- Jul 15, 2014
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- 47,218
I present to you the Jboss Twins
- Thread starter Jbossgator8
- Start date
- Jun 9, 2014
- 78,387
- 110,686
Founding Member
- Aug 11, 2015
- 8,289
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Gob bless your boys and your family. May they sleep at the same times. Savor every day.
- Jun 12, 2014
- 7,125
- 6,185
Founding Member
- Jun 12, 2014
- 9,552
- 25,226
Founding Member
- Jun 9, 2014
- 78,387
- 110,686
Founding Member
Ancient Reptile
Senior Member
- Mar 4, 2015
- 10,796
- 11,119
- Jul 19, 2014
- 1,078
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- Jun 12, 2014
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Founding Member
- Jun 12, 2014
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Founding Member
- Sep 4, 2014
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Congrats, boss. Hope you and the whole family are well. And enjoy the ride. Because even the sleepless nights and occasional chaos will be a fond memory someday.
- Jun 11, 2014
- 4,834
- 8,299
Founding Member
BruceWayne
Well-Known Member
- Dec 12, 2016
- 877
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- Jun 12, 2014
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Founding Member
Well done dude! Congratulations, you're in for a wild ride, my friend.
Three pieces of advice regarding diapers. (What I say here may seem confusing now, but will make perfect sense later on, I assure you):
1) Stop biting your nails. I learned this the hard way.
2) Never change a diaper with your eyes closed or while yawning. I also learned this the hard way. (BTW, you may not realize this now, but most of your waking hours for the next few years will be spent either yawning or with your eyes closed.)
3) Diaper Genie. Great idea, right? WRONG. If you don't know what one of these things is, it essentially turns your baby's poo into an endless series of link sausage. You simply drop the disgusting, soiled, smelly, awful diaper into the Genie, close the lid and voilà it disappears into the contraption's 50-ft long plastic bag repository which will coil inside the innards of the device like an elephant's intestinal tract, seemingly never to be heard from again.
That's the attractive part. I used this soul-sucking device for four years before I realized how screwed up my life had become because of it. Even if you're one of those hyper-organized dudes who has everything on a schedule (which I am not), when it comes to the chore of emptying the Diaper Genie (and, by the way, this task always falls on the father), the overpowering stench, the sh!t eating gnats going up your nose, and the gagging that accompanies the effort is almost unbearable. When you lack sleep, lack basic reasoning skills, lack any sense of time and space, as all new fathers do, the accumulation of diapers can go on for weeks without you realizing it. At that point, the weight of the "sausage links" alone makes the task of emptying this monster difficult, and if you don't vomit during the process, consider yourself lucky. Whatsmore, it needs to be cleaned out and sprayed with Lysol every time you dump it. The "odor proof" lid on it is so effective that it traps a volatile and noxious combination of ammonia and methane that becomes embedded in its interior walls.
When I finally realized I'd had it, I threw the God awful thing, nasty sausage links and all into the garbage pile for trash collection. I can only imagine the vermin that tried to get into it that night and the horror they must have discovered. From that point on, I had a stack of plastic Publix bags next to a very small diaper pale. I wrapped the diapers up in the bags and threw them in the pale. When the pale was full, (about every other day), I simply emptied it into a large trash bag for disposal. This could be the most valuable piece of advice you ever get. Go forth and do likewise, my friend. Go forth and do likewise.
Three pieces of advice regarding diapers. (What I say here may seem confusing now, but will make perfect sense later on, I assure you):
1) Stop biting your nails. I learned this the hard way.
2) Never change a diaper with your eyes closed or while yawning. I also learned this the hard way. (BTW, you may not realize this now, but most of your waking hours for the next few years will be spent either yawning or with your eyes closed.)
3) Diaper Genie. Great idea, right? WRONG. If you don't know what one of these things is, it essentially turns your baby's poo into an endless series of link sausage. You simply drop the disgusting, soiled, smelly, awful diaper into the Genie, close the lid and voilà it disappears into the contraption's 50-ft long plastic bag repository which will coil inside the innards of the device like an elephant's intestinal tract, seemingly never to be heard from again.
That's the attractive part. I used this soul-sucking device for four years before I realized how screwed up my life had become because of it. Even if you're one of those hyper-organized dudes who has everything on a schedule (which I am not), when it comes to the chore of emptying the Diaper Genie (and, by the way, this task always falls on the father), the overpowering stench, the sh!t eating gnats going up your nose, and the gagging that accompanies the effort is almost unbearable. When you lack sleep, lack basic reasoning skills, lack any sense of time and space, as all new fathers do, the accumulation of diapers can go on for weeks without you realizing it. At that point, the weight of the "sausage links" alone makes the task of emptying this monster difficult, and if you don't vomit during the process, consider yourself lucky. Whatsmore, it needs to be cleaned out and sprayed with Lysol every time you dump it. The "odor proof" lid on it is so effective that it traps a volatile and noxious combination of ammonia and methane that becomes embedded in its interior walls.
When I finally realized I'd had it, I threw the God awful thing, nasty sausage links and all into the garbage pile for trash collection. I can only imagine the vermin that tried to get into it that night and the horror they must have discovered. From that point on, I had a stack of plastic Publix bags next to a very small diaper pale. I wrapped the diapers up in the bags and threw them in the pale. When the pale was full, (about every other day), I simply emptied it into a large trash bag for disposal. This could be the most valuable piece of advice you ever get. Go forth and do likewise, my friend. Go forth and do likewise.
