Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

gingerlover

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Holidate (Netflix) - Date night movie and actually pretty funny. Emma Roberts stars in what is best described as a very vulgar Hallmark movie. Basically she meets a guy that is only her dates for holidays and then Hallmark things happen with lots of vulgarity at times. Not that bad for a night with the wife and has a few moments it had me laughing out loud. 6.5/10

Safety (Disney Plus) - The movie about the Clemson football player who adopted his kid brother. Was kind of weird with certain name changes and of course its complete fluff. The quality of this movie is perfect for a streaming service. This would have been a Saturday night movie on cable if not for streaming. The only person you might notice is that the guy who played the ahole in The Wedding Singer plays baby Bowden. Its not bad if you go in with the expectations of a made for tv movie. 6/10

Force of Nature (Amazon Prime) - Man how far Mel Gibson has fallen. Read Bruce Willis was originally the star which explains a lot considering he just takes on any crap to earn a buck these days. There is a hurricane and cops are sent to evacuate a building. One of the residents is former cop Gibson. While there the building is under siege by thieves after paintings in one residents apartments. Now they all have to escape alive. Everything about this movie is bad. Not as bad as Mandy aparently, but bad. Bad script, bad acting, etc. Also stars Emile Hirsh and Kate Bosworth (two more who have fallen quickly). 4/10

Hillbilly Eligy (Netflix) - Amy Adams and Glen Close star in this. Based on the memoir of the guy who wrote a book about growing up in the poor town and then graduating from Yale. The story goes back and forth showing his upraising by his abusive and drugged out mom and grandmother while in the present he is trying to get his mom into rehab, while also balancing school. This film is very well done. Most Netflix films you can tell have a lesser quality than theatrical movies, but in the drama section they can hide that well. They did with this one. Ron Howard directs and Amy Adams does a great job, but Glen Close is fantastic as the fiery grandmother. At the end it shows real photos and she is as spitting image. Both me and wife enjoyed this one. 8/10. This one should be considered for awards, but will be overlooked because it shows flyover country.
 

Alumni Guy

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Operation Odessa-Netflix documentary.

It’s a documentary about some drug dealers/gun runners, Russian mafia guys who conspire to sell a Soviet Era submarine to the Cali Cartel for drug smuggling. Well, that’s how it’s advertised, but the submarine story only takes up the back 40% of the movie.

If you liked cocaine Cowboys, you’ll love this one. I thought it was better.

Tarzan, the main “character”, owned Porky’s a strip club in Miami and was connected to the Russian Mob. He’s as funny as they get.

There’s also a smattering of boobs it as well which never hurts

Really, the story is so bananas, I thought it might be false. It’s real.

The helicopter flight in Russia story is an instant classic.

Highly recommend: 8.5/10.
 

gingerlover

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..like Blabo Sweeney or Trina Lawrence?
Dabo is completely omitted. Not sure why or if it has to do with the NCAA looking at this as a recruitment tool. I think back to the Blind Side having coaches, but of course at the time none of them were still at the school they were when the movie came out. He is replaced by generic Brad Simmons, but of course is made to look like one of the best people on earth.
 

TLB

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Operation Odessa-Netflix documentary.

Operation Odessa (2018 ) <Netflix>

AG nailed the plot summary, so I'll skip that bit. For me, I thought it was a fictional documentary, or at least based on real events and filmed with actors...until they kept using photos and videos from the era, so I checked credits and everyone in the film IS the person telling events from their perspective. It's told pretty well, as they bring in characters and have them speak on certain events, it does well unfolding somewhat slowly with old stories to get to the main selling point of 'submarine bought for Cali cartel'. I tend to refer to films or situations as 'delicious' as they seem just so uhhhnnn and you want to savor it. This one, I'd prefer to call tasty, in that it was light, fluffy, flavorful, and no bad aftertaste. Good film, would recommend. 8/10
 

TLB

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RV (2006) <Netflix>

I'm pretty sure I've seen this before, but watched it again anyways. It's a family feel good film, starring Robin Williams (I'd forgotten, so a bit of a shock considering he died recently) as a business guy doing marketing for big bad soda corp. Company wants to acquire mom'n'pop sodas in Colorado so the boss says cancel your family vacay in Hawaii and be there. Williams lies to his wife and kids, and says it's a bonding trip to drive in an RV for the week - as he tries to sneak time on his laptop, search for cell reception to send it as preview to the boss, has consistent run ins with the too sweet family headed by Jeff Daniels and Kristen Chenoweth. It's a family film, full of situational, slapstick, gross, and other family acceptable humor. The two wives are faces you'll know, but neither have major roles in their past....though Chenoweth spends a few minutes bouncing cleavage at us near the end, so there's that for the adult males in the audience. Williams goes endures hell throughout the film, then we wrap up with a mea cupla to the family and a teaching moment for his kids (not yours, his), and a happy ending. Good film if you're with the family and kids. A few minutes of bouncing cleavage if you're on your own. For a family movie 7.5/10, for a guy flick 2/10.
 

gingerlover

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The Christmas Chronicles 2 (Netflix) - Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn as Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Picks up a few years after the first one and the young girl is having trouble accepting her mom is going to remarry. A naughty elf sets out to use her as a way to ruin Christmas. Can the kids help Santa save Christmas?

This one is a pretty good family film. Just enough crap CGI for the kids to love and a fun story with a cool Santa. I have always thought Kurt Russell was underrated and he seems to enjoy almost every role he has taken. Seems like both he and Hawn are having a good time. 6/10

Guest House (Netflix) - Pauley Shore stars as a guy who is squatting in the guest house of a home a young couple just bought. Hi-jinks happen as they try to get rid of him. Watched purely for the train wreck and was not completely dissapointed. Has way to many dick jokes, but a good pool party scene with lots of boobs. Also has the daughter from Friday Night Lights who has grown up to be smoking hot. 4/10

Enola Holmes (Netflix) - the younger sister of Sherlock (Eleven from Stranger Things) rows up with just their eccentric mom educating her. When mom goes missing she is turned over to her brothers. Mycroft wants her to go to reform school and Sherlock thinks she should be allowed to think freely. She escapes and begins following her mothers clues and unravel a mystery.

Not that bad and can be watched as a family with older kids. 7/10

Wonder Woman 1984 (HBO Max) - Where to start. This isn't horrible, but not very good either especially coming off how good the first one was. Villains are cheap, plot is bad, effects are bad, etc. They at least explain the Steve Trevor thing well, but man they have no emotion in the times it is needed. They compare this to Thor: The Dark World, but it isn't even close to Thor at its worst. 5/10. I think there is a reason they didn't have a problem putting it on HBO Max. No way it was going to perform well at the box office even if COVID hadn't happened.
 

ThreatMatrix

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Wonder Women 1984 (HBOMax) Gal Gadot is in this... which is the only reason to slog through this two and a half hour Hallmark TV movie. They let a girl write and direct this and it shows. The action scenes are few, far between and terrible. What we do get is a lot of angst, longing and personal discovery. Sooo... Gal and Kristen Wiig work in the same Museum when Wiig receives some artifacts including a wish crystal dildo. Coincidentally Pedro Pascal shows up in a horrible toupee to play a white guy who's ponzi scheme oil company is about to be exposed.
Gal and Wiig believe the artifact to be fake. However, Gal wishes on it to have Steve (Chris Pine) back. And Wiig wishes on it to be like Gal and Pedro knows that the crystal is real and obtains it from Wiig. Pedro wishes for.... infinite wishes. I kid you not. Gal figures that infinite wishes are a bad thing so her and Steve are off on the great Crystal Heist. I could go on and on much like the movie but I'll spare you. Interestingly, they allow Gal to stretch her acting chops. Gal Gadot as an actress, I can say with much conviction is very very pretty.
Joe Bob says... your wife should check it out,
 

ThreatMatrix

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Just watched Wonder Woman 1984.

Wanted some escapism after the Heat game but this movie sucked so bad that I didn't escape from sh*t. Whoever the hell cast The Target Lady from SNL as an arch-supervillian must've had a wonderful sense of humor. I enjoyed the Heat game more and they lost by 47 points.

tumblr_n639kvGtks1rdutw3o1_400.gif

She was the director's first choice believe it or not. The smart people went after Emma Stone but she wisely turned them down. The whole Cheetah character could be eliminated from the plot and it wouldn't have made a difference.
TBF it's not a horrible movie. It's just mediocre compared to the first Wonder Woman which was pretty good.
 

G8trwood

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I thought the first one was bad too. Other than Gal. Way too much emphasis on cinematography and CGI over dialogue and plot
 

Detroitgator

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Sounds like I can save everyone 2 hours... go to the 1:56 mark, you'll see enough at her peak hotness (and in Knight and Day)
 

TLB

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The Midnight Sky (2020 ) <Netflix>


Latest Clooney film, getting a lot of push on Netflix recently. I'll start by saying I was bought in a bit more because Clooney looks a LOT like my stepfather with the facial hair....but my stepfather is bald, and very annoying (not quiet at all). Ok, film opens with a Clooney in his 60's at an outpost in the Artic Circle that is being evacuated. Passing comments is that he has to do daily transfusions for some unknown ailment or he'll die in days. Flashback to his 20's when he met a woman, she got pregnant and didn't tell him, he proclaims there are livable planets and many exploration missions are launched. Back to reality, he's doddering around alone for days when he discovers a small child left behind who won't talk. He takes care of her, trying to contact any returning space missions, as the global catastrophe (undefined) is spreading an making the world uninhabitable. It reaches his post, he grabs the girl and heads for Lake Hazen, a weather station further north. Aether is the lone returning space ship, which runs into it's own issues along the way. He makes contact, explains the situation, half the crew jettison to earth to be with their family while half remain on the ship to slingshot to a different space station in hopes of ... we don't know, it isn't really explained.

I never saw Gravity (2013) with Bullock that so many people said dragged forever, so I can't compare. However, this one drags, a lot. There's a bit of drama as he races with the child to Lake Hazen, and a bit of excitement and drama as Aether deals with it's space issues. But overall, there's a slow pace and dreary soundtrack to just bring you down overall. There are a few wrinkles to what I've laid out, mostly you kinda feel them coming and they aren't that poignant but I'm sure they were expected to be THE point of the film since it left you with a bit of a lame and depressing ending. The only real positive I'll give it is some special effects with the space ship's issues, and an effectively depressing end of the world as we know it (not exactly what I was looking for, just bought into the hype of something more significant and was left wanting). 4/10.
 

TLB

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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

For those not familiar, this was the sequel to the OG Family Vacation, but garnered a bit more of a cult following, especially during the holidays. So, I figured I'd give it another spin. For those that have never seen it, there's some pretty funny parts even today. However, it very much shows it's age (think "Trading Places" era). Chevy Chase plays the central role of father attempting to have a nice family Christmas like he had growing up. He's crapped on by the boss at work, has no support from his apathetic kids, the wife tries her best for "Aw, Clark..." support. His parents are there, encouraging and saying they are sure he meant well, while his in-laws are also present pointing out at every turn what a loser he is. Then, there is Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid, perfect choice) and his trailerpark trash family that show up unexpectedly as well. Throw together some Christmas mishaps, tremendous effort on Clark's part, and you've got a good family comedy that anyone born after 1990 has no interest in watching. At all. There's nostalgia for us old farts. If you're ok with old films, you could do worse. Otherwise, skip it (maybe try the original?). Nostalgia for me bumps this from a 5 to a 5.5/10.
 

TLB

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AVA (2020) on Netflix: Starring Jessica Chastain with John Malkovich and Colin Ferrell. The trailer for this advertised it as an Atomic Blonde type spy thriller. So there was some hope for seeing the lovely Jessica Chastain in hot outfits but that was not to be. The plot focuses a bit more on Chastain's back story. Malkovich does not get enough screen time nor does Colin Ferrell. The plots a little slow, the fight scenes are okay but limited. No boobs. Joe Bob says check it out.

Ava (2020 ) <Netflix>

Yeah, what he said. All of what he said. For me, it had some stars (Mlakovich and Ferrell) and failed to use them effectively. It had Geena Davis and used her too much, but not for a point. Some decent fight scenes, scattered about with a lot of her family drama. I, unlike Joe Bob, will not say 'check it out', but 'skip'. 5/10.
 

Gatorbreath

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I watched The Outpost recently. Based on a book written to describe real events of the Battle of Kamdesh, this is a story of a remote, small American outpost in a deep valley in the Hindu Kush Afghan mountain range. There are no actors in it that I've ever heard of except what amounts to a cameo by Orlando Bloom. Much of the movie is a battle where the base of 50 or so Americans are forced to repel an attack by approximately 1000 Taliban fighters. The Americans fought bravely - lots of medals were awarded including two CMHs. In addition to the bravery displayed by our troops, the absolute insanity of how we fought this war is shown. First, willingly placing our servicemen in literally undefensible strategic positions for essentially no good reason - like at the bottom of a valley surrounded 360 degrees by steep mountains essentially creating targets for a shooting range and secondly, the insane rules of engagement where our troops almost had to walk up to the enemy with the AK and ask them if they are our enemy before they could fire back. McChrystal and all the others in both the Bush and Obama administrations that fought wars like woke politicians should be in prisons, IMO, but I digress. This is not Band of Brothers or Private Ryan level, but it was OK.

I also watched the first Lord of the Rings movie for the first time. Given its popularity, I know my opinion will be in a tiny minority, but it was long, convoluted and the ending was downright infuriating. I do not plan to watch the sequels, though the book has long been on my list to tackle. I'll get to it someday.
 

Spurdog98

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DO NOT waste your time on the Clooney movie on Netflix...sci-fi Earth is doomed lets all go to one of Jupiters moons. blah, blah. Horrible
 

ThreatMatrix

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The Midnight Sky (2020 ) <Netflix>


Latest Clooney film, getting a lot of push on Netflix recently. I'll start by saying I was bought in a bit more because Clooney looks a LOT like my stepfather with the facial hair....but my stepfather is bald, and very annoying (not quiet at all). Ok, film opens with a Clooney in his 60's at an outpost in the Artic Circle that is being evacuated. Passing comments is that he has to do daily transfusions for some unknown ailment or he'll die in days. Flashback to his 20's when he met a woman, she got pregnant and didn't tell him, he proclaims there are livable planets and many exploration missions are launched. Back to reality, he's doddering around alone for days when he discovers a small child left behind who won't talk. He takes care of her, trying to contact any returning space missions, as the global catastrophe (undefined) is spreading an making the world uninhabitable. It reaches his post, he grabs the girl and heads for Lake Hazen, a weather station further north. Aether is the lone returning space ship, which runs into it's own issues along the way. He makes contact, explains the situation, half the crew jettison to earth to be with their family while half remain on the ship to slingshot to a different space station in hopes of ... we don't know, it isn't really explained.

I never saw Gravity (2013) with Bullock that so many people said dragged forever, so I can't compare. However, this one drags, a lot. There's a bit of drama as he races with the child to Lake Hazen, and a bit of excitement and drama as Aether deals with it's space issues. But overall, there's a slow pace and dreary soundtrack to just bring you down overall. There are a few wrinkles to what I've laid out, mostly you kinda feel them coming and they aren't that poignant but I'm sure they were expected to be THE point of the film since it left you with a bit of a lame and depressing ending. The only real positive I'll give it is some special effects with the space ship's issues, and an effectively depressing end of the world as we know it (not exactly what I was looking for, just bought into the hype of something more significant and was left wanting). 4/10.
Fell asleep watching that one. Guess I won't bother watching the ending.
 

TLB

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I'm about ready for 'vacation/lockdown' to be over. I'm watching too many movies....



Redemption (2013) <Netflix>

Jason Statham opens the film living in a cardboard box on the streets of London as some local thugs are shaking down bums row for any money and drugs. He gets in a fight with the thugs, runs, falls into some empty luxury apartment while the girl he shares a box with gets taken by the thugs to go to 'work' (prostitution) for awhile. While there are a few Statham dustups with fast fists and bones crunching, they are few. We spend most of the film with him pulling himself together using this luxury apartment (the clothes, the bank card....the resident is in NYC until October as we learn from the answering machine). Statham cleaning up, trying to help out the nun who fed all the street bums....do they flirt, do they connect, can she make him a good man, can he make her taste real life...ehhhh. The action side of the film has him doing thug work for the Chinese while he searches for some rich guy that got rough and killed his box-mate. Sprinkle in some PTSD and flashbacks from his days with Elite Forces (of course) and we wonder if he is truly nuts or able to focus during this 'cleaned up' period. If you want typical Statham action, this isn't quite that. If you want him searching for the peace of a tormented and violent past, this plays at it but isn't quite that. If you want a sexy nun, this definitely isn't that. Bottom line, save your time and watch something else. 5/10.
 

TLB

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Ghost Rider (2007) <Netflix>

Son wanted to watch a super hero movie, and he'd asked about this one. I'd seen it before, and was sorely disappointed in my earlier viewing, but for the boy, I'd watch it again. Maybe some of my distaste for the film was because this was one of my top 2-3 comic books growing up, and Nick Cage just doesn't pull it off.

Nick Cage again (groan), but with Eva Mendes as the love interest (yay!), and Wes Bentley as the evil son of Satan "Blackheart" (who?). Oh, and a small roll for Sam Elliot (as the previous generation Ghost Rider, the horse one) and Peter Fonda as Mephistopheles (The Devil Himself). Film opens with a young Johnny Blaze helping his stunt riding dad at the shows and Eva as 'Roxie' in the stands. Dad gets cancer, Devil shows up to make a deal with Johnny to clear the cancer in return for his soul. Johnny doesn't believe this old guy and signs anyway. Next morning, dad is 'strong as a horse' and feeling great....is it true? Then dad dies that afternoon of a crash, and the Devil laughs into the sunset saying he'll be back when he needs Johnny for something. Johnny ditches the girl and goes on to be his own stunt super rider. JB and the girl connect later, Blackheart escapes hell and rounds up some demons to help take over the earth, and Fonda....er, the Devil, shows up to call Johnny to work. Oh, what bad timing. It's not explained why the Devil can't reign in his son, Blackheart, or deal with the demons, but he sends JB to go collect them and return them to hell as the Ghost Rider. Fight, fight, fight, and a boss showdown with Roxie pitching in (she now accepts GR is part of who JB is) and Devil says 'JB you paid your debt, I'll take back the power and let you have your soul, your life back." JB says he's keeping the power of the GR and will use it to come back on the Devil anytime innocent blood is spilled. Cage does this in a longer dialogue but it still sucks. So, overall review. Marvel fandom scale is 1.5/10. Sexy Eva is worth a point, even though we never really see anything. All the actors, the action, plotline and dialogue drag this back down. Overall 3.5/10 (and yes, I'm still bitter they cast Cage as GR....they even made a sequel).
 

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