Gatorchatter: Tell us about your Bidet experience

Ox has influenced many of us to purchase a bidet. What best describes your experience using one?

  • Would never buy, even under doctors orders with lethally painful hemorrhoids. I'm not a fayg.

    Votes: 5 31.3%
  • Wouldn't buy, I'm afraid I'd derive some unholy pleasure from using it and question if I was a fayg.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I use one, not because I enjoy it, (I'm not a fayg) but out of a desire for frugality and hygiene.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I use one, and I don't care what people say. I let it get all up in there for a makeshift enema.

    Votes: 4 25.0%
  • I bought a used one on eBay for cheap. It was clogged, but I cleaned it with my wife's toothbrush

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I got the deluxe model. Heated water, gentle lapping front and back that simulates a tongue. I came.

    Votes: 3 18.8%
  • In before move to Political Forum

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Mia Hamm Sammich

    Votes: 4 25.0%

  • Total voters
    16

PastyStoole

Founding Member
Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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Jun 12, 2014
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So many of us on this board now use a bidet, much of that has influenced by ox and his success story with one. Tell us about your experience, and don't hold back.
 

QueenCityGator

University of Florida Alumnus
Aug 12, 2014
1,582
398
My first glance at this title made me think the writer made a typo and meant to say "Tell us about your Biden experience".

My experience is probably different from most of yours :)
 

grengadgy

Founding Member
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Lifetime Member
Jun 11, 2014
8,013
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My first glance at this title made me think the writer made a typo and meant to say "Tell us about your Biden experience".

My experience is probably different from most of yours :)
So you found a bidet that looks like a dildo?
 

Zambo

Founding Member
Poo Flinger
Lifetime Member
Jun 12, 2014
12,898
32,444
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After the first few times, I started getting excited about taking a poop. Then one day in my haste I accidentally engaged the thing in high power setting before the turd was all the way out. Big mistake. Other than that my bunghole is so clean I'm tempted to show it off to total strangers.
 

divits

Founding Member
A Muffin of the Studly Variety
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Jun 13, 2014
12,702
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.....my bunghole is so clean I'm tempted to show it off to total strangers.

:jerkstore:

Tempted?!?! Who the hell do you think you're fooling? Word is your neighbors say you've become insufferable.

tenor.gif
 

crosscreekcooter

Founding Member
Cunning Linguist; RIP
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Jun 11, 2014
11,023
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Got a pretty good deal on this model, it's a real cadillac. Considering one for the guest bath, if so I'll probably mount a hidden camera just for laughs.
Amazon product

WOODBRIDGE BDI-01 Elongated Bidet Seat with Air Dryer and Stainless-Steel Nightlight | Nozzle Oscillation
heated seat, warm water, heated dryer and night light
 
Last edited:

GatorFL

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,664
2,824
I have a Kohler bidet seat. It washes and dries my ass and has a deodorizer built in. Americans are missing out on a great Asian and European standard.
 

G8trwood

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Nov 29, 2015
4,084
6,040
Lost my step dad over the holidays, during his last few days I had to carry him to the bathroom. He was only semi coherent. While in there he starts hoarsely asking for water over and over, so I go to the kitchen and get him a glass of water. He looks at me and won’t take the glass. My mom starts laughing hysterically and says no he wants the remote for the bidet...... he must have mashed the button 20 times and then smiled and said okay....

A little macabre, but we all laughed and it is my only bidet story :)
 

Bushmaster

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Jul 27, 2018
3,242
6,970
I have never seen one in operation. Those options though are hilarious.
 

Swamp Donkey

Founding Member
7-14 vs P5 Fire Stricklin First
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Jun 9, 2014
78,161
109,974
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Got a pretty good deal on this model, it's a real cadillac. Considering one for the guest bath, if so I'll probably mount a hidden camera just for laughs.
Amazon product

WOODBRIDGE BDI-01 Elongated Bidet Seat with Air Dryer and Stainless-Steel Nightlight | Nozzle Oscillation
heated seat, warm water, heated dryer and night light

No dildo?
 

AuggieDosta

I Don't Re Member
Lifetime Member
Aug 1, 2018
7,448
11,992
Have had one since December and love it.

When the chink-flu hit, and crazy Americans made a run on TP, we were sitting pretty with no understanding of the need to buy that sshhitty product in bulk.
 

DocZaius

Founding Member
Return to Monke
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Jun 23, 2014
8,979
33,175
Founding Member
Just bought one. Game-changer. Wife is skeptical and hasn’t tried it yet, but that may be because I keep calling it the “Buttman Industries Ass-Blaster 5000.”
 

heavychevy

water bottle holder
Sep 8, 2014
984
1,086
My ass is too hairy for one, plus the thought of it makes me question why you guys want your butts so inviting. If I used one it’d have to come with one of those blowers that turn on after a gas station car wash
 

Detroitgator

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Jul 15, 2014
28,226
46,727
My ass is too hairy for one, plus the thought of it makes me question why you guys want your butts so inviting. If I used one it’d have to come with one of those blowers that turn on after a gas station car wash
Butt see... now yer thinking about it... that's how the ghey starts!
 

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