Random, sometimes funny, gif and post padding thread #4

Treebeard

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Treebeard

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Interesting read of an extended "FU!". Whether true or not... Detroit, any input?

Context: As the Ottoman Empire expanded, they came into contact with Zaporozhian Cossacks, individuals who lived in the vicinity of the Crimean Sea. The Zaporozhia Cossacks had defeated Ottoman forces in battle in 1676, but Sultan Mehmed IV didn't give up.

After the Sultan told the Cossacks they could either submit to his rule or fight at some point during the late 1670s, they responded with this letter.

The "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" is the best response to a demand for surrender, ever.

In response to requests by the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire to desist attacks and submit:

"Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!

O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil sh*ts, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f*ck thy mother.

Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-f*cker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our d*ck. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host."
 

itsgr82bag8r

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Asking for a friend.

No I'm not.

There’s a house on my street where for years they’ve had a card table at the end of the driveway and offer a small mixed drink to the parents as the kids run around getting candy.

It’s a popular street for the trick-or-treat crowd.
 

CDGator

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There’s a house on my street where for years they’ve had a card table at the end of the driveway and offer a small mixed drink to the parents as the kids run around getting candy.

It’s a popular street for the trick-or-treat crowd.

Address please! That's awesome.
We will take a field trip. :lol:
 

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