This guy is my hero. He stalks some kid through his bedroom window at night to intimidate him, as he's afraid he might get exposed for his multi...um...dollar scam. He snags bass and keeps their dying, listless slimy bodies in a fish well so he can win $137 at some local tourney full of clueless bumpkins. He travels across two counties with a hot dying fish in his backseat, so he can falsify some obscure lake record with a fish that is not even close to native in that lake. He picks up someone else's fish for a photo and then claims it as his own so he can set some other obscure lake record. He buys a huge aquarium to breed fish that he can stick in another well so he can win yet another obscure lake record. My god, if he ever put his mind and efforts to good use, like creating a Ponzi scheme, running a staged-auto accident ring, or taking his meager winnings and putting a down payment on a sober home scam, he'd actually be able to look back at his life and say he made some money.
