Apparently Millennials are more lonely...

I guess I’m an older millennial, so I will comment - I have about 2 or 3 friends which is honestly more than I can handle with work, wife, and two kids. I have tons of acquaintances, but the truly solid friendship that means more - a few is all I need and want. Perhaps the 22% feel the same as I do and actually have some friends, just not a massive social group?

I joke with the family (very talkative extroverts, all of them) about how I have no friends. I have acquaintances as mentioned by ExecG, but nobody I really want to hang out with. I suppose that's the key, I'm never lonely or wanting the company of others. There's a few guys I may play golf with a few times, but hanging out is typically done with the other husband while my wife drags me over to be social. Then again, I'm near 50 and don't qualify as a millennial.

I would venture to guess they didn't learn the right socializing skills (how to make and retain friends) given a life spent mostly staring at their phone.

TLB said:

I have no friends

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My twins are millennials and both have significant others with whom they spend the majority of their time. One was outgoing and had a wide circle of friends while the other had a much smaller one.
But now in their mid-twenties they both could use a couple of close guy friends. Nothing against their gals, but having close male relationships is healthy for all concerned. They need a balance-

Maybe because Facebook friends aren’t the same as actual face to face relationships?

I want to get the take of @I Have No Friends :( before I opine....

g8tr72 said:

I want to get the take of @I Have No Friends :( before I opine....

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People suck. With that in mind:

The rise of the internet, social media, and online gaming created more avenues to scratch the social interaction itch without having to physically interact with people in real life. It doesn't surprise me in the least that the Millennials, a group raised by helicopter parents, participation trophies, and a lack of personal responsibility would turn to an alternative form of social interaction where they could have more control over their environment and interactions.

I don't really care to get into the arguments over whether this is healthy or not, as it largely depends on the personality makeup of the individual and how it effects their mental health. Introverts thrive in an online environment where they can find social interaction those times they need it, but then not have to worry about the unwanted social interactions that come with real life friends. Extroverts on the other hand could suffer greatly if they're unable to find real life friends to interact with on a regular basis, seeing how their mental health is sustained through human interaction. This one example barely scratches the surface of the "healthy or not" argument, which will continue to wage long after I'm dead.

Now to answer your real question: No, I'm not a millennial (Gen X'er here), but I do date them. Millennial men are zero competition ;)

g8tr72 said:

I want to get the take of @I Have No Friends :( before I opine....

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I was thinking the same thing. My theory on friends is they are like family but you get to choose them. I have a few close friends but their health is getting worse all the time. My brother is a close friend. My two oldest have good friends they interact with, I told my students often that you cannot have too many friends.

stephenPE said:

I was thinking the same thing. My theory on friends is they are like family but you get to choose them. I have a few close friends but their health is getting worse all the time. My brother is a close friend. My two oldest have good friends they interact with, I told my students often that you cannot have too many friends.

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As we get older it gets harder to have "good friends" or "close friends", but I think if you're not a complete a-hole it's easy to have a group of friends. Once you get a family, move, work, etc it's harder and harder to maintain relationships - it's work.

It's inexcusable for young people not to have good friends, what else the F are they doing? Oh yeah, social media, the internet, gaming, vaping, being a douchebag, etc.

My son is a millineal (he'll be 27 next month). He has a ton of friends and is very social, doesn't have social media, rarely plays video games, etc. He likes to surf and fish, and he does those activities with his buddies. I wish more kids were like him.

They don't belong to:
Clubs
Teams
Church
And many can't carry on a conversation

You do the math.

I have had a lot of "friends" over my many years in life, however, only count 3 as very close friends. If you end up in life with a couple of true-blue close friends, consider yourself real fortunate.

Their mobile device is all the friends they need.

I'm technically a millennial in age, if not necessarily attitude.

I can safely say this isn't a problem for me; but can see why and where others in my generation struggle with it.

Still actively playing adult league sports and being active in my church ensures I'm not mindlessly watching tv at home most nights; and I'm always down to grab a drink with close friends or casual acquaintances. There really isn't a substitute for making connections with people.

Gator By Marriage said:

The story is from Vox and didn't go to deep into the survey's methodology, but apparently 22% of millennials say they have no friends. That number seems crazy high to me. Any thoughts?

https://getpocket.com/redirect?&url=https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2019/8/1/20750047/millennials-poll-loneliness&h=5c6aa027bdcf7a4da37bdb9b018adad0f3e5cd4a4eed2b93fc5cb7cf75e037ab&nt=d44Xjk2cd4eWowI

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I think is low in reality. Many people think social media "friends" are friends. In fact many probably do not know what a real friend is.
I had a real good role model in my life with my father. He had LOTS of friends. He kept in touch with much of our extended family and
others he had picked up along the way of his 87 yrs. My brothers and I brought home lots of friends and he treated them just like family, sometimes to their amazement at how he would shove that cigarette or beer up their ass if they didn't have sense enough to avoid that stuff.

My dad would turn 89 tomorrow if he was still with us. I cannot stress too much the importance of father's in the lives of children. I hung out with little kids most of my adult life. Literally hundreds that grew up without a dad or father figure. Sometimes I think I became that figure. You could see it in their faces, boys and girls, how much approval they craved from an adult. How much they wanted to show you or tell you how well they had done on something. It occurs to me at this instant, this late in life, that my job was 75% cheer leader. I guess I should have realized it long before as I was chosen "most school spirit" as a senior. I still think those nine varsity letters I earned in three sports made me most athletic. But I loved Anthony (Wolf) Crawford and he was a great choice (RIP).
Fathers are unique in that they are supposed to be strong but soft with kids. It is a fine line. For instance my youngest and I are doing lots with her back handsprings and then binge watching Harry Potter. But last night I had to say no. School night and I told her I want to READ book three so I can better keep up with the story line in the movie. Saying no was not easy. How many more times will my 12 yr old want to do something together?
These are the things I know for sure. Children need our attention. They need reassurance they are loved and valued and worthy. If your young ones come to you to talk stop what you are doing if possible and LISTEN...........Don't jump in with advice or corrections right away. LET them talk. Encourage them to examine what they are talking and even go beyond the initial idea. They are not hear just for our entertainment. It is our duty to nurture them and give them a safe place till they can deal with the world. But also to keep them from making REAL bad choices.
Maybe it is my age and knowing this is my last young child. I want to hold on to each moment as they come and not miss a chance to connect. I know how much fun I had with my dad on vacations and fishing trips and all the things families used to do before the world accelerated beyond my ability to stay focused.
My dad was raised by two people born in the 19th century. He learned things that if not gone completely are quickly disappearing. I loved to hear him tell stories about his childhood and military days. He was not a perfect father but as fathers go he was top 10 easily. I have made errors in parenthood, manhood and relationships. I am not proud of of some of it. But I love my children and family and those I chose to be family. Kids don't come with instructions. But if you pay attention and listen and do what is right it should be wonderful thing.

I just got this on FB from a former student. Out of the blue she posted it on her timeline. Im taking it as a sign to get off my ass and be more productive...........

I had a dream I was trying to please or apologize to everyone in my past who was ever upset with me & coach Steve pulled me to the side & said “you have to stop this. Anyone who doesn’t respect you will never make you happy. You have to let go of the old, to make room for the new. Stop wasting your heart on people who don’t deserve it”

This is why good teachers are sooo important. My coach from elementary school implanted in my head as a child, that I’m worthy & to never let others make you feel small. Even in my mid-twenties his words are still in my subconscious-ness & help me in my adulthood.

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She is one of those millennials that is struggling. An amazing young girl. She graduated college a few years ago. Her passion is art. I hope she can find a way to live and continue her art.............