What's the proper respectful response to Donkey's opening newbie insult?

What's the Proper Response to Swamp Law's Opening Challenge Insult?

  • Turn tail and run away from the Mighty Donkey never to return again

    Votes: 2 5.9%
  • Ignore the post and hope The Donkey never picks on me again

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • Try and laugh it off and admit I'm completely intimidated by the Great Law

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Respond with a serious rebuttal ala JHByrd

    Votes: 1 2.9%
  • Tell the Mighty Counselor that that's "Dr. Pvssy to you Ambulance Chaser"

    Votes: 30 88.2%

  • Total voters
    34

Tay Bang

I might have been mean to Byrd
Lifetime Member
Jul 25, 2018
3,027
3,453
I knew if I was brash enough on my first day of Gatorchatter I would receive the Freshman/Newbie challenge from Swamp Donkey. Sure enough:

"I'm more concerned you are a pvssy who is afraid of airsoft plastic bullets."

So here are my options as I see them:
1. Turn tail and run away, begging Ox to delete my account and never return again.
2. Ignore his post and hide in the corner, hoping he never picks on me again, posting occasionally in non-controversial fashion.
3. Make a bad joke in my response, admitting I am completely intimidated by the Mighty Donkey.
4. Double down on my original post in a very serious fashion, ala JHByrd, defending my position with a trained arguer with no sense on my part of the big picture Sports Bar atmosphere of Ox's creation.
5. Tell him "That's Dr. Pvssy to you Ambulance Chaser, we sit around at parties and laugh at the pathetic existence of society's true parasites, how we wouldn't be caught dead in a social situation with an ambulance chaser, what a short-cut these posers take with only 7 years of training and that we could literally piss on the Personal Injury Attorney Levin School of Law from Shands Hospital.

Would like some opinions. I want to be respectful and not offend any of the regulars on my first trip into the Sports Bar. I simply hope to just to fit in around here with a few pints of craft beer.
 

Theologator

Enchanter
Lifetime Member
Aug 11, 2015
8,248
15,806
I knew if I was brash enough on my first day of Gatorchatter I would receive the Freshman/Newbie challenge from Swamp Donkey. Sure enough:

"I'm more concerned you are a pvssy who is afraid of airsoft plastic bullets."

I simply hope to just to fit in around here with a few pints of craft beer.

1. Make a video of yourself getting shot by an airsoft rifle and taking it like a man.

2. Make sure your “craft beer” isn’t infused with some fruity flavor.

3. Nip off that man bun, trim the prospector’s beard and ditch the skinny jeans

4. Never, ever start a thread to gather advice on how to respond to an anonymous board poster. You’re showing weakness, which will only draw more trouble. He’s hilarious, insightful and whacked. Roll with it.
 

SeabeeGator

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Jan 2, 2018
7,032
10,100
F it, go with 5. Double down, increase the insults. It’s like prison- pick a fight with the baddest mother f’er (or in this case, highest volume poster) and demonstrate your dominance.
 

Gatordiddy

Member in good standing
Lifetime Member
Jul 23, 2014
11,719
26,477
F it, go with 5. Double down, increase the insults. It’s like prison- pick a fight with the baddest mother f’er (or in this case, highest volume poster) and demonstrate your dominance.

Zackly-
Law likes someone with a spinal column
Just have a good/witty response in however you decide to reply.
In other words - don’t suck.
He can smell blood in the water
 

divits

Founding Member
A Muffin of the Studly Variety
Lifetime Member
Jun 13, 2014
12,702
22,997
Founding Member
Number 4. Definitely number 4.

And if you really want to get under his skin I suggest you adopt the same kind of finely tuned and oh so cutting trash talk that JHByrd employs. There have been times when a wicked lash from JByrd's mighty key strokes have left Law whimpering, demoralized and incontinent. No one is able to find his opponent's weakest spot and exploit it with a well executed put down better than the Byrd. His repartee is deadly and his vault of comebacks is legion.
 

CaseyGator

Ox’s Favorite Poster
Moderator
Sep 13, 2016
882
3,350
Option 6: Understand that sparkles is here to be entertained and doesn’t actually give a f*ck what you do.
 
Last edited:

Swamp Donkey

Founding Member
7-14 vs P5 Fire Stricklin First
Lifetime Member
Jun 9, 2014
78,161
109,977
Founding Member
Yikes. It appears that Tay has genuinely gotten under Law's skin extremely fast. That takes him up several notches in my book.

P.S. - My book is the only one that really matters.
He isnt under my skin. I have no "under my skin", at least for internet forum people.

Trollish names however are assumed to be trolls.
 

Swamp Donkey

Founding Member
7-14 vs P5 Fire Stricklin First
Lifetime Member
Jun 9, 2014
78,161
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Option 6: Understand that sparkles is here to be entertained and doesn’t actually give a f*ck what you do.
How is this not apparent to everyone else by now?

This is my dont have to pretend to be an adult place and my screw w Corch bc he really fets silly place.

Oh yeah, and Gator football. If that is ever interesting again.
 

BNAG8R

Founding Member
I don’t care
Moderator
Jun 10, 2014
4,098
12,618
Founding Member
divits said:
... whimpering, demoralized and incontinent.

A true snort occurred right at this point. In fact, I laughed at the whole thread. Everyone gets a like.

Well...all but one.
 

Swamp Donkey

Founding Member
7-14 vs P5 Fire Stricklin First
Lifetime Member
Jun 9, 2014
78,161
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Number 4. Definitely number 4.

And if you really want to get under his skin I suggest you adopt the same kind of finely tuned and oh so cutting trash talk that JHByrd employs. There have been times when a wicked lash from JByrd's mighty key strokes have left Law whimpering, demoralized and incontinent. No one is able to find his opponent's weakest spot and exploit it with a well executed put down better than the Byrd. His repartee is deadly and his vault of comebacks is legion.
Ah yes.... the "I know you are but what am I" defense. Works every time.
 

Sec14Gator

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Oct 8, 2017
2,157
5,523
Get the guy who knocked out Tyree Cleveland to respond for you.

Also, stop betting on the Gators to cover.

P.S. Shut up about “discounts”
 

Concrete Helmet

Hook, Line, and Sinker
Lifetime Member
Jul 29, 2014
22,047
23,183
I'm speaking from over 4 years experience so if I miss anything I'll edit and add later...

Respond in an intelligent manner even if he tells you to go fornicate with your mother, drink bleach, play in traffic or anything else that would cause you harm....

Never, ever and I mean ever complain about Butters chasing off Grier....

Never ever try to point out that Grier took Creatine and not Cocaine....

Never ever give any facts or statements that prove Grier didn't demand a starting position...

Never for the love of your existence here claim that coach's/players fake injuries to get a Medical Hardship Waiver at a future point in case they need it.....

Never bring up the notion that it is probably 10X harder to win at Arkansas than UF....

Never mention that he will occasionally go back 2 or 3 years to "edit" his post and dislike more of yours…..

Never ever, ever, ever ask advice for storing your shotgun...…

Never admit that you enjoy drinking lots of lite beer....

Never admit that you're under 5'10" in height.....sorry URG....

If all of this fails you can try sending him booze, preferably Rum and Scotch. You can also go into the chatbox when we are down by 21 or struggling with Mid Northwest Missouri State deep in the 3rd quarter and laugh hysterically at some pretty colorful commentary...Then stick around after the game when Ox gives him a quarterly 3 day vacation. You can also expect some dislikes from some of the most obscure members who only show up during these periods.....

If all that fails then call Ox and have your account deleted then mail back your GC T shirt..
 

TheDouglas78

Founding Member
Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Jun 12, 2014
16,292
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Founding Member
Number 4. Definitely number 4.

And if you really want to get under his skin I suggest you adopt the same kind of finely tuned and oh so cutting trash talk that JHByrd employs. There have been times when a wicked lash from JByrd's mighty key strokes have left Law whimpering, demoralized and incontinent. No one is able to find his opponent's weakest spot and exploit it with a well executed put down better than the Byrd. His repartee is deadly and his vault of comebacks is legion.

fcking Divits crushed it
 

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