Jokes

deuce

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"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war."
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The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that would offer more for their sportsmen so they cross-bread a Coho Salmon with a Walleye and called it a "Cowal". This fish was a great size and reproduced well, but it wouldn't strike a bait easily.

As a result, the Fish & Game scientists decided that to increase the "fight", they would cross-breed this new "Cowal" with the renowned fighting fish, the Musky. The new breed created was the "Cowalsky"...

...and so now they need to teach the dumb son-of-a-bytch how to swim!

:scratchhead: I got nothing?
 

AuggieDosta

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An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "Your dog can't swim!"
 

Nalt

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Jul 23, 2020
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An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "Your dog can't swim!"
Haha. That's an old one but still good. A cajun chef/comedian named Justin Wilson used to tell that one with a slight twist.
 

AuggieDosta

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And you come across as a sensitive snowflake. You tell racist jokes and get butt-hurt when someone calls you on it. Then when you tell a good joke you don't recognize when someone actually says it is a good joke. You just focus on the negative.

:lies:

And you don't recognize when you're being phukked with do you? It's all good.

As for the snowflake part, are you saying I'm unique? :highfive:

:brad:
 

Nalt

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Jul 23, 2020
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:lies:

And you don't recognize when you're being phukked with do you? It's all good.

As for the snowflake part, are you saying I'm unique? :highfive:

:brad:
Look up Justin Wilson on youtube and watch some of his comedy. Really funny guy.

BTW, do you know how to catch a unique rabbit?

You nique up on it... :rimshot:

Dad jokes, ya gotta love em...
 

Gator By Marriage

A convert to Gatorism
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John Kerry walks into a bar and the bar and the bartender asks him "Why the long face, ya commie bastid?"
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You basically changed it from a joke a dad would tell to a joke my Dad would’ve told
 

wrpgator

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upload_2020-11-24_9-15-31.png
My Cub Scout days were pre-mini skirt era and so I never had a chance to wear the highly coveted Beaver Badge on my uniform. I did, however, earn unofficial beaver badges--including a few that required penicillin--later on.
 

wrpgator

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A grenade thrown into a Paris flooring supply store is Linoleum Blown Apart.
 

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