Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

TLB

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Time Trap (2017) <Netflix>

So, I was due for a stupid movie, and one who has a description of "A professor goes in a cave and gets trapped, his students look for him and do the same" sounds like the perfect candidate. I'd put the production quality at or near SciFi channel material, the acting and execution is about the same, but the writing brings this up a notch or two. To elaborate on the plot, the cave is actually where the Fountain of Youth is hiding, several layers deep. Within each layer, time slows down further. So, as we focus on the students looking for their Prof we get to the realization that when in the cave, they can look out and the sky is flashing light and dark (the quickly surmise days are passing above as seconds to them below). Throw in some cavemen to add some baddies even though they are trapped and lost in time like everyone else, glow sticks everywhere, a dead cowboy so we can bring a gun into play for no reason, and an alien from the future because ALIENS!, and you've got a good time, amirite? I like one of the other comments on IMDB to the effect of 'You ever like the telling of a story, but keep yelling at characters you can't care for?" Pretty accurate. The end wraps up quick with a pretty good twist, albeit predictable, and as it switches to credits you realize "WTF? The delivery on the ending was empty", meaning the story took it's next logical step (not setting up for a sequel), but didn't answer a ton of questions about the film. This, coming from ME who often just goes for the escape. 6/10.



ThreatMatrix = group of coeds includes two blonds in their early 20's. One of them is the main 'capable' one as others get injured. While she is attractive, you'll see a lot more skin driving around UF campus on a normal afternoon.
 

TLB

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Sonic the Hedgehog (2020 )

Yes, based on the video game, so you have your expectations set from the beginning. Premise is Sonic escaped his home planet via his rings, and came to earth where he's been hiding for a few years in some remote town and soaking in the locals. He gets upset at his loneliness and causes a major power outage, which brings the gov't in with Dr. Egghead Robotnik (Jim Carey). Sonic seeks help from the local sheriff, who he's felt most bonded with and refers to the sheriff as 'Donut Lord' (yelling at donuts, eating the ones who get out of line). I should note, the entire film is life action with a CGI Sonic in the scenes, but it all looks and feels mostly natural (for a movie based on a game). Sonic is given a real personality, some good lines and several comedic moments. Our sheriff and his wife (he's white, she is black, and it is never 'in your face', but more of just how things are so maybe this stops being a statement) take care of helping Sonic escape the gov't baddy and search for his lost rings so he can escape to his next planet. Along the way, he gets taught what a bucket list is, and starts crossing things off, which fills the middle section of the film with some zany episodes, but sets you up for the 'friend' at the end he so desperately wants. Carey plays the bad guy really well, perfectly fits his style and it doesn't go over the top or reach a mockery of itself but stays within context and keeps things moving. All in all, a great film for the family. 7.5/10

ThreatMatrix = nothing to see here, move along.
 

gingerlover

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Sonic the Hedgehog (2020 )

Yes, based on the video game, so you have your expectations set from the beginning. Premise is Sonic escaped his home planet via his rings, and came to earth where he's been hiding for a few years in some remote town and soaking in the locals. He gets upset at his loneliness and causes a major power outage, which brings the gov't in with Dr. Egghead Robotnik (Jim Carey). Sonic seeks help from the local sheriff, who he's felt most bonded with and refers to the sheriff as 'Donut Lord' (yelling at donuts, eating the ones who get out of line). I should note, the entire film is life action with a CGI Sonic in the scenes, but it all looks and feels mostly natural (for a movie based on a game). Sonic is given a real personality, some good lines and several comedic moments. Our sheriff and his wife (he's white, she is black, and it is never 'in your face', but more of just how things are so maybe this stops being a statement) take care of helping Sonic escape the gov't baddy and search for his lost rings so he can escape to his next planet. Along the way, he gets taught what a bucket list is, and starts crossing things off, which fills the middle section of the film with some zany episodes, but sets you up for the 'friend' at the end he so desperately wants. Carey plays the bad guy really well, perfectly fits his style and it doesn't go over the top or reach a mockery of itself but stays within context and keeps things moving. All in all, a great film for the family. 7.5/10

ThreatMatrix = nothing to see here, move along.

My 7 year old is a little gamer and absolutely loved this movie. I feared the worst but was done well.
 

Detroitgator

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“Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” on Netflix...

OK, so, I felt compelled to watch this, and yes, I am the ONE person who watched it. Pretty terrible, but had a few funny parts... average Americans definitely will not "get" this movie at all! As for Eurovision itself, it's become infected with social crap just like everything else... I long for the days when it was run properly... by Russia threatening other countries with cutting of their gas if they didn't vote for Russia!
 

Zambo

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Downfall

If you don’t recognize the title, trust me you’ve already seen part of this movie dozens of times. That’s because it’s the one with the bunker scene where Hitler is yelling at his Generals.

Not sure if there is a dubbed version or not but both timesI’ve watched it I have just used subtitles, which I think is better anyway. Something about hearing everything in German just makes it seem more real.

In any event the movie covers the events in Berlin in the last week of Hitlers reign. Everything about it was fascinating to me. The conversations between Hitler and his staff, the conversations behind Hitlers back, the actions of the other German officers, the scenes of the city under siege as the Russians close in.....all very well done IMO.

If you like WW2 history, this movie is a must-see. And yes there are some boobs. It’s on Amazon prime.
 

TheDouglas78

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Hard to believe Tilda Swinton is my age. She's been showing up a lot lately in movies and she's a national treasure. Not sure what nation, but a national treasure.

Westworld has really exploded her career, and i believe she is from the U.K..
 

TheDouglas78

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Scoob! (2020): This is a re-booting of the franchise. The story wasn't that great, but in the end it was about friendship overcoming all which for little kids is a little kids story. The voices for the most part sounded off to me, but the daughter didn't feel it. She enjoyed it a lot. The movie had a lot of call backs and a lot of easter eggs of stuff from our youth if you are paying attention. It was entertaining enough, but wouldn't be something I would be rushing back to see. I give it a solid 6/10 for what it is supposed to be.

ThreatMatrix Matrix: no boobs or butts....
 

TLB

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Artemis Fowl (2020) <Disney+>

Based on a series of early teen books with a central character of Artemis Fowl (Jr.) as a 12y old super genius. I'd never read the stories, but my daughter (14) had and it was her night to pick a family movie. The rest of the fam didn't know what to expect, and I'm ok heading into movies like that. We start off with a few scenes that establish the kid's intellect, and that he lives alone with his father (Colin Farrell, only recognizable face in the film besides an old lady), and his father is often away on 'business'. There is a bodyguard 'Dom' as well. Story is set in Ireland, father has a huge estate the son lives in, and it has the rumblings that dad is a collector of rare things. Plot hinges on dad teaching his son anything and everything about faeries and the like, with a strong push to believe. Then on day, dad is abducted and son gets a mysterious call to find some ancient artifact his dad had supposedly stolen. The regular world then has a media eruption that his dad is a master thief, which the son and bodyguard won't believe but they DO begin searching the house to find the artifact to trade for his father. Along the way, the son come to believe in faeries, and attempts to capture one to help him retrieve the artifact. That's as much plot as I will spoil, the summary of the film is the boy is often 3 steps ahead of everyone, including the faeries, the real world authorities, the other mythical creatures (dwarf, goblin, troll, etc). We have a heavy dose of imaginary creatures throughout to flesh out the cast, provide friendship and some inter-character backstories and relationships; a decent amount of CGI effects (a failing time freeze bubble is interesting) and it all wraps up with a nice bow and an opening for sequels (remember, this was 8 books). Upside? Kids aged 6-12 might like it. Adults might have 1-2 laughs at most. Downside? If you read the books, they didn't find the dad until book 3, so there's a lot of Hollywood creative liberty taken to translate the book to film, so it is not even close to the books. Adults might have 1-2 laughs at most. Ok if you need to watch with some kids, otherwise skip it and any sequels they decide to make. 5/10.
 

gingerlover

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The Old Guard (Netflix) - Charlize Theron stars as the leader of immortal special forces. There are usually no more than 4 at any time. The CIA and big pharmacy set them up and come after them to unlock their genetic code. At this time another is awoken and they race to find her first.

Actually pretty good and it looks to be setup for a sequel. Some good action and only does a little SJW in it since I’m sure she required it in the contract. Villain is a little lacking and is played by the mean cousin in Harry Potter. 7/10

Gemini Man - where to start. The cast, acting and story are not horrible. That being said the special effects look like a bad B movie. That tanks it.
 

Detroitgator

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The Old Guard (Netflix) - Charlize Theron stars as the leader of immortal special forces. There are usually no more than 4 at any time. The CIA and big pharmacy set them up and come after them to unlock their genetic code. At this time another is awoken and they race to find her first.

Actually pretty good and it looks to be setup for a sequel. Some good action and only does a little SJW in it since I’m sure she required it in the contract. Villain is a little lacking and is played by the mean cousin in Harry Potter. 7/10

Gemini Man - where to start. The cast, acting and story are not horrible. That being said the special effects look like a bad B movie. That tanks it.
So, a 3.6... not great, not terrible. ;)
 

Zambo

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Greyhound.

Tom Hanks is the captain of a navy warship escorting merchant vessels across the Atlantic during WWII. Very action packed movie with pretty great effects. While the verbiage on the bridge isn't perfect, its well above average and lends a great deal of authenticity to the movie. Its not very long or very bloody like Saving Private Ryan. Just about the only issue with this movie is that Tom Hanks, who does a great job as always, is about 30 years too old for this role. This is a weird trend in military movies, the main characters are routinely played by actors who are way older than they should be for their rank. But that's a small nitpick, its a great flick. The mandatory love interest is Elisabeth Shue and its only a couple minutes at the very beginning before he ships out. The rest of the film is at-sea action. Sorry, no boobs. Available on AppleTV.
 

soflagator

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Greyhound.

Tom Hanks is the captain of a navy warship escorting merchant vessels across the Atlantic during WWII. Very action packed movie with pretty great effects. While the verbiage on the bridge isn't perfect, its well above average and lends a great deal of authenticity to the movie. Its not very long or very bloody like Saving Private Ryan. Just about the only issue with this movie is that Tom Hanks, who does a great job as always, is about 30 years too old for this role. This is a weird trend in military movies, the main characters are routinely played by actors who are way older than they should be for their rank. But that's a small nitpick, its a great flick. The mandatory love interest is Elisabeth Shue and its only a couple minutes at the very beginning before he ships out. The rest of the film is at-sea action. Sorry, no boobs. Available on AppleTV.

I was very "meh" about this movie. In fact, of the three people watching, I was the only one that finished it. My wife and MIL went to bed. Not because it was terrible, but it just got to be very monotonous, which I guess probably truly captures what the naval battles and voyages would've been like. You mentioned SPR above, and I think that may be Greyhound's toughest critique. When you think of Hanks and WW2, you just have such a high bar, which is nearly impossible to attain. I felt it was very anti-climactic and I didn't really get the "love" element of things, even in the beginning. Hanks is great in anything he does, and I'm sure it was probably accurate. And for people with better knowledge of naval battles and military in general, it was probably much more entertaining. But my wife's biggest takeaway was "hard rudder left!" which must have been stated(or a slight variation of that) at least 200 times.:lol:
 

Zambo

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I was very "meh" about this movie. In fact, of the three people watching, I was the only one that finished it. My wife and MIL went to bed. Not because it was terrible, but it just got to be very monotonous, which I guess probably truly captures what the naval battles and voyages would've been like. You mentioned SPR above, and I think that may be Greyhound's toughest critique. When you think of Hanks and WW2, you just have such a high bar, which is nearly impossible to attain. I felt it was very anti-climactic and I didn't really get the "love" element of things, even in the beginning. Hanks is great in anything he does, and I'm sure it was probably accurate. And for people with better knowledge of naval battles and military in general, it was probably much more entertaining. But my wife's biggest takeaway was "hard rudder left!" which must have been stated(or a slight variation of that) at least 200 times.:lol:

Yeah it’s definitely not a movie for chicks or effeminate men.
 

Zambo

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Similarly, an authentic movie about flying would probably interest me and be completely boring to many lay people, whereas Top Gun, which is unbelievably silly to a real pilot, is a huge hit.
 

soflagator

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Similarly, an authentic movie about flying would probably interest me and be completely boring to many lay people, whereas Top Gun, which is unbelievably silly to a real pilot, is a huge hit.

I found Top Gun to be very straight forward with some serious life lessons:1) that you never leave your wing man, 2) that you should always avoid flying through jet wash, and 3) that even if someone gets a :30 head start and is on a motorcycle doing 90, you can still catch them in a car doing 70 as long as you’re willing to run at least one red light.

Ok, so those are facts.
 

Zambo

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Midway was good. One of the best remakes I can ever recall.
It was good entertainment but the hokey flying scenes made it difficult to watch. The silly thing is that most of it is unnecessary, especially how the hero trains to do the 'bunny hop' emergency landing on the carrier.
 

TLB

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Been churning thru the MCU in the sequence they were meant to occur (as opposed to release dates). I won't bore you, but I'm up to Infinity Wars. I forgot how humourous the Guardians were. Great stuff.


The Old Guard (2020) <Netflix>

Apparently, this is based on a comic series. I wouldn't know, and came into it blind. Charlize Theron takes the lead with 3 other guys in her group. The kicker is they have become immortal. They don't know how or why, but Andy (Theron) was the first several centuries back. She picked up the others along the way and they would do certain jobs throughout the world over time = typically rescuing some people, or stopping some catastrophe. It gives the impression they didn't know they were effecting history, they just did what seemed right to them at the time. Jump to modern day and they discover a new immortal has just been created (soldier in war, throat cut but recovers) so they go to collect the new recruit who is obviously going thru some reality adjustments. Add in an ex-CIA guy they did a job for once, and he's now free lancing and picked up a job for them. They take it, things go south, and we start getting a thin trail of deceit as someone wants to study them to create a cure-all for humanity, and profit too most likely.

The whole 2h5m moves decently, no drag and not a lot of wasted screen time. It's not riveting, nor loaded with much in the way of special effects (other than a ton of bullets and blood, then they rise back up again). It'll keep your attention as you learn the characters, their relationships, and this take on immortality. However, throughout, especially in the back half, this feels soooo much like a pilot trying to launch a series. Turns out, it is, and there appears to be a sequel being worked on. It's decent enough to make you kinda wanna see the next one, but if you miss it you wont' be upset. 6.5/10

ThreatMatrix: One look down Theron's shirt at some cleavage, that's about it.
 

TLB

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Devil's Gate (2017) <Netflix>

An FBI agent arrives in N. Dakota to look for a missing woman and her son. I didn't recognize the lead FBI agent, but the sheriff she's paired with is a fimilar face from X-men films (he's done a bit more, so you may or may not recognize him). There is the husband to the missing woman who is also familiar from several recent tv and film work, and he kinda carries the film with his acting. There is also the local 'boss' sheriff who tries to keep the FBI away from the husband and basically comes off as a fat ******* = he's played by Will Riker from the Star Trek series (dude got FAT, and a small role). I won't spoil much on this one, but I will say it has a few twists that carry it into a very new take on a very old theme. The plot carrying you there is enough to keep you plugged in, and I never really said 'no fn way, this is now jumping the shark'. Then again, I'll watch anything. Good flick for some time killing, but you won't have less of a life if you skip it. 5.5/10

ThreatMatrix: Missing woman shows up towards the end, buck nekkid laying on the ground, so we see her butt crack.
 
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