Best bad pickup line?

CaseyGator

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I heard a story about a dude at a bar. He bums a whole lime off of a bartender (prolly had to pay for it). He writes his name and number on the lime, gives it to the surprised girl and says "it's a pick-up lime".

It's gotta be the lamest but I wonder if it is true or an urban legend.

Alex.

I’m sad to say I would probably talk to that dude for a few minutes.
 

MidwestChomp

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I'm a lot like you so please, Hello, I'm here I'm waiting. I think I'd be good for you and you'd be good for me
 
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My son met his "future wife" in an elevator @ a nightclub in Orlando and he immediately went into his narcistic rap song about himself and then handed her his business card & told her to call him!!!
Actually, his rap song was quite good and did draw lots of attention from females.

Good grief but I thought I taught him better than that. She told him she had no intention of calling him, but he surprisingly did manage to get her phone number. They just renewed their vows this past April after 20 years of marriage.
 

MJMGator

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My son met his "future wife" in an elevator @ a nightclub in Orlando and he immediately went into his narcistic rap song about himself and then handed her his business card & told her to call him!!!
Actually, his rap song was quite good and did draw lots of attention from females.

Good grief but I thought I taught him better than that. She told him she had no intention of calling him, but he surprisingly did manage to get her phone number. They just renewed their vows this past April after 20 years of marriage.
You’re Crucial’s momma?
 

Theologator

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A dear friend was in the dumps because his girlfriend had dumped him. Our group of friends were heading out to Rickenbacker’s but he didn’t want to go as his confidence had bottomed out. This guy was a senior at UF Law, handsome, benched about 350 with a 32” waist and just a super guy. You know, the kind that can’t ever pick up a girl in a bar but has “happily ever after” written all over him.

So, I suggested his pick up line: “Want to see my resume?”

He didn’t use it, but the laugh did get him out the door and we had a good time. He’s now living happily ever after with a beautiful wife, son, career etc.

And I still like that line.
 

AlexDaGator

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A dear friend was in the dumps because his girlfriend had dumped him. Our group of friends were heading out to Rickenbacker’s but he didn’t want to go as his confidence had bottomed out. This guy was a senior at UF Law, handsome, benched about 350 with a 32” waist and just a super guy. You know, the kind that can’t ever pick up a girl in a bar but has “happily ever after” written all over him.

So, I suggested his pick up line: “Want to see my resume?”

He didn’t use it, but the laugh did get him out the door and we had a good time. He’s now living happily ever after with a beautiful wife, son, career etc.

And I still like that line.

I might have known that guy. What year?

Alex.
 

TLB

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ThreatMatrix

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Use to hang out with a guy, big dude. He'd ask a girl to dance, if she said no, he'd say 'that's okay, I have to take a **** anyway".
But he was charismatic and people liked him. He'd sit at the bar and make up stories to pick up chicks. We lived in Daytona so a lot of them involved being a race car driver. And he'd pull you in and say you were part of the pit crew or something and you'd play along.
One night he's sitting at the bar telling this girl this really long story about how his marriage ended and how she broke his heart - He was making the **** up as he went - He said he had proposed to her on a bridge but when he realized that the marriage was really over he went back to the bridge. When he got to the part where he took his wedding ring off and through it into the water I could see the girl start to tear up. Nothing drops panties faster than a broken heart story.
Tomey was his name, became a big wig at GE.
 

crosscreekcooter

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A dear friend was in the dumps because his girlfriend had dumped him. Our group of friends were heading out to Rickenbacker’s but he didn’t want to go as his confidence had bottomed out. This guy was a senior at UF Law, handsome, benched about 350 with a 32” waist and just a super guy. You know, the kind that can’t ever pick up a girl in a bar but has “happily ever after” written all over him.

So, I suggested his pick up line: “Want to see my resume?”

He didn’t use it, but the laugh did get him out the door and we had a good time. He’s now living happily ever after with a beautiful wife, son, career etc.

And I still like that line.

I actually thought you were going to tell us it was Alex or Donkey but then I saw your descriptive.
 

5-Star Finger

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I am dying to know your best awful pickup line. Extra points for a story in which it was actually used. Discuss.

Okay, so this is more of a closer than an icebreaker:

Guy: "This place sucks. You want to get the hell out of here and go do something else?"
Girl: "Sure, what do you want to do?"
Guy: <Look her dead in the eyes> You, if you can keep up. <Then you give her the wink>
 

GatorBart

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Eat my shorts!.................er, would you like to eat my shorts, please?
:bart:
 

Swamp Donkey

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I'm a lot like you so please, Hello, I'm here I'm waiting. I think I'd be good for you and you'd be good for me
That gets worse every time I accidentally red this.

Did you REALLY say this?

What's wrong with can I buy you a beer or whatever?
 

MidwestChomp

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That gets worse every time I accidentally red this.

Did you REALLY say this?

What's wrong with can I buy you a beer or whatever?

No I didn't use or make that up. It's from a song by Weezer...El Scorcho. Appreciate the concern my friend.
 

gatorev12

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My go-to is to go up to a girl and say "can I interest you in a virgin apple martini?"

As with everything else: delivery is key. You have to say it mostly deadpan, but have a feint smile in the corner of your mouth.

It's GUARANTEED to get a response/reaction (seriously: even if it didn't work in sealing the deal, it at least got me a few minutes of conversation).

And the direct approach is insanely effective too: "hey, so I'm sure you've already heard this plenty of times tonight, but I'm going to go ahead and say it again: you're very attractive."
 

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