Durty Quarantining

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Durty South Swamp, Mar 19, 2020.

  1. Durty South Swamp

    Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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    That's right boyz and girlz... Durty is officially quarantined until end of month.

    I was around someone who was around someone else while on travel who later had some flu symptoms. The chain of command went a full 3 degrees of separation and quarantined all of us.

    I'm teleworking from home now. The dude with symptoms was fine after 24 hours. Had a low fever, 99ish, sore throat and dry cough. He's been good since Sunday but here we are bc the corona test results take freaking forever to come back.

    Ill either be back to work by Monday, or wont be. But if I'm not you can add one more case of a giant nothingburger to the list of ppl who contracted it.

    Wutang flu sucks my ass.
     
    • URGatorBait

      URGatorBait #TeamDubs
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      Sorry to hear you caught the corona.

      We will miss you when you pass.

      RIP Durty :(
       
      • Durty South Swamp

        Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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        Even if I did have it, it wouldn't be a big deal. But none of us do. Not even the original dude. He probably had a 24 hr bug and that's it.
         
        • URGatorBait

          URGatorBait #TeamDubs
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          Do not go gentle into that good night.
          Rage, rage against the dying of the light


          :lol:
           
          • 78

            78 Dazed and Confused
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            So you haven’t tested positive? Hope not. Client I met with for almost two hours on Friday the 13th notified me today she was self quarantining. She’s awaiting the results.

            We all knew this was coming.
             
          • Durty South Swamp

            Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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            I thought we were brohounds...
             
          • URGatorBait

            URGatorBait #TeamDubs
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            That's why I am gonna miss you bro :fistbump:
             
            • soflagator

              soflagator Senior Member
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              For the record, Durty, I’ve thought you needed to be quarantined for years. The fact that you’re now loaded up with more Corona than the average lowered mid-90s Civic roaming LA’s Spanish hoods is irrelevant.
               
              • alcoholica

                alcoholica I'm what Willis was talking about

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                $5 soldier boy was so 5 decades ago. you had to be suspect right....just couldn't say no could you
                 
                • AlexDaGator

                  AlexDaGator The Hammer of Thor
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                  As Durty’s best friend, I feel it is my duty to say a few words at this sad time for all of us.

                  I hardly knew the guy so bear with me. Durty lived a nondescript and rather short life, slim on accomplishments and lighter on friends. It’s difficult to think of what to say.

                  He wasn’t the friend who always makes you laugh, but he had a toe that could keep you in stitches. Also, his wife is hot (back off fellas, line forms behind me).

                  Durty was the kind of guy who shows up to the party, then leaves the party, and nobody is even sure he was there. Like a ghost. Rather fitting given his current station.

                  What else can I say about Durty? He got the WuFlu. We don’t know exactly how he got infected and speculation that it was that ladyboy in Singapore is in poor taste, although likely accurate.

                  Desperate for material for the eulogy, I asked anybody if they had anything nice to say about Durty. His college roommate said that Durty would drink milk straight out of the carton, then put the empty carton back in the fridge. When the roommate complained, Durty topped the carton off with water. That shows the kind of “outside the box” thinking Durty was occasionally capable of.

                  His boss described Durty as having “delusions of adequacy.” However, Durty did excel in one area. If a product or instruction had to be “GI proofed” or “grunt proofed,” Durty was the ideal test subject. If there was a way to fcuk it up, Durty always found it. Always. You know why Superman pajamas have a warning label cautioning that wearing them will not give you the ability to fly? Durty. You can thank Durty for that, and lots of other things.

                  Durty touched many lives, and many children, and like Joe Biden, managed to avoid prison time for it. So he’s got something in common with the former Vice President. Which is a thing, something, I can add to this eulogy.

                  And so it is with a heavy heart we say goodbye to a guy who couldn’t even spell his own name correctly (c’mon, even my kid knows you spell Dirty with an i). Goodbye Durty, and we all hope you’re living your best death at that big Tijuana in the sky, enjoying the donkey show. Rest in Peace Brother.


                  Alex.
                   
                  • rogdochar

                    rogdochar Senior Member
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                    How about Durty's Toe? He's stood at least 3 feet from Durty all along.
                     
                    • Theologator

                      Theologator Enchanter

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                      So little to say in so many words.

                      He was the kind of guy who would stand in the middle of the walkway, looking vacantly for direction and impeding those who have it.

                      His records were all “greatest hits” albums
                       
                      • Detroitgator

                        Detroitgator General Factotum
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                        He hated Mexicans! And he was half-Mexican! And he hated irony!
                         
                        • Swamp Donkey

                          Swamp Donkey US Flu Deaths 30000-80000yr, Wuhan Deaths 2k
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                          Fvkk that guy.
                           
                          • G. Gordon Gator

                            G. Gordon Gator Intrepid Chauvinist
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                            "Delusions of adequacy" :lmao2:
                             
                            • LoyalGatorFan

                              LoyalGatorFan Well-Known Member

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                              I am relatively new here but this is the best/most hilarious eulogy ever
                               
                              • gatorfan81

                                gatorfan81 Take it to PC member
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                                Who!?
                                 
                                • Swamp Donkey

                                  Swamp Donkey US Flu Deaths 30000-80000yr, Wuhan Deaths 2k
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                                  We will have to produce tens of millions of these eulogies Im told, all bc of Orange Man not closing the border to China quickly enough.

                                  Unless we shut the country down completely and destroy our economy for a decade, which will result in only a million or two deaths.

                                  It is like, you know, science.

                                  Unless of course weve radically over estimated every single aspect of our science despite a plethora of evidence to the contrary.
                                   
                                  #18 Swamp Donkey, Mar 20, 2020
                                  Last edited: Mar 20, 2020
                                  • G. Gordon Gator

                                    G. Gordon Gator Intrepid Chauvinist
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                                    Fear not Durty, did some checking and fortunately chlamydia is not one of the pre-existing conditions that puts you in a high-risk category. :whew:
                                     
                                    • NavetG8r

                                      NavetG8r Stupid
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                                      I heard it from a friend, who heard it from another, Durty was messing around with a Chinese hooker before this happened. Don't believe his BS story. They don't call him Durty for nuthin.
                                       

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