Best bad pickup line?

Swamp Donkey

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"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, We're a match on Tinder, So I think we should screw."


"69 miles away, huh? Well that's ironic..."


"Do you work at build-a-bear? Because I’d stuff you."

75 Tinder Pick Up Lines That Will Get You a Date!

That website has a Call of Duty pickup line page. I'm afraid to look.
 

itsgr82bag8r

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Tell your mom I said hi
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BNAG8R

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I don’t care
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Do you know the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection?




I don’t have a Lamborghini.
 

PastyStoole

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Here are a few I've used and witnessed:

1) First semester my Freshman year at UF, I'm in this huge auditorium for a Biology lecture, a very attractive girl sits down at the table near me. I was 118 lbs. and had absolutely no game, she was probably 20. During the middle of the boring lecture I just said, what the hell, took out a piece of paper and wrote "DO YOU LIKE BROCCOLI?" and slid it over to her. She chuckled and wrote "YES" and slid it back to me. I wrote "WRITE PHONE NUMBER HERE:______________" She did, I called her and we went on a date. Out of my league, then, but we had a good time, and I was grateful for the experience.

2) I'm in my 20s hanging around at a bar called Bradley's Palm Beach. There are literally douche bags in double breasted blazers there and a whole lot of pretension. My buddies start talking about this girl across the bar in a hat, who's laughing with her friend. She notices all of us looking at her. With this big sweeping, ridiculous, gesture I motion for her to come over, she does and I immediately put my arm around her and said, "You came here tonight to make out with me, didn't you?" My buddies were stunned, she started laughing, she and I went to the bar and I got her a drink and about 5 minutes later I was making out with her.

3) At the very same bar, about two months before the Patti Bowman/William Kennedy Smith incident. I'm sitting at the bar with a date when two secret service agents walk in and go to the corners, followed by Ted Kennedy who enters the bar with some kid who looked like he was underage - a nephew or something. The Senator, who is loaded and flushed, comes up to the bar, orders two drinks and turns to MY fckn' date and slurs, "I've been looking for you all my life." She looks at him for a few seconds, (she's already in her cups a bit), and turns back to me and says, "whadda we gonna have another Chappaquiddick?" loud enough for the good Senator to hear. Now, anyone who knows me also knows I absolutely HATE the Kennedys. They're the epitome of the privileged idle rich and every time they came into town years ago something bad would happen. And I don't care much for their phony politics masked as altruism either. But even I saw nothing good about the comment and was deeply embarrassed by it. He moved away from us, but the whole thing was one of the most cringe-worthy moments I've ever been a part of and a complete fail on many levels.

4) A buddy of mine and I are at a party on summer break and we're making out with two girls who we had gotten friendly with, and who had come to the party with each other. All of a sudden he stops, looks over at us and, starts singing to the Flinstone's Rock Roll "Twitch" song: "There's a town I know where the hipsters go called BEDROCK, Switch! Switch!" They sort of shrugged and we switched chicks. He and I just kept singing that song every so often and switching. It was a completely bizarre night but absolutely hilarious and very memorable.

 

Gator515151

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I once asked a girl at a roadside flower stand if she had any bouquets guaranteed to get me laid. When she sold me a half dozen roses I handed them back to her.......it didn't work.
 

GR8 2B

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I once asked a girl at a roadside flower stand if she had any bouquets guaranteed to get me laid. When she sold me a half dozen roses I handed them back to her.......it didn't work.
Sounds like that was worth a try. What were you, about 19?
 

GR8 2B

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3) At the very same bar (Bradley's Palm Beach), about two months before the Patti Bowman/William Kennedy Smith incident. I'm sitting at the bar with a date when two secret service agents walk in and go to the corners, followed by Ted Kennedy who enters the bar with some kid who looked like he was underage - a nephew or something. The Senator, who is loaded and flushed, comes up to the bar, orders two drinks and turns to MY fckn' date and slurs, "I've been looking for you all my life." She looks at him for a few seconds, (she's already in her cups a bit), and turns back to me and says, "whadda we gonna have another Chappaquiddick?" loud enough for the good Senator to hear. Now, anyone who knows me also knows I absolutely HATE the Kennedys. They're the epitome of the privileged idle rich and every time they came into town years ago something bad would happen. And I don't care much for their phony politics masked as altruism either. But even I saw nothing good about the comment and was deeply embarrassed by it. He moved away from us, but the whole thing was one of the most cringe-worthy moments I've ever been a part of and a complete fail on many levels.
I was in PBC in that time period, and was in Bradley's every week and weekend. I was at the Au Bar the night of the William Kennedy Smith "incident". My good friend and I were talking to 2 girls in their mid-20's he knew, drinks in hand, when I looked over one girl's shoulder, and saw this guy who I was pretty sure was Ted Kennedy standing right next to us with 2 other younger guys. I recognized one of them later from news reports as having been William. I asked my buddy, who lived on PB, if that was TK. He said he was. The girls looked at him, and he, catching their looks, leaned into the nearest girl's ear and said something. He pulled back, smiled at her, and turned away. We asked her what he said. All she would say was, "that was the rudest, most disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me."
 
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PastyStoole

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I was in PBC in that time period, and was in Bradley's every week and weekend. I was at the Au Bar the night of the William Kennedy Smith "incident". My good friend and I were talking to 2 girls in their mid-20's he knew, drinks in hand, when I looked over one girl's shoulder, and saw this guy who I was pretty sure was Ted Kennedy standing right next to us with 2 other younger guys. I recognized one of them later from news reports as having been William. I asked my buddy, who lived on PB, if that was TK. He said he was. The girls looked at him, and he, catching their looks, leaned into the nearest girl's ear and said something. He pulled back, smiled at her, and turned away. We asked her what he said. All she would say was, "that was the rudest, most disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me."

I had two encounters with Ted Kennedy. When he hit on my date, that was my second. It may have been William Kennedy Smith with him, the kid looked young, so it's hard for me to say. Same look though.

I grew up in the town of Palm Beach, literally two houses west of the Kennedy compound. Rose Kennedy used to walk down our street every day and say "hi" to us, engage us in conversation, she even invited my sister into her house and gave her a tour once. She told her she could play tennis there any time she wanted. Her caretaker, a guy named "Denny" hung out with all the kids and 20 somethings in town, he just died last year.

When I was a kid, my dad and I used to walk down the beach, I'd run patterns, and he'd throw me the football. My favorite was when I had to leap and make a diving catch into the surf. It was one of those bonding things with your dad that stays with you in your life. One day we saw Ted and his Sterno-guzzling wife Joan walking down the beach, actually holding hands, believe it or not. I know I can be mean to these people, with the exception of Rose, they are and were truly awful. But this was a sweet moment. They stopped and talked to us, no one else was around. No secret service, nobody else on the beach. He told me I was a good football player, which was a lie, and even threw me a pass.

Years later when he hit on my date at Bradley's the thing I noticed was the enormity of the guys head. It had become bloated from years of alcohol abuse, and the contrast of the kind and gentle encounter I had with him and Joan was striking.

I knew the girl William Kennedy Smith raped. Not well, but at the time she was raising a child that was from a very close friend of our family. We spent every Christmas dinner at their house and summers on their private Island in the Bahamas. When the story broke, our entire street was lined with cars from all kinds of press, including the sleazy TV tabloid kind. My dad used to turn the sprinkler on toward their cars. One of them actually got caught going through the garage of the family friend I just mentioned. In truth, it was one of many crappy things the Kennedys did in Palm Beach. They were privileged reprobates. I had a friend who worked at Saks on Worth Avenue. She said they would routinely buy an expensive dress for some gala, then return it the next day with sweat stains in it.

In any case, it sounds like you and I hung out at the same places right around that time. I wonder if we are eskimo brothers, that was one of the funnest periods of my life. :lol:
 

GR8 2B

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I had two encounters with Ted Kennedy. When he hit on my date, that was my second. It may have been William Kennedy Smith with him, the kid looked young, so it's hard for me to say. Same look though.

I grew up in the town of Palm Beach, literally two houses west of the Kennedy compound. Rose Kennedy used to walk down our street every day and say "hi" to us, engage us in conversation, she even invited my sister into her house and gave her a tour once. She told her she could play tennis there any time she wanted. Her caretaker, a guy named "Denny" hung out with all the kids and 20 somethings in town, he just died last year.

When I was a kid, my dad and I used to walk down the beach, I'd run patterns, and he'd throw me the football. My favorite was when I had to leap and make a diving catch into the surf. It was one of those bonding things with your dad that stays with you in your life. One day we saw Ted and his Sterno-guzzling wife Joan walking down the beach, actually holding hands, believe it or not. I know I can be mean to these people, with the exception of Rose, they are and were truly awful. But this was a sweet moment. They stopped and talked to us, no one else was around. No secret service, nobody else on the beach. He told me I was a good football player, which was a lie, and even threw me a pass.

Years later when he hit on my date at Bradley's the thing I noticed was the enormity of the guys head. It had become bloated from years of alcohol abuse, and the contrast of the kind and gentle encounter I had with him and Joan was striking.

I knew the girl William Kennedy Smith raped. Not well, but at the time she was raising a child that was from a very close friend of our family. We spent every Christmas dinner at their house and summers on their private Island in the Bahamas. When the story broke, our entire street was lined with cars from all kinds of press, including the sleazy TV tabloid kind. My dad used to turn the sprinkler on toward their cars. One of them actually got caught going through the garage of the family friend I just mentioned. In truth, it was one of many crappy things the Kennedys did in Palm Beach. They were privileged reprobates. I had a friend who worked at Saks on Worth Avenue. She said they would routinely buy an expensive dress for some gala, then return it the next day with sweat stains in it.

In any case, it sounds like you and I hung out at the same places right around that time. I wonder if we are eskimo brothers, that was one of the funnest periods of my life.
There's no doubt in my mind that we've met. The friend of mine I was with at Au Bar grew up on Palm Beach. I was out with him and the group so much that his grandmother set up a bedroom for me in their house. We really tore it up on the island for a few years. I'm using my cell phone right now. I'll pm you sometime soon from a computer.
 

AlexDaGator

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Back on track...


Boy: Sticks out arm towards girl, says "Hey, touch that!" indicating the fabric of his shirt sleeve.

Girl: Touches shirt, says "Feels OK"

Boy: "OK? That's BOYFRIEND material!"




Alex.
 

MADGator

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"Hi, I'm Jboss and I would like to Own and Destroy you tonight."

I know I'm late to the party but dang, I ROR'd.
200w.webp
 

stephenPE

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My friend was 45 and she was 30. He noticed that she noticed. He told her "you are like the dessert cart rolling by but never stops."
 

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