Cheerleaders: Sports or not?

[Detroitgator]

*Competitive* cheerleading may be a sport. But cheerleading on the sidelines is just weird and archaic faux-pep used to disguise sexual objectification of girls your daughter's age. Shame on all of you. RULE NUMBER #1: Any 'sport' that gives male spectators a boner is not a sport. That includes figure skating for all you homos out there. This also means that women's beach volleyball, especially if it involves the Brazilian or Italian teams, is...unfortunately...NOT A SPORT.

RULE #2: Any 'sport' that does not involve a competitive element is...NOT A SPORT. We're looking right at you, professional wrestling. Despite ESPN's best efforts to classify it otherwise, at its very, very, best professional wrestling is nothing more than bad community theatre. There are enough closeted rednecks who watch these jellyrolls in very tight and skimpy attire that it could definitely go into category #1 as well.

RULE #3: Any 'sport' that involves "fake" anything, including stupid props, is...NOT A SPORT. My cousin, who was a five-time world champion kickboxer once said to me, "Karate is fake fighting for pu$$ies." Karate is, therefore...NOT A SPORT. Also in that category is dressage, which is every bit as gay as figure skating and involves stupid props. And, oh my God you fkkn college dorks, if you are on an intermural Quidditch team, get thee to a nunnery (whore house), asap and bring a wad of cash. You are in desperate need of female companionship. NOT A SPORT.

RULE #4: If you can compete at an elite level in a 'sport' and you are barely able to make it around the block because you are stricken with heart disease from lack of fkkn exercise, bad diet, and smoking, it is, absolutely, positively, NOT A SPORT. Billiards, Bowling, Horseshoes, Darts, Cornhole, etc.. (These cornhole a$$holes take themselves so frikken seriously and every single one of them are heart attack patients-in-waiting.) Along those lines, if you are a dork, nerd, geek, or nimrod, and you are playing at an elite level in a 'sport' (i.e. chess, video games, spelling bees - WTF ESPN? - and the aforementioned Quidditch), it is...it goes without saying...NOT A SPORT.

You wanna know what else is "every bit as gay as figure skating?" Using the word "dressage."

 

[GatorJ]

*Competitive* cheerleading may be a sport. But cheerleading on the sidelines is just weird and archaic faux-pep used to disguise sexual objectification of girls your daughter's age. Shame on all of you. RULE NUMBER #1: Any 'sport' that gives male spectators a boner is not a sport. That includes figure skating for all you homos out there. This also means that women's beach volleyball, especially if it involves the Brazilian or Italian teams, is...unfortunately...NOT A SPORT.

RULE #2: Any 'sport' that does not involve a competitive element is...NOT A SPORT. We're looking right at you, professional wrestling. Despite ESPN's best efforts to classify it otherwise, at its very, very, best professional wrestling is nothing more than bad community theatre. There are enough closeted rednecks who watch these jellyrolls in very tight and skimpy attire that it could definitely go into category #1 as well.

RULE #3: Any 'sport' that involves "fake" anything, including stupid props, is...NOT A SPORT. My cousin, who was a five-time world champion kickboxer once said to me, "Karate is fake fighting for pu$$ies." Karate is, therefore...NOT A SPORT. Also in that category is dressage, which is every bit as gay as figure skating and involves stupid props. And, oh my God you fkkn college dorks, if you are on an intermural Quidditch team, get thee to a nunnery (whore house), asap and bring a wad of cash. You are in desperate need of female companionship. NOT A SPORT.

RULE #4: If you can compete at an elite level in a 'sport' and you are barely able to make it around the block because you are stricken with heart disease from lack of fkkn exercise, bad diet, and smoking, it is, absolutely, positively, NOT A SPORT. Billiards, Bowling, Horseshoes, Darts, Cornhole, etc.. (These cornhole a$$holes take themselves so frikken seriously and every single one of them are heart attack patients-in-waiting.) Along those lines, if you are a dork, nerd, geek, or nimrod, and you are playing at an elite level in a 'sport' (i.e. chess, video games, spelling bees - WTF ESPN? - and the aforementioned Quidditch), it is...it goes without saying...NOT A SPORT.

Poetry as usual

 

[AlexDaGator]

Shout out to KC, our own cheerleader poster.

Alex.

 

[cover2]

BS. stripping is most definitely a sport!

Disagree. It is an amalgam of theater and dance, arts not sports. Comparatively speaking, however, depending on the performer, target heart rate, fluid loss/intake, and elevated respiration can match that of any sport. The participation fees can be prohibitive, though.

 

[Durty South Swamp]

depending on the performer, target heart rate, fluid loss/intake, and elevated respiration can match that of any sport.

you talking about the stripper or me watching them???

 

[jdh5484]

You wanna know what else is "every bit as gay as figure skating?" Using the word "dressage."

 

[cover2]

You wanna know what else is "every bit as gay as figure skating?" Using the word "dressage."

Might even include knowing the definition. Btw what is it?

 

[cover2]

you talking about the stripper or me watching them???

Yes

 

[fischerwood]

Alex.

Holy Crap

 

[jdh5484]

Might even include knowing the definition. Btw what is it?

I think it's a brokeback mountain thing.

The discipline of dressage is like ballet on horseback.

 

[cover2]

I think it's a brokeback mountain thing.

Lost me at ballet

 

[B52G8rAC]

Might even include knowing the definition. Btw what is it?

Putting on clothes.

 

[cover2]

Putting on clothes.

Oh, a military term! Makes sense…

 

[aka]

Alex.

It took me a while to scroll past this. I actually did then went back.

 

[jeeping8r]

Dressage: A 'sport" where horses are involved and tight pants are the norm for the female riders.
If your bank account balance has less than 7 digits to the left of the decimal point you can't afford to play.
These folks don't blink at spending a half million on a truck and trailer, Horses can easily cost more.

 

[Bushmaster]

Alex.

Funny how she and I are both looking at the same thing.

 

[Bushmaster]

There are 2 rules for it to be a sport.

You have to break a sweat while playing and there must be a proponent to keep your opponent from scoring.

Cheerleading doesn't have the latter. Bowling has neither. Billiards plays defense but no swesting. Golf has no defense but can sweat if you drink enough beer.

 

[Detroitgator]

I say... SPORT!

 

[stephenPE]

I love cheerleaders. My first GF was one and in that outfit she was delectable. But on the sidelines in HS basketball (annoying) in football (never noticed while playing)

 

[Gator By Marriage]

I say... SPORT!

If anyone patted me on the butt that much I’d think they had a thing for me. I admit I’m only speculating as that’s not actually ever happened to me.