Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

Time Trap (2017) <Netflix>

So, I was due for a stupid movie, and one who has a description of "A professor goes in a cave and gets trapped, his students look for him and do the same" sounds like the perfect candidate. I'd put the production quality at or near SciFi channel material, the acting and execution is about the same, but the writing brings this up a notch or two. To elaborate on the plot, the cave is actually where the Fountain of Youth is hiding, several layers deep. Within each layer, time slows down further. So, as we focus on the students looking for their Prof we get to the realization that when in the cave, they can look out and the sky is flashing light and dark (the quickly surmise days are passing above as seconds to them below). Throw in some cavemen to add some baddies even though they are trapped and lost in time like everyone else, glow sticks everywhere, a dead cowboy so we can bring a gun into play for no reason, and an alien from the future because ALIENS!, and you've got a good time, amirite? I like one of the other comments on IMDB to the effect of 'You ever like the telling of a story, but keep yelling at characters you can't care for?" Pretty accurate. The end wraps up quick with a pretty good twist, albeit predictable, and as it switches to credits you realize "WTF? The delivery on the ending was empty", meaning the story took it's next logical step (not setting up for a sequel), but didn't answer a ton of questions about the film. This, coming from ME who often just goes for the escape. 6/10.



ThreatMatrix = group of coeds includes two blonds in their early 20's. One of them is the main 'capable' one as others get injured. While she is attractive, you'll see a lot more skin driving around UF campus on a normal afternoon.

 

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020 )

Yes, based on the video game, so you have your expectations set from the beginning. Premise is Sonic escaped his home planet via his rings, and came to earth where he's been hiding for a few years in some remote town and soaking in the locals. He gets upset at his loneliness and causes a major power outage, which brings the gov't in with Dr. Egghead Robotnik (Jim Carey). Sonic seeks help from the local sheriff, who he's felt most bonded with and refers to the sheriff as 'Donut Lord' (yelling at donuts, eating the ones who get out of line). I should note, the entire film is life action with a CGI Sonic in the scenes, but it all looks and feels mostly natural (for a movie based on a game). Sonic is given a real personality, some good lines and several comedic moments. Our sheriff and his wife (he's white, she is black, and it is never 'in your face', but more of just how things are so maybe this stops being a statement) take care of helping Sonic escape the gov't baddy and search for his lost rings so he can escape to his next planet. Along the way, he gets taught what a bucket list is, and starts crossing things off, which fills the middle section of the film with some zany episodes, but sets you up for the 'friend' at the end he so desperately wants. Carey plays the bad guy really well, perfectly fits his style and it doesn't go over the top or reach a mockery of itself but stays within context and keeps things moving. All in all, a great film for the family. 7.5/10

ThreatMatrix = nothing to see here, move along.

 

Artemis Fowl (2020) <Disney+>

Based on a series of early teen books with a central character of Artemis Fowl (Jr.) as a 12y old super genius. I'd never read the stories, but my daughter (14) had and it was her night to pick a family movie. The rest of the fam didn't know what to expect, and I'm ok heading into movies like that. We start off with a few scenes that establish the kid's intellect, and that he lives alone with his father (Colin Farrell, only recognizable face in the film besides an old lady), and his father is often away on 'business'. There is a bodyguard 'Dom' as well. Story is set in Ireland, father has a huge estate the son lives in, and it has the rumblings that dad is a collector of rare things. Plot hinges on dad teaching his son anything and everything about faeries and the like, with a strong push to believe. Then on day, dad is abducted and son gets a mysterious call to find some ancient artifact his dad had supposedly stolen. The regular world then has a media eruption that his dad is a master thief, which the son and bodyguard won't believe but they DO begin searching the house to find the artifact to trade for his father. Along the way, the son come to believe in faeries, and attempts to capture one to help him retrieve the artifact. That's as much plot as I will spoil, the summary of the film is the boy is often 3 steps ahead of everyone, including the faeries, the real world authorities, the other mythical creatures (dwarf, goblin, troll, etc). We have a heavy dose of imaginary creatures throughout to flesh out the cast, provide friendship and some inter-character backstories and relationships; a decent amount of CGI effects (a failing time freeze bubble is interesting) and it all wraps up with a nice bow and an opening for sequels (remember, this was 8 books). Upside? Kids aged 6-12 might like it. Adults might have 1-2 laughs at most. Downside? If you read the books, they didn't find the dad until book 3, so there's a lot of Hollywood creative liberty taken to translate the book to film, so it is not even close to the books. Adults might have 1-2 laughs at most. Ok if you need to watch with some kids, otherwise skip it and any sequels they decide to make. 5/10.

 

Been churning thru the MCU in the sequence they were meant to occur (as opposed to release dates). I won't bore you, but I'm up to Infinity Wars. I forgot how humourous the Guardians were. Great stuff.


The Old Guard (2020) <Netflix>

Apparently, this is based on a comic series. I wouldn't know, and came into it blind. Charlize Theron takes the lead with 3 other guys in her group. The kicker is they have become immortal. They don't know how or why, but Andy (Theron) was the first several centuries back. She picked up the others along the way and they would do certain jobs throughout the world over time = typically rescuing some people, or stopping some catastrophe. It gives the impression they didn't know they were effecting history, they just did what seemed right to them at the time. Jump to modern day and they discover a new immortal has just been created (soldier in war, throat cut but recovers) so they go to collect the new recruit who is obviously going thru some reality adjustments. Add in an ex-CIA guy they did a job for once, and he's now free lancing and picked up a job for them. They take it, things go south, and we start getting a thin trail of deceit as someone wants to study them to create a cure-all for humanity, and profit too most likely.

The whole 2h5m moves decently, no drag and not a lot of wasted screen time. It's not riveting, nor loaded with much in the way of special effects (other than a ton of bullets and blood, then they rise back up again). It'll keep your attention as you learn the characters, their relationships, and this take on immortality. However, throughout, especially in the back half, this feels soooo much like a pilot trying to launch a series. Turns out, it is, and there appears to be a sequel being worked on. It's decent enough to make you kinda wanna see the next one, but if you miss it you wont' be upset. 6.5/10

ThreatMatrix: One look down Theron's shirt at some cleavage, that's about it.

 

Devil's Gate (2017) <Netflix>

An FBI agent arrives in N. Dakota to look for a missing woman and her son. I didn't recognize the lead FBI agent, but the sheriff she's paired with is a fimilar face from X-men films (he's done a bit more, so you may or may not recognize him). There is the husband to the missing woman who is also familiar from several recent tv and film work, and he kinda carries the film with his acting. There is also the local 'boss' sheriff who tries to keep the FBI away from the husband and basically comes off as a fat ******* = he's played by Will Riker from the Star Trek series (dude got FAT, and a small role). I won't spoil much on this one, but I will say it has a few twists that carry it into a very new take on a very old theme. The plot carrying you there is enough to keep you plugged in, and I never really said 'no fn way, this is now jumping the shark'. Then again, I'll watch anything. Good flick for some time killing, but you won't have less of a life if you skip it. 5.5/10

ThreatMatrix: Missing woman shows up towards the end, buck nekkid laying on the ground, so we see her butt crack.