Story Time

AuggieDosta said:

Fess up Deuce.

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Okeechobee Joe said:

There was a court case that concerned a farmer who had filed for medical insurance payment after he had run into some cows that had wandered out in the middle of a country highway and suffered a whiplash neck injury. The insurance company was refusing to pay and the farmer had taken them to court in a dispute to force them to pay his hospital bill. In court that day the insurance company's lawyer was badgering the old farmer. The attorney asked the old farmer, "Is it true that at the accident scene that your exact words were 'I'm doing fine' when you were asked how you were doing?"

The farmer said, "That's right but let me explain. I was coming over a hill" when he was abruptly interrupted by the lawyer. The lawyer said "Look, I don't care whether you were coming over a hill or you were driving on flat land, all I want to know is did you say you were fine when you were asked how you were doing at the scene of the accident.. I have proof that is what you told the highway patrolman because it's in his report. Now just answer my question."

Well, the old farmer was getting exasperated. He put his head down, rubbed his sore neck, and proclaimed in a louder voice, "Now hear me out just a minute. I was coming over a hill and I couldn't stop in time to avoid hitting the cows. I got out of my car to see what had happened. It was in the early hours of the morning, out in the middle of nowhere. The scene was a mess with injured cattle and debris strewn everywhere. Shortly after that a highway patrolman came speeding to the scene with blue lights flashing and sirens going full blast. The patrolman slammed on his brakes and jumped out of the patrol car. He immediately saw this cow that was severely injured and was staggering around loudly mooing in obvious pain. The patrolman planted his feet in a wide two point stance, whipped out his pistol, held it with two hands and shot the poor cow right between the eyes. The cow let out one last groan and immediately dropped dead right there on the side of the road in front of me and the highway patrolman."

"The patrolman was obviously rattled and agitated by what had happened. He next pointed the gun at me, looked me in the eye and shouted, ' Now you, you sunavabitch, how in the hell are you doing.' I raised my hands above my head and said 'Me? Why I'm doing fine sir. "

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bradgator2 said:

I will admit I tried something for ass crack hair removal. But I figured I was smart and was not going to make all these rookie mistakes. I actually wrote a story about it in the old “worst mistakes you have done” thread. I cannot relive the emotional trauma of that day and attempt to find that post or worse... rewrite it.

All I will say is dont try Nair.

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g8tr72 said:

Reminds me of......

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