaad...It's a form of rape, really, no matter how much the goat has had to drink.
6-8 Sex Crimes
5 Grand Larceny Theft on a level so outrageous it demands to be called a 'caper'
4 Possession with Intent to Sell Including just having too many drugs on you in the first place
4 Vehicle Theft
3-4 Misdemeanor/Felony Assault
3 DUI/DWI/OWI "Driving through houses drunk" charges may earn extra credit
3 Miscellaneous felony
3 Possession (Non-Weed)
2-4 Domestic Violence
2 Underage Drinking Rules is rules
2 Marijuana Use/Possession The player has to be cited for it, so this gives certain states a built-in exemption
1 Assorted Petty Misdemeanors/Citations
1 Repeat offenders
1 Teamwork
? Miscellaneous Bonus Crimes with flair, pizzazz or obvious pointworthiness
? Other Any other violations considered on an individual basis by the voting committee

Ellis T. Jones III Award
Prior to the summer of 2006, Ellis T. Jones III was a WR/DB of little reknown, enrolled at San Jose State, a school of even less reknown. One stun gun and double-digit felony arrests (and convictions) later, he became a Fulmer Cup god. The Ellis T. Jones III Award is earned by the player who single handedly earns the most points for his university. However, the "Ellis T. Jones III Rule" states that no program that accumulates points based solely on the misdeeds of a single player is eligible for the Fulmer Cup.

Jones was charged with 13 felony counts including five counts of robbery, four counts of assault for using a Taser gun on some of his victims and one count of kidnapping to commit robbery for allegedly locking one victim in the trunk of a car. He faces up life in prison with the possibility of parole, according to Leonard James, a deputy district attorney with Santa Clara County.

Five counts robbery: 3 x 5=15 points
Four counts of assault with taser: 3 x 4 points=12 points
One count kidnapping: 4 points

For a one man grand total of 31 points in just four days of furious nefariousness.

Switzer Slam
The "Switzer Slam" is awarded to any program that wins the Fulmer Cup, national championship and has a Heisman trophy winner all in the same year. Auburn is the only team to have ever achieved the Switzer Slam, doing so in 2011.

The Coach Mike Haywood "Leading by Example" Award
Named in honor of Pitt head coach Mike Hayward who was arrested for felony domestic violence in front of a minor a mere 15 days after being hired. Given to the coach or administrator who earns the most points and/or gets fired in the most embarrassing fashion. This award does not have to be awarded annually and is completely up to the Committee.

The Paul Dee Memorial Award for High Profile Compliance
Paul Dee became infamous for being the Committee on Infractions chairman for USC's much-publicized case in the summer of 2010 involving former stars Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo. It was Dee who, in announcing some of the stiffest penalties of the last 20 years closed with the reminder that "high-profile athletes demand high-profile compliance." It was later found that under his tenure as athletic director, Miami had also been the center of major improper benefits. Awarded to the conference that, through the fortuitousness of group effort, has the highest point total. "High-profile athletes demand high-profile compliance."

Harvey Updyke Fan Award
Currently unofficial, but an award to track fans who commit crimes in the name of their team.

Past Winners
2016 Colorado
2015 Rutgers
2014 Cal Poly
2013 Vanderbilt (Never officially awarded. Can be considered vacated.)
2012 Arkansas
2011 Auburn
2010 Georgia
2009 South Florida
2008 Alabama
2007 Illinois
2006 Marshall

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheFulmerCup/wiki/index
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2006/08/01/sjsu-may-have-taken-fulmer-cup-lead
http://edsbs.wikia.com/wiki/Fulmer_Cup

Edit: If any mods can fix the spacing in the points section...please do
 
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Gator2222

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They have not officially updated the points in the Fulmer Cup yet this offseason, but here is a list of arrests so far.

Monmouth University – 3 Arrests/Citations/Charges - Current unofficial leader of the standings
McMurry University – 3 Arrests/Citations/Charges
University of Kansas– 3 Arrests/Citations/Charges
University of Louisville – 3 Arrests/Citations/Charges
Daniel Webster College – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
Mississippi State University – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
Syracuse University – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
University of Alabama – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
University of Charleston – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
University of Oklahoma – 2 Arrests/Citations/Charges
Auburn University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Baylor University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Boise State University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Bowling Green State University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Colorado State University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Florida Gulf Coast University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Iowa State University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Marshall University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Michigan State University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Ohio University – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
Texas Christian University (TCU) – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
University of North Carolina at Charlotte – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
University of Oregon – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
University of Tennessee – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga – 1 Arrest/Citation/Charge

http://arrestnation.com/2017-stats/
 
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Gator2222

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Perhaps the greatest Fulmer Cup story ever involves Oregon State Defensive Lineman Ben Siegert in March 2005. Siegert got drunk one night and decided he needed company. He got in his truck and drove to campus where he stole a live ram that was being used in a study on homosexuality in sheep. When the police pulled Seigert over he had a blood alcohol level of .14 and the gay ram in the back of his truck. There was no word on whether the ram consented to the date or was kidnapped.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2005/04/03/gay_sheep_update
 
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MJMGator

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We don't even compete for that title anymore. :sigh:
 

Gator2222

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We don't even compete for that title anymore. :sigh:

It's been a while. However, Gators OL Ronnie Wilson did win the Ellis T. Jones III Award in 2007.

"University of Florida offensive lineman Ronnie Matthew Wilson was arrested early Thursday on charges of aggravated assault, simple battery and use or display of a concealed weapon during the commission of a felony, a Gainesville Police arrest report stated."

Wilson got in a traffic dispute and decided to settle it by retrieving a semi automatic rifle from the trunk of his car and opening fire.

"Wilson later told police he took the rifle out of his trunk and fired one shot into the air because he wanted the other man "to know how it felt to be scared," the report stated."

"Mission accomplished, sir! Wilson probably eats pancakes with jam, honey, and syrup just to get the job done, since being a screaming, Stonehenge-sized football player in a traffic altercation evidently wasn't enough for him in the fear evocation department."

Wilson earned a very respectable 9 total points for his armed rampage.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2007/04/05/fulmer-cup-update-how-champions-do-road-rage
 

Gator2222

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In 2010 FSU LB Nigel Carr was determined to break a record and have the Ellis T. Jones III award renamed the Nigel Carr Award. He almost succeeded.

"Jones tallied ten felonies in total in his epic taser/kidnapping/assault spree, a total that created the honorary Ellis T. Jones Award for outstanding individual accomplishment in the field of Fulmer Cupdom. Few men have come close to even approaching those heights since, with only Jimmy Johns and Trent Pupello coming close to equalling the work put in by Jones in the art of being a one-man crime spree.

We may now add another face to the Mt. Rushmore of student-athlete miscreantism: Florida State's Nigel Carr. Carr began his scoring last week with a citation for marijuana possession on the 22nd. Warming up is important if you want to prevent injury: stretches the ligaments, heats up the tendons, making everything more pliant for the hard work to come. Carr, as we mentioned earlier, is obviously a professional, as demonstrated by his preparation for bigger things.

Having loosened things up, Carr then went completely klepto-ape****.

According to Tallahassee police, Carr burglarized a sport-utility vehicle parked off Hayden Road, across the street from Doak Campbell Stadium. Police say Carr broke into the vehicle, a white Toyota, and stole a "book bag" that contained the victim's "purse and other items," including a sweater. Carr then allegedly dumped some of the stolen contents into a nearby dumpster. In addition, police say Carr stole the victim's credit card, which an officer located on the floorboard of a white car that Carr was allegedly driving. Further, police say Carr is the suspect in the burglary of another vehicle near the Florida State campus.

That second one involves the theft of a checkbook from a car, and could result in still more charges for the linebacker, something made quite likely since they have video of the incident in question."

"Carr received two counts of auto burglary, criminal mischief, credit card theft and fraud. All of these are felony counts, and awarded three points each. Add in the marijuana possession charge from last week and the bonus point for sheer aggression/achievement, and Carr pulls down an astonishing seventeen points in a single run."

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2010/7/26/1588425/fulmer-cupdate-good-lord-nigel
 

CGgater

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Pure fiction. Everyone knows that f$u and bama players don't get arrested unless they are outside a 100 mile radius of their campus. And even then, it's a bit iffy until completely outside state lines.
 

Gator2222

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Pure fiction. Everyone knows that f$u and bama players don't get arrested unless they are outside a 100 mile radius of their campus. And even then, it's a bit iffy until completely outside state lines.

In 2008 Alabama LB Jimmy Johns (no, not the restaurant) won the Ellis T. Jones III Award for racking up a very impressive 15 total points. The Tuscaloosa Police Department charged Johns with multiple felony counts of trafficking cocaine. Seems somewhat appropriate that he had just switched from running back to linebacker.
 

Swamp Donkey

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Maybe they should make an Urban Leyer alumni crime award. We would be very scrong in that category.
 
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CGgater

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In 2008 Alabama LB Jimmy Johns (no, not the restaurant) won the Ellis T. Jones III Award for racking up a very impressive 15 total points. The Tuscaloosa Police Department charged Johns with multiple felony counts of trafficking cocaine. Seems somewhat appropriate that he had just switched from running back to linebacker.

Switching positions typically indicates a player who can't crack the 2-deep. Easy candidate to be the sacrificial lamb to:

1. Make room for another 5* and...
2. Show how "tough" saban is on team discipline.

 

Gator2222

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Georgia finished tied for 2nd in the 2016 Fulmer Cup standings. This year they decided to get out of the gate early.

Georgia WR Riley Ridley arrested for marijuana possession
https://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/g...orgia-receiver-arrested-marijuana-possession/

It's not a strong start as this misdemeanor is only worth 2 points, but Ridley got them on the board nonetheless. I think he should get extra credit for this: “Ridley explained that he was an athlete and he requested to call someone to help the traffic stop ‘go a whole lot smoother.’” LOL. The cops were not amused.

https://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/g...sked-police-consider-playing-career-arrested/
 

MidwestChomp

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"I don't know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended."

- Steve Spurrier
 

MidwestChomp

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Last year it all started with 2222

azfar+mian.png
 

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