Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

TheDouglas78

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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997): With Godzilla vs Kong being released early on HBOMax then it was in theaters thought I should brush up on the old Mortal Kombat movies. I had only seen the first one, which I saw in theaters in the 90s. Never took the time to see the sequel, and now having seen it I'm glad I didn't. It is on HBOMax.... The movie picks up right after the first one concludes, but they have obviously changed the actors outside of Liu Kang and Katana. And as bad as the acting was in the first movie (but who was watching it for that) this is much worse. The story line starts with Shao Khahn (had to look it up) deciding to break the rules of Mortal Kombat and merge Earth with Outworld (?). The "heroes" have to find help and then attack the temple (I guess). There is a number of fight sequences that appear to that the two fighters were filmed at two different times and a lot of slow motion flipping. No blood, even when sliced by a sword... it's a mortal fuching kombat with no blood. The special effects are better than the original, but when they are bad it's like special effects from the Masters of the Universe movie in the 80s. Then something about the old gods and really dumb putting the plot together. A lot of name dropping and cameos by characters from the game, but I'm not really sure who or what side they were on in most cases. According to IMDB there were 6 writers accredited to this piece of schit and it shows. I give it a solid 2/10.

Threat Matrix matrix: had some decent looking wimens in the movie, but no boobs, butt, or bush.

Deet Diagram: no homeless ass was seen in this film.
 

TLB

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Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

I may have watched the early ones, I never really played the game so I can't say it meant anything to me...and I admit I watch a lot of bad movie crap. I see teasers for a new one coming out, but I find myself questioning who relates to the characters in this day and age.
 

TheDouglas78

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Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020): Continuing on my Mortal Kombat viewing (HBOMax), this is an animated movie that focuses mostly on the character Scorpion. The main three good characters the same as in original live action movie (Lui Kang, Sonya, and Johnny Cage) with the thunder god Raidan as their guide. The movie starts off with Scorpion (before he is Scorpion) teaching his kid, then his whole family gets killed brutally by Sub-Zero and his clan of ninjas. From the beginning it's more brutal and graphic than either of the two live-action movies. Then a group of fighters go to a island in "Outworld" and you meet a three/four more characters from the games. Then the tournament stops and the plot kind of gets shaky. The action is well done from an animation standpoint, and they use the "X-ray vision" that is used in their more current games (haven't played the last one or last two). This was a lot more enjoyable and shorter than the live action sequel I just watched as well. I give this one a solid 7/10 due to expectations.

ThreatMatrix matrix: No animated boobs, butts, or bush.

Deet Diagram: No homeless ass is drank from in this movie.
 

TheDouglas78

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I may have watched the early ones, I never really played the game so I can't say it meant anything to me...and I admit I watch a lot of bad movie crap. I see teasers for a new one coming out, but I find myself questioning who relates to the characters in this day and age.
The first one in the 90s was fun, I played the first two games. Then picked it back up in 2013 roughly when I was on travel and playstation gave it away free in ps plus. Played the one after that one, which actually had a storyline which was still pretty garbage. It can be done right, I mean the original game is inspired by a bruce lee movie. But is has to be with someone that excepts the stupidity of it. And warner bros doesn't have the best track record (ie. DCU)
 

TheDouglas78

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Faster (2010) : I had watched this on rental back in 2010/11 and watched it against today on Vudu enjoying it. The movie is decently acted and you see some people that have been in more recent things. The main character are The Driver (Dwayne Johnson), Cop (Billy Bob Thornton), and Cicero (main dectective, Carla Gugino). The Driver gets released from prison gets into a muscle car which has a gun waiting for him and go on to avenge his brother's death. There isn't a whole lot of dialog in the movie, and not a lot of wasted sequences (only 97 minutes long). Its an enjoyable watch, where as the movie unfolds, so does the full story behind the events before The Driver goes to prison. It's a well made movie that was obviously on a limited budget. It is an enjoyable 8/10.

ThreatMatrix matrix: No boobs, butts, or bush are seen. Even though they had two really good setups for them, especially with a scene in a gentlemen's club.

Deet Diagram: no homeless ass was drank from in this film.
 
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GatorJ

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The new Mortal Kombat Movie

That movie sucked donkey balls.

almost as bad as the new Godzilla Kong movie. Which I couldn’t even finish.
 

ThreatMatrix

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Nobody (2021). Amazon. Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul) is a former "auditor" i.e. hired killer, who has retired and is leading the boring family life. You can guess the rest. Events transpire that require him to go up against Russian mobsters. It's a bit over the top with Odenkirk taking out gangs of assassins single handedly. Eventually he gets some help from his father (Christopher Lloyd) and his token black handler. It's light hearted but not a laugh riot. Pretty forgettable. Joe Bob says check it out (when it's free).
 

t-gator

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The new mortal kombat movie might be the worst movie I've ever seen. I've seen a shcit load of movies. That was dumb
 

ThreatMatrix

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Stowaway (2021) Netflix:
Anna Kendrick gets her space cherry popped. Toni Collette is the commander. Some Asian dude - let's call him Sulu - is the space botanist. White men are no longer competent enough to be astronauts according to Hollywierd, I guess. Our intrepid explorers are on their way to Mars when they discover a stowaway on board who happens to be an AA - let's call him Leroy - rounding out our diversity fruit cake. Leroy is a really, really nice guy so we can feel sorry for him when they determine they don't have enough O2 to complete the mission and need to eliminate Leroy from the equation. #BLM. Of course they try various things to save him and themselves. Yawn. The big tension scene is when they try an EVA to climb the tether to retrieve extra O2. I fast forwarded through most of it.
There are soo many technical problems.
1) They launch with there visors up. This is common in movies. So common that most people know that it's wrong.
2) They launch directly to the rendezvous. In real life you launch to about 20km below the target then use thrusters to phase and raise the orbit. Can take anywhere from an hour to a day. But no, they launch directly to the front porch.
3) Strong female character Collette manually docks. Guess they needed to prove to us she has skilz. Manual docking went out with bell bottoms.
4) Gravity vector is wrong. I applaud the decision to save money having to film weightless scenes by having the ship rotate on a tether. However, the gravity produced on the ship is pointing in the wrong direction. There are numerous shots that show the stars passing vertically in the window. If that were the case then they should be standing on the walls. Stars should be passing horizontally in the window.

Joe Bob says don't bother.
 

Alumni Guy

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Stowaway (2021) Netflix:
Anna Kendrick gets her space cherry popped. Toni Collette is the commander. Some Asian dude - let's call him Sulu - is the space botanist. White men are no longer competent enough to be astronauts according to Hollywierd, I guess. Our intrepid explorers are on their way to Mars when they discover a stowaway on board who happens to be an AA - let's call him Leroy - rounding out our diversity fruit cake. Leroy is a really, really nice guy so we can feel sorry for him when they determine they don't have enough O2 to complete the mission and need to eliminate Leroy from the equation. #BLM. Of course they try various things to save him and themselves. Yawn. The big tension scene is when they try an EVA to climb the tether to retrieve extra O2. I fast forwarded through most of it.
There are soo many technical problems.
1) They launch with there visors up. This is common in movies. So common that most people know that it's wrong.
2) They launch directly to the rendezvous. In real life you launch to about 20km below the target then use thrusters to phase and raise the orbit. Can take anywhere from an hour to a day. But no, they launch directly to the front porch.
3) Strong female character Collette manually docks. Guess they needed to prove to us she has skilz. Manual docking went out with bell bottoms.
4) Gravity vector is wrong. I applaud the decision to save money having to film weightless scenes by having the ship rotate on a tether. However, the gravity produced on the ship is pointing in the wrong direction. There are numerous shots that show the stars passing vertically in the window. If that were the case then they should be standing on the walls. Stars should be passing horizontally in the window.

Joe Bob says don't bother.
Your review reminds me of Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s (he’s such a smug prikk) complete scientific dismantling of the Clooney space flick: Gravity.
 

TheDouglas78

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The new Mortal Kombat Movie

That movie sucked donkey balls.

almost as bad as the new Godzilla Kong movie. Which I couldn’t even finish.

By this review I'm going to assume you have extensive knowledge of what it is like to Suck Donkey Balls... and being I know you have watched Rocky 5 on multiple occasions that tells us how really bad this movie must be.
 

ThreatMatrix

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Your review reminds me of Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s (he’s such a smug prikk) complete scientific dismantling of the Clooney space flick: Gravity.
We agree on one thing. NDT is a smug prick.
When movies portray something incorrectly that you have knowledge about it's jarring and takes you out of the film. You must get the same feeling when you see a movie where the McDonald's employee is frying a McChicken at the wrong temperature.
 

TheDouglas78

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Mortal Kombat (2021); Well with HBOMax decided to watch this just because I enjoy the games and the first movie (1995) was fun as well as the animated movie. I'll start off by saying this movie as a movie without knowledge of the history of the games is bad, like Masters of the Universe or Rocky 5 bad. The saving grace is unlike Rocky 5 which is a steaming pile of schit compared to the other movies in the series, the best movie in this series was released in 1995 it other than the at the time ground breaking special effects, the catchy theme song and having the Highlander as "Lord Raiden" it sucked.

Saying that I have played at least 5 games in the series and most importantly the reboot of the series storyline around 2010. That doesn't it make it a good movie and it isn't... but it makes somethings make more sense because the movie over explained schit that wasn't needed and completely glossed over things that would have made it make a little more sense. This was a movie that tried to ride the line of fan service and being a movie for the general public and it hurt the movie badly.

The Good:
Actual martial artists unlike all the other live action movies
The fight scenes for the most part were well done (Sonya/Cole being a huge no in this category)
The special effects are well done
The special moves by the characters including fatalities are actually like the game
Locations from the game (like the Pit), SubZero's Level, etc..
Call backs to other characters not in the movie, either through posters, Sonya wall of information, things in Raiden's temple, but this was complete fan service.

The opening scene in the movie might be the best part of the movie, which is also probably why it was released a week before the movie.


The Bad:
The whole protagonist/Cole storyline, this isn't from the source and makes absolutely no sense and no one gave a schit about him... he was boring as fuch
The above story kills the whole vibe of the movie, and really makes it disjointed
No tournament - It's Mortal Kombat tournament
The how to special powers - on par with the minicloranes (or what ever they were called) in Star Wars.. no one gives a schit what makes a you a jedi or what gives you powers in Mortal Kombat
Along the same path, the mark of champions and the rationale about it
This was setup as a prequel, which wasn't how it was sold
This movie instead of a single story, it just a setup movies for the sequels (3 movie contract and 2 spins off for some characters)

This wasn't a good movie and once you see it, it is forgettable. For just a movie going experience it is a solid 3/10 and as a piece of fan service it's a solid 6/10.

ThreatMatrix matrix: no boobs, butts or bush

Deet diagram: No tasting of homeless ass happened in the film.
 
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Detroitgator

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Moneyball (2011):

Watched Moneyball last night. Good flick. I like fat Jonah Hill better as an actor than "svelte" Jonah Hill.
 

Zambo

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Not sure if already reviewed but I didn't see anything in a search. Last night I watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo again, starring Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara. I liked it the first time and I liked it again the second time.

Set in Sweden, Craig plays an editor of a news magazine that loses a big libel suit to a slimy industrial magnate. He needs to take some time off and get away. He is summoned up north to help an old millionaire solve the decades old murder of his niece. Its a whole crazy eccentric family living on an island and they all have some pretty weird issues that Craig has to dance around as he tries to put together a case that the police have never been able to solve. In return for his help, he is promised access to info that will help him get back at the dude who sued him at the beginning of the story.

Meanwhile Mara plays a 23 year old girl named Lisbeth Salander who is offbeat to say the least. A combination of PTSD from being abused combined with some autistic spectrum weirdness, she is somewhat of a savant as an investigator with a photographic memory and extreme tech and computer skills. Without giving too much of the story away, she winds up teaming up with Craig to solve the case and kick some ass along the way.

IMO its one of those instances where the movie does fairly good justice to the book. It might even make you want to read the follow on books in the series.

Not really a family flick. Yes there are boobs and sex and rape and brutality.
 

gingerlover

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Tenet (HBO Max) - Another Christopher Nolan film that jumps all over the place with intriguing story-lines. Basically deals with going back in time to stop terrorist attacks. It was pretty good, but don't really know how to describe it as some people know they are in time and others don't. I enjoyed it however. 7/10

Mortal Kombat (HBO Max)
- Go into this with low expectations due to the source material. It's ok if that is what you went in with. Better CGI than before, a little bit better back story and some cool kills. 4/10

The New Mutants (HBO Max)
- Interesting, but so much left on the table that they could have gone with. Basically teenage mutants that are dangerous are locked up and their fears come after them. Not scary, teenage drama, and a weird WTF climax. 4/10
 

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