Best bad pickup line?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by CaseyGator, Mar 25, 2018.

  1. Swamp Donkey

    Swamp Donkey TaggelwainLivesMatter
    Lifetime Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    39,816
    Oxbucks:
    $20,766
    Ratings:
    +45,019 / -1,598
    "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, We're a match on Tinder, So I think we should screw."


    "69 miles away, huh? Well that's ironic..."


    "Do you work at build-a-bear? Because I’d stuff you."

    75 Tinder Pick Up Lines That Will Get You a Date!

    That website has a Call of Duty pickup line page. I'm afraid to look.
     
    • Detroitgator

      Detroitgator General Factotum
      Lifetime Member

      Joined:
      Jul 15, 2014
      Messages:
      12,175
      Oxbucks:
      $3,577
      Ratings:
      +10,158 / -32
      That one got a smile... I still like my "Stancoisms" ;)
       
    • itsgr82bag8r

      itsgr82bag8r Political Forum Fire Starter
      Lifetime Member

      Joined:
      Jun 11, 2014
      Messages:
      14,066
      Oxbucks:
      $2,648
      Ratings:
      +9,110 / -60
      “Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal."

      :lol:
       
      • BNAG8R

        BNAG8R ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ mind, ⭐️ ⭐️ body
        Moderator

        Joined:
        Jun 10, 2014
        Messages:
        1,533
        Oxbucks:
        $1,797
        Ratings:
        +4,150 / -40
        Do you know the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection?




        I don’t have a Lamborghini.
         
        • PastyStoole

          PastyStoole Senior Member
          Lifetime Member

          Joined:
          Jun 12, 2014
          Messages:
          1,295
          Oxbucks:
          $536
          Ratings:
          +2,097 / -17
          Here are a few I've used and witnessed:

          1) First semester my Freshman year at UF, I'm in this huge auditorium for a Biology lecture, a very attractive girl sits down at the table near me. I was 118 lbs. and had absolutely no game, she was probably 20. During the middle of the boring lecture I just said, what the hell, took out a piece of paper and wrote "DO YOU LIKE BROCCOLI?" and slid it over to her. She chuckled and wrote "YES" and slid it back to me. I wrote "WRITE PHONE NUMBER HERE:______________" She did, I called her and we went on a date. Out of my league, then, but we had a good time, and I was grateful for the experience.

          2) I'm in my 20s hanging around at a bar called Bradley's Palm Beach. There are literally douche bags in double breasted blazers there and a whole lot of pretension. My buddies start talking about this girl across the bar in a hat, who's laughing with her friend. She notices all of us looking at her. With this big sweeping, ridiculous, gesture I motion for her to come over, she does and I immediately put my arm around her and said, "You came here tonight to make out with me, didn't you?" My buddies were stunned, she started laughing, she and I went to the bar and I got her a drink and about 5 minutes later I was making out with her.

          3) At the very same bar, about two months before the Patti Bowman/William Kennedy Smith incident. I'm sitting at the bar with a date when two secret service agents walk in and go to the corners, followed by Ted Kennedy who enters the bar with some kid who looked like he was underage - a nephew or something. The Senator, who is loaded and flushed, comes up to the bar, orders two drinks and turns to MY fckn' date and slurs, "I've been looking for you all my life." She looks at him for a few seconds, (she's already in her cups a bit), and turns back to me and says, "whadda we gonna have another Chappaquiddick?" loud enough for the good Senator to hear. Now, anyone who knows me also knows I absolutely HATE the Kennedys. They're the epitome of the privileged idle rich and every time they came into town years ago something bad would happen. And I don't care much for their phony politics masked as altruism either. But even I saw nothing good about the comment and was deeply embarrassed by it. He moved away from us, but the whole thing was one of the most cringe-worthy moments I've ever been a part of and a complete fail on many levels.

          4) A buddy of mine and I are at a party on summer break and we're making out with two girls who we had gotten friendly with, and who had come to the party with each other. All of a sudden he stops, looks over at us and, starts singing to the Flinstone's Rock Roll "Twitch" song: "There's a town I know where the hipsters go called BEDROCK, Switch! Switch!" They sort of shrugged and we switched chicks. He and I just kept singing that song every so often and switching. It was a completely bizarre night but absolutely hilarious and very memorable.

           
          • Gator515151

            Gator515151 Well-Known Member

            Joined:
            Aug 16, 2018
            Messages:
            353
            Oxbucks:
            $1,231
            Ratings:
            +742 / -11
            I once asked a girl at a roadside flower stand if she had any bouquets guaranteed to get me laid. When she sold me a half dozen roses I handed them back to her.......it didn't work.
             
            • GR8 2B

              GR8 2B A Florida Gator
              Lifetime Member

              Joined:
              Jun 12, 2016
              Messages:
              2,445
              Oxbucks:
              $1,722
              Ratings:
              +2,588 / -40
              Sounds like that was worth a try. What were you, about 19?
               
            • GR8 2B

              GR8 2B A Florida Gator
              Lifetime Member

              Joined:
              Jun 12, 2016
              Messages:
              2,445
              Oxbucks:
              $1,722
              Ratings:
              +2,588 / -40
              I was in PBC in that time period, and was in Bradley's every week and weekend. I was at the Au Bar the night of the William Kennedy Smith "incident". My good friend and I were talking to 2 girls in their mid-20's he knew, drinks in hand, when I looked over one girl's shoulder, and saw this guy who I was pretty sure was Ted Kennedy standing right next to us with 2 other younger guys. I recognized one of them later from news reports as having been William. I asked my buddy, who lived on PB, if that was TK. He said he was. The girls looked at him, and he, catching their looks, leaned into the nearest girl's ear and said something. He pulled back, smiled at her, and turned away. We asked her what he said. All she would say was, "that was the rudest, most disgusting thing anyone has ever said to me."
               
              #68 GR8 2B, Aug 28, 2018
              Last edited: Aug 28, 2018
              • PastyStoole

                PastyStoole Senior Member
                Lifetime Member

                Joined:
                Jun 12, 2014
                Messages:
                1,295
                Oxbucks:
                $536
                Ratings:
                +2,097 / -17
                I had two encounters with Ted Kennedy. When he hit on my date, that was my second. It may have been William Kennedy Smith with him, the kid looked young, so it's hard for me to say. Same look though.

                I grew up in the town of Palm Beach, literally two houses west of the Kennedy compound. Rose Kennedy used to walk down our street every day and say "hi" to us, engage us in conversation, she even invited my sister into her house and gave her a tour once. She told her she could play tennis there any time she wanted. Her caretaker, a guy named "Denny" hung out with all the kids and 20 somethings in town, he just died last year.

                When I was a kid, my dad and I used to walk down the beach, I'd run patterns, and he'd throw me the football. My favorite was when I had to leap and make a diving catch into the surf. It was one of those bonding things with your dad that stays with you in your life. One day we saw Ted and his Sterno-guzzling wife Joan walking down the beach, actually holding hands, believe it or not. I know I can be mean to these people, with the exception of Rose, they are and were truly awful. But this was a sweet moment. They stopped and talked to us, no one else was around. No secret service, nobody else on the beach. He told me I was a good football player, which was a lie, and even threw me a pass.

                Years later when he hit on my date at Bradley's the thing I noticed was the enormity of the guys head. It had become bloated from years of alcohol abuse, and the contrast of the kind and gentle encounter I had with him and Joan was striking.

                I knew the girl William Kennedy Smith raped. Not well, but at the time she was raising a child that was from a very close friend of our family. We spent every Christmas dinner at their house and summers on their private Island in the Bahamas. When the story broke, our entire street was lined with cars from all kinds of press, including the sleazy TV tabloid kind. My dad used to turn the sprinkler on toward their cars. One of them actually got caught going through the garage of the family friend I just mentioned. In truth, it was one of many crappy things the Kennedys did in Palm Beach. They were privileged reprobates. I had a friend who worked at Saks on Worth Avenue. She said they would routinely buy an expensive dress for some gala, then return it the next day with sweat stains in it.

                In any case, it sounds like you and I hung out at the same places right around that time. I wonder if we are eskimo brothers, that was one of the funnest periods of my life. :lol:
                 
                • GR8 2B

                  GR8 2B A Florida Gator
                  Lifetime Member

                  Joined:
                  Jun 12, 2016
                  Messages:
                  2,445
                  Oxbucks:
                  $1,722
                  Ratings:
                  +2,588 / -40
                  There's no doubt in my mind that we've met. The friend of mine I was with at Au Bar grew up on Palm Beach. I was out with him and the group so much that his grandmother set up a bedroom for me in their house. We really tore it up on the island for a few years. I'm using my cell phone right now. I'll pm you sometime soon from a computer.
                   
                  • AlexDaGator

                    AlexDaGator The Hammer of Thor
                    Lifetime Member

                    Joined:
                    Jun 19, 2014
                    Messages:
                    6,758
                    Oxbucks:
                    $3,082
                    Ratings:
                    +9,773 / -15
                    Back on track...


                    Boy: Sticks out arm towards girl, says "Hey, touch that!" indicating the fabric of his shirt sleeve.

                    Girl: Touches shirt, says "Feels OK"

                    Boy: "OK? That's BOYFRIEND material!"




                    Alex.
                     
                    • itsgr82bag8r

                      itsgr82bag8r Political Forum Fire Starter
                      Lifetime Member

                      Joined:
                      Jun 11, 2014
                      Messages:
                      14,066
                      Oxbucks:
                      $2,648
                      Ratings:
                      +9,110 / -60
                    • MADGator

                      MADGator This space intentionally left blank

                      Joined:
                      Jan 28, 2015
                      Messages:
                      883
                      Oxbucks:
                      $358
                      Ratings:
                      +949 / -6
                      I know I'm late to the party but dang, I ROR'd.
                      [​IMG]
                       
                      • stephenPE

                        stephenPE Senior Member
                        Lifetime Member

                        Joined:
                        Jul 20, 2014
                        Messages:
                        14,387
                        Oxbucks:
                        $1,173
                        Ratings:
                        +7,062 / -513
                        My friend was 45 and she was 30. He noticed that she noticed. He told her "you are like the dessert cart rolling by but never stops."
                         

                        Share This Page

                        The Box

                        Help

                        You don't have the necessary permissions to use the chat.

                          1. There are currently no users chatting.
                            • About Us

                              Our community sprung up when the Gatorsports message board was shut down in the summer of 2014. We pride ourselves on offering Gator-biased, yet critical discussion among people of all different backgrounds. We are working every day to make sure our community is the best Gator message board you will find.
                            • Like us on Facebook

                            • Buy us a Zima!

                              The management works very hard to make sure the community is running the best software, best designs, and all the other bells and whistles. Care to buy us a non-alcoholic Zima? We'd really appreciate it! Just click the "Donate" tab at the top of the page.