Helping the HC Search Committee Make the Questionaire

Swamp Donkey

Founding Member
7-14 vs P5 Fire Stricklin First
Lifetime Member
Jun 9, 2014
78,414
110,740
Founding Member
How hard is it to write a job description.
  • Demonstrated ability to recruit top 150 players.
  • Personal relationship with every HS coach in Florida preferred.
  • Psychotic fear of losing. At anything.
  • Borderline pathological expectation of perfection in yourself and all those around you.
  • Confirmed willingness to fire under performers - extra points if members of immediate family.
  • Ability to identify (preferably in the womb) star athletes and play them regardless of seniority or work ethic.
  • Essay question: The Defense exists to ___________. Only acceptable answer is "get me the ball".
  • Multiple choice question: Special Teams are
    • a) where you put freshman and walkons.
    • b) one third of the team that requires skilled players and exceptional coaching. (Correct answer)
  • True or False question: It is possible to score enough points
    • True
    • False (Correct answer)
This is an HOF post and a Imo great should be it's own thread.

What else should be on the entrance exam for the next coach:

Do you think peanut butter sandwiches are more important than recruiting?

Do you think the best defense is zero offense?

Do you think that Time of Possession is more important than winning?

Do you think Total Yards is more important than winning?

Do you have a Fat Dwag DC you intend to hire?

Are you a Dwag? Null?

Do you think you should take half of the year off on vacation?

Do you think Bowl Prep weeks are better spent at home with the family?

Do you often smile after losing to less talented teams because you forgot to prepare again?




Help me out, there have to be more.
 
Last edited:

Gator87

Founding Member
Senior Member
Lifetime Member
Jun 11, 2014
1,920
4,483
Founding Member
When is the correct time to take a vacation?
The correct answer is, the day after I retire or am fired.
 

ThreatMatrix

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Aug 28, 2014
16,541
26,096
Do you agree that a win should be celebrated for no more than 60 secs after a game and a loss should be suffered for every waking moment of the rest of your life?
 

Bait'n Gator

Go away..... bait'n
Lifetime Member
Mar 14, 2015
3,374
14,220
Have or will you ever stick your dick in an fish?

Do your lips quiver when you get nervous or embarrassed?

Do you hold your shoulders back and poke your chest out like a fuching man?

Do you allow your wife to make out with a multitude of 18 -22 year old men?

Have you ever caught your wife with a wide receiver coach?

Do you ever dress like a weird 7th grade science teacher or a traveling vacuum machine salesman?

Do you have any issues with your salary being based off your record each year?

Do you have any issues with you and everyone on your staff not receiving their checks in Feb if your recruiting class isn't top 5?
 

RiverRat

Glass half full
Lifetime Member
Nov 1, 2017
3,253
7,311
The applicant must not be in posssession of a photo or film of our A.D serenading a Goat or other farm animal.
 
Last edited:

Egor's Assistant

SAVE CHATTER
Lifetime Member
Nov 3, 2017
9,992
33,487
Do you have any issues with your salary being based off your record each year?
Are you willing to sign a contract that pays you on a per-win basis?
This is the way of the future.

Also, are you willing to let an AI-Coach call the defensive plays?
AI Madden would have outperformed Fat Todd by 2 TD's per game.
(Get our nerds on the line, stat).
 
Last edited:

ThreatMatrix

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Aug 28, 2014
16,541
26,096
Have or will you ever stick your dick in an fish?

Do your lips quiver when you get nervous or embarrassed?

Do you hold your shoulders back and poke your chest out like a fuching man?

Do you allow your wife to make out with a multitude of 18 -22 year old men?

Have you ever caught your wife with a wide receiver coach?

Do you ever dress like a weird 7th grade science teacher or a traveling vacuum machine salesman?

Do you have any issues with your salary being based off your record each year?

Do you have any issues with you and everyone on your staff not receiving their checks in Feb if your recruiting class isn't top 5?
You had me at "stick your dick in a fish".
For now on that's my first screening filter.
If he looks like a guy who'd stick his dick in a fish he's out.
 

CapitalGator02

Founding Member
( . Y . )
Jun 17, 2014
1,919
5,332
Founding Member
- Must have an in-depth understanding that no one gives a phuck how many yards you accumulated or how long you possessed the ball if you lost the game!
 

FireFoley

Senior Member
Lifetime Member
Nov 19, 2014
9,232
14,964
OMG, I found the email I sent Strichnine 4 years ago, LOL.




Sun, Nov 26, 2017 6:45 pm

Dear Mr. Stricklin,

Exactly one year ago, I emailed you after the 2016 FSU football game politely asking you to take a real look at the football program and be proactive and make a change at the head football coaching position. I explained it had nothing to do with the Wins and Losses, but the crummy product that was being put on the field week after week. As a process person, I did not care that we were 2 time winners of the SEC East (someone had to be), rather that there was clearly no process based on what we witnessed each and every Saturday. I knew that realistically and financially a change would not be made, but I felt I had a right to share my opinion. Fast forward to 2017 and the same crummy product was put on the field on a weekly basis and it got worse by the week. Thankfully Coach Mac stuck his foot in his mouth and opened the door for you and the administration to make a move. To your credit, you and the administration seized that opportunity, jettisoned a horrible head football coach and did so at what appears to be a fraction of the total buyout. I saluted you and the administration with kudos for this move and I had hoped that this was a new beginning at the Athletic Dept. In regards to football at UF (I repeat, football), there has been exactly ZERO leadership within the administration or on the football staff.

Given that the change was made mid season I was hopeful that thorough research could be done into legitimate candidates, and that we would not implore the lazy way out of just looking at records or being biased to someone who had worked, coached or been an assistant manager here. So I returned today from my holiday weekend to be informed that Dan Mullen is going to be the next Head Football Coach at my beloved UF. After getting over hours of shock and pure disdain and disappointment, I found a steady enough hand to politely send you my honest opinion. I moved to this town 2 years ago to retire because I enjoy Gator sports and wanted to go to games, etc. I have been to all the home football games since I arrived with the exception of this past weekend. I was so hopeful that when you took the initiative with the administration to settle the Coach Mac issue that there was finally "A new sheriff in town" at the UAA in regards to football. But upon learning that Dan Mullen will be the next coach, all I could say was "same song, different day". For the past 20 or so years here, when a major decision had to be made regarding the football program, the one trait that was clearly apparent and always exhibited by the former AD, Jeremy Foley, was PANIC!. Well sadly, in my humble opinion, in your short time at UF, you have learned very well that trait of PANIC (regarding football), in allowing Dan Mullen to become the head football coach. I realize that a decision this monumental is not solely on your shoulders, but as AD, I know that you are in charge of putting all those together who will weigh in on the decision, be it administration and boosters. I just want to say that personally I think this is and will be an awful hire, regardless of what his record was as head coach at MSU or where Mullen was an assistant or coached/learned under. I have seen plenty of Dan Mullen coached games and think he is terrible at game management and have never been impressed with the fundamental soundness of the way his teams play.

Of all the names that were thrown out now for weeks, whether they be legitimate or just in jest, I personally made a promise to myself that if Dan Mullen were to become UF's head coach, that I could not bring myself to personally attend a football game while Mullen was the coach. Now I know you do not personally care about one or two, etc. fan's personal opinions, but I am guessing you will be receiving numerous emails, calls or correspondences similar to mine. I also know that there will be plenty of people who are in favor of the Mullen hire, and we are all entitled to our personal opinion. Rest assured if Dan Mullen proves to be successful as the head football coach at UF in the way that our fans expect, I will personally write you and tell you I was incorrect and congratulate you. However if I (and others) am correct in my opinions regarding Dan Mullen and his coaching acumen at UF, I hope that you will stand up and graciously admit the mistake. I will humbly root for the players and the team, but I just can't bring myself to financially support the program being that I am so adamantly against Dan Mullen at UF.

Thank you again for being somewhat proactive with Coach Mac. I wish I felt the same about our apparent new head football coach at UF.

Sincerely,
Please say it isn't so! >
 

GatorInGeorgia

Senior Member
Lifetime Member
Aug 25, 2014
6,340
7,068
This is an HOF post and a Imo great should be it's own thread.

What else should be on the entrance exam for the next coach:

Do you think peanut butter sandwiches are more important than recruiting?

Do you think the best defense is zero offense?

Do you think that Time of Possession is more important than winning?

Do you think Total Yards is more important than winning?

Do you have a Fat Dwag DC you intend to hire?

Are you a Dwag? Null?

Do you think you should take half of the year off on vacation?

Do you think Bowl Prep weeks are better spent at home with the family?

Do you often smile after losing to less talented teams because you forgot to prepare again?




Help me out, there have to be more.

Have you ever been caught on film humping a shark…or any other animal for that matter?

Do you have or plan on starting your own line of BBQ sauces?

Are you more concerned about the popcorn sales in the concession stands or the performance of your team?

Will you wear socks to your first media interview after being hired?

Do you feel that being great at thumb wrestling is worthy of bragging about at a post game interview?

Are you an avid Star Wars fan?

Do you think it’s important to pay attention to the game so you see your DB throw a shoe downfield & cost you a game…you know, so you can rip him a new one? Not that this would ever happen.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Help Users

You haven't joined any rooms.

    Members online

    Forum statistics

    Threads
    31,688
    Messages
    1,621,394
    Members
    1,643
    Latest member
    A2xGator