August In Fla Sucks, Change My Mind

Alumni Guy

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Nov 7, 2015
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August sucks.

It’s so damn hot: all you can really do is move from one air conditioned spot to another. If you leave your car parked outside for more than an hour, the interior is hotter than Hades.

Im lucky to have a pool, but in August it magically turns into a bath tub with close to 90 degree water.

Oh, you found something you like to do outside: it’s going to rain at 2:00. Guaranteed. And, when it’s done raining the heat evaporates the water and the humidity hits close to 100%. Makes yard work fun.

So, you’re stuck inside, let’s watch some sports. Nope: football’s a month away, and Baseball sucks and it’s too early for the pennant race. No Golf either.

Electric Bill’s an extra $100/month.

August sucks.
 

alcoholica

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iu
 

Bushmaster

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And I had just talked my wife into moving to Florida when we retire.......

I guess I need to find somewhere else to go.
 

bradgator2

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I have lived in Florida for 39 of my 45 years on this planet. Rub some fuching dirt in it. Most of the time, 6pm-8pm is the primetime to get in some yard work or exercise.
 

soflagator

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As others have said, there are worse things than living in Florida. But you’re not wrong. Not a big fan of Feb either, but August probably takes the cake as far as off months. You forgot to mention the transition from summer to school, the traffic that results, and of course the constant “storm brewing off the Horn of Africa” discussions. On the heat, we went to Disney last weekend and broke a hard fast rule by doing a park in Summer on Sunday. It was fine until I had two beers with lunch. I’m pretty sure I dropped 12 pounds that afternoon. Just dreadful.

And I’ve lived in SoFla and NoFla, and the rain thing has always been there, but does seem worse now. Thanks to that, my pavers in the back will have to be pressure washed again, which I’m pretty excited about.

The only person that really gains is the Florida weathermen. Talk about mailing it in. They don’t even care or try from May to September, and I’m pretty sure they just copy and past from random weeks over and over.

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Bushmaster

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I was in Key West last week and good God was it hot. I haven't lived in FL in 34 years and I am not used to that heat. Just standing in the sun was miserable.

I was in South Beach Saturday before last when the Cuba protests were going on. I will say this about So FL drivers. They are the most rude people on the planet and there is not a close second. Give me a pissed off NYC taxi cab driver any day versus ANY of them MFers in South Beach, or even Miami in general. I would not live in that town unless I had enough money to travel by helicopter.
 

Alumni Guy

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I will say this about So FL drivers. They are the most rude people on the planet and there is not a close second. Give me a pissed off NYC taxi cab driver any day versus ANY of them MFers in South Beach, or even Miami in general. I would not live in that town unless I had enough money to travel by helicopter.
I-95 between West Palm and Miami is terrifying.

However, the worst drivers I ever experienced were in Chicago. The shoulder is a passing lane. When changing lanes to the right, you have to check the left lane too, because double and triple lane changes are common.

Midwest Values and manners don’t apply there.
 

soflagator

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I was in Key West last week and good God was it hot. I haven't lived in FL in 34 years and I am not used to that heat. Just standing in the sun was miserable.

I was in South Beach Saturday before last when the Cuba protests were going on. I will say this about So FL drivers. They are the most rude people on the planet and there is not a close second. Give me a pissed off NYC taxi cab driver any day versus ANY of them MFers in South Beach, or even Miami in general. I would not live in that town unless I had enough money to travel by helicopter.

I once had an old lady refuse to let me over driving north on US1 from North Palm Beach. Generally not a big deal, but in this instance, it was a “right lane ends” merge into a bridge. After several seconds of speeding up only to be matched at every MPH, I caught her eyes and she was simply not budging. If that meant me running off into the intracoastal channel and to my near certain death, she was willing to live with that. Shame on me for not foreseeing the issue and being blocked in, but I was amazed at her stance. Apparently, canasta can’t wait.

Also, funny you mention the helicopter. That’s exactly how the CEO of FPL used to commute from his home Miami to the office in NPB. He may still, not sure.
 
Last edited:

soflagator

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He’s got it backwards: you commute into Miami and get the hell out.

You don’t voluntarily go into Miami for any reason.

Yeah, I always kind of wondered how he could land in what's basically Juno Beach and one of the most pristine, livable areas of Florida, and then return to Miami. I'm sure the guy lived in an ultra-exclusive area, but still. Miami is good for an occasional Heat game, Joe's and a few other restaurants. It's meant to be a temporary location, not where you live, imo. There's just nothing outside of those things that you can't get elsewhere in SoFla with a lot less headache.
 

Gator By Marriage

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August sucks.

It’s so damn hot: all you can really do is move from one air conditioned spot to another. If you leave your car parked outside for more than an hour, the interior is hotter than Hades.

Im lucky to have a pool, but in August it magically turns into a bath tub with close to 90 degree water.

Oh, you found something you like to do outside: it’s going to rain at 2:00. Guaranteed. And, when it’s done raining the heat evaporates the water and the humidity hits close to 100%. Makes yard work fun.

So, you’re stuck inside, let’s watch some sports. Nope: football’s a month away, and Baseball sucks and it’s too early for the pennant race. No Golf either.

Electric Bill’s an extra $100/month.

August sucks.
My FIL always likes to see the people, whose only experience with Florida was the winter and decide to move there permanently, come their first summer. He says no amount of warning them truly prepares them for the first July & August. BTW, he also claims it was a lot less miserable (they have always lived in the TB area in the time they've been in Fla) in the 50's and 60's before everything got so built up.
 

soflagator

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My FIL always likes to see the people, whose only experience with Florida was the winter and decide to move there permanently, come their first summer. He says no amount of warning them truly prepares them for the first July & August. BTW, he also claims it was a lot less miserable (they have always lived in the TB area in the time they've been in Fla) in the 50's and 60's before everything got so built up.

And it's worse the further north you get. May through September is considerably worse in north central Florida than it is down south. It's just a sitting, sweltering heat with no breeze at all. Miserable unless you're in water.
 

Gatordiddy

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I used this solution:

Move to Colorado, only go back to Florida for weddings and/or funerals*.
And only if these events are not in July or August.

Working out pretty well if I do say so myself.

(* - depending on who died)
 

soflagator

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I used this solution:

Move to Colorado, only go back to Florida for weddings and/or funerals*.
And only if these events are not in July or August.

Working out pretty well if I do say so myself.

(* - depending on who died)

So you basically just stop answering your phone and emails around March and then resume normalcy in mid September?

I have to say, that’s not a bad idea.
 

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