Happy McElwain Boffs a Shark Day! Remembering this bizarre weirdo two years later

Discussion in 'Main Sports Forum' started by PastyStoole, May 9, 2019.

  1. PastyStoole

    PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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    2 years after the Jim McElwain shark photo went viral, I’m still baffled by the whole situation

    "Insecurity was really at the root of everything that doomed McElwain. From his reaction to that photo to him trying to gain sympathy points with his death threats claim, insecurity was the the common denominator.

    And for someone who seemed so interested in the public perception, McElwain never understood the bigger picture. Like, when he won the Outback Bowl after the 2016 season and said afterward “we’ll look for the commitment that we get from the administration moving forward, see where that’s at.”

    News flash: It’s not the best idea to put your bosses on blast in a press conference, especially when it’s a different athletic director than the one who hired you. It’s also not a great idea to call out your brand-new boss who is literally in the room with you."


    And for those who missed his final, tell-all interview that devolved into the subject:

    EXCLUSIVE: Mac's Final Interview

    This interview with Mac was conducted this morning and is due out tomorrow in an unnamed newspaper, but a buddy of mine who works as a stringer there passed it along to me as a preview. Apparently they gave the assignment of Mac's final interview to a newer reporter. Mac apparently still has some ill will toward the old guard there, which I didn't know. The interview is fairly telling, all things considered. Mac obviously felt comfortable being honest, now that he's been let go. Here is the advance transcript of it in raw form:

    Question: Coach Mac, thanks for sitting down with us under what I know must be difficult circumstances. Any general thoughts on the way things played out here? What was your impression of the way things were handled?

    JM: Thanks. You know, all I can really say is that it is what it is. It's the world we live in today as coaches. We're obviously paid a lot to do a job, and in the end, if we don't get it done, they don't keep you around. And yet, as we leave here I'd say we had some pretty good successes, along with the sub-par season this year, so I'm ok with the effort me and my staff and the players put in along the way. But, at the end of the day, we just didn't get it done.

    Q: Some of those successes, the two SEC East titles, and the bowl win against Iowa, some of the exciting victories, will be part of what many thought was a growth in a program that was moving in the right direction. But it seemed to peak this spring and then seemed by many to begin decline. If you were to guess, when would you say you jumped the shark, so to speak?

    JM: It was May 2nd of this year. I don't even need to guess on the date. Nuss and I had a fishing trip scheduled, something we do a lot during off season. We got a few in us and he reeled in a pretty big black tip. We always take our clothes off when we get a couple miles out - it's just what we do. I got a little excited and Nuss suggested I jump the dead shark that was lying there on deck. It was still warm, a bit slimy, and yet, I liked the feel of the sharkskin on my -

    Q: Wait, what? I...I was referring to -

    JM: ...I have no idea why he thought it would be a good idea to bring a camera to that particular party, and yet, at the end of the day it probably saved his job. There's a saying...the guy who knows the name to attach to a photo is the guy who holds a lot of cards. It's the world we live in today with social media and twitter and so on.

    Q: Good God...I...ok, let's just move on. You, um, mentioned Coach Nuss. He was a lightning rod here in Gainesville, and you stuck with him despite so much criticism of his offenses, which were consistently ranked very low. A lot of fans couldn't understand why you stuck with him. Can you, perhaps, shed some light on that?

    JM: Doug and I have some history, together, so there's that. You'll remember we were in Tuscaloosa together, there's a lot of farming there -

    Q: Not sure I follow, are you talking about player development or recruiting?

    JM: No, I'm talking about actual farming. You've got to remember both Doug and I grew up on farms. That place was a bonanza for guys like us. We'd sneak out at night to a suitable cow pasture, find a pretty little shorthorn, one of us would steady the animal, while the other would come up from behind it and...

    Q: Jesus Christ on the cross...please coach..ugh. Listen, coach, do you mind if we stick to football and your career here at the University of Florida?

    JM: I'd kindly ask that you'd watch your language, ok? I think you'll remember you were the one asking the question in the first place. And yet, at the end of the day, I'm just sitting here answering it honestly, that's all.

    Q: Ok, getting back on topic, please...your quarterbacks really struggled here, coach. It seems like for some fans the expectations were set high from the beginning. You were thought of as kind of a 'quarterback whisperer,' in fact, you made the comment early on that you could teach your dog Clarabelle to run this offense. Do you think you put yourself in a hole by making those comments.

    JM: Look I've taught my dog Clarabelle to do a lot of things, (by the way, peanut butter is great training tool. You can get your dog to do almost anything by putting peanut butter in just the right spot), but I've never actually taught her to play quarterback. I was being facetious with my original comment, and I think most fans recognize that. As far as me being a 'quarterback whisperer' or whatever, I've never called myself that. And yet, I've whispered a thing or two into Clarabelle's ear - a man's love for his dog really knows no bounds - but that's about it. I don't have to defend myself.

    Q: Uh huh...oh boy...

    JM: But to answer your question, did I put myself into that particular hole? You bet I did. Many times, over and over.

    Q: [Groans] I had some questions prepared, I'm just going to go through my notes here....Ugh.

    JM: Take your time...

    Q: Coach you have an obvious passion for the game. Tell us about the first time you realized you wanted to be a head football coach.

    JM: I have a good story about that actually...

    Q: Thank God...

    JM: I was sixteen or 17 years old at the time. Growing up in Missoula, Montana there wasn't much to do, but my best friend Bobby Joe Tucker and I would often drive out to a field at night, stand there looking up at the stars and just dream about our futures. One night, I'll never forget it, it just came to me. I said "Bobby Joe, I just know I want to be a college football coach one day. I just know it." Bobby turned to me excited as all get out and said. "Hey, I've got an idea! Hurry and finish up with that EWE, Jim! When you get done we'll draw up some plays!" And that's just what we did, we just started drawing up plays in the dirt, one after the next. We did that same routine night after night. We must've drawn up hundreds of plays in that pasture, surrounded by all these beautiful, soft, fluffy, bleating Suffolks. Some of the more creative plays you've seen out of this Gator football team were invented in that very pasture. Like the six-yard soft curl pattern that we tend to run a lot on third and twelve.

    Q: Coach I'm going to go ahead and end the interview here. I'm feeling a little queazy.

    JM: You bet. Thanks for stopping by.
     
    • Swamp Donkey

      Swamp Donkey Come get Papa Bear!!!!
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      Remembering this bizarre weirdo?

      No thanks.

      But he was right about our administration being slumlords.
       
    • bradgator2

      bradgator2 5k - 19 minutes, 39 seconds @ 41 years young
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      I'll never forget his quiver lips. Always on the verge of crying.

      Damn I hate that man.
       
      • Okeechobee Joe

        Okeechobee Joe Lost Ball in High Grass
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        The Peter principle says that you will rise to a level to where you will eventually get to a level where you will be incompetent. This happened to McElwain. He did good as a coordinator on Nick Saban's staff at Alabama. He did good as head coach of Colorado State. He rose to a level where his incompetence met the road at Florida. He has now descended back to a level of his competence as head coach of Central Michigan. He probably can handle Fire Up Chips. He couldn't handle Go Gators. I don't think the Gator faithful ever saw a more pathetic sight than McElwain and his wife walking off the field in Jacksonville laughing after being taken to the wood shed by Georgia.
         
        • crosscreekcooter

          crosscreekcooter Cunning Linguist
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          I kinda felt sorry for the shark.
           
          • Musclepug

            Musclepug never go full retard
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          • MuddyChewers

            MuddyChewers Fun was the goal and we hit the bullseye
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          • Swamp Donkey

            Swamp Donkey Come get Papa Bear!!!!
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            Fooley is such a weird fvkk that he is naturally attracted to fellow freaks like McElstain and Zookie.
             
            • 78

              78 Dazed and Confused
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              Sad period for Florida football, though the baseball people have to feel pretty good about his bytching about facilities. Maybe he'll make all time in that sport.
               
              • GatorInGeorgia

                GatorInGeorgia Senior Member
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                It’s definitely him in the shark photo. 100%.
                 
                • oxrageous

                  oxrageous It's Good to be King
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                  I'm waiting for that to come out years down the line, that it really WAS him.
                   
                  • PastyStoole

                    PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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                    Honestly the thought never crossed my mind until his guilty-as-sin 'doth-protest-too-much' denial. Then he claimed the picture was photoshopped, which is basically admitting that it's your face on the naked body. That sealed it for me. I still maintain that Nuss took the picture, which explains why he kept the guy on staff through three seasons of complete failure and incompetence.

                    And just to remove all doubt and solidify the certainty that he actually fkked a shark, McElwain made this comment at SEC media days: "...I had to explain it to my family."

                    Wait, what?? Do you mean your wife and your young-adult children? What exactly required an explanation here? "Hey, family meeting everybody, gather round...listen, remember last month when coach Nuss and I went shark fishing and I came home with that unusual sunburn, bragging about the seven-footer I caught? Well, [holds up picture] this is definitely *not* a picture of that trip. I just want to make that clear to everybody, ok?"
                     
                    #12 PastyStoole, May 11, 2019
                    Last edited: May 11, 2019
                    • GatorInGeorgia

                      GatorInGeorgia Senior Member
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                      Well, when they walked in on him banging Clarabelle a month prior to the shark photo hitting the web, it seems an explanation would be required. :lol:
                       
                      • The Shady Grove Gator

                        The Shady Grove Gator Relapsed Wise-Ass
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                        Hopefully, on his next swim in Lake Michigan, a 10 pound carp or walleye bites his micro-penis off. Karma indeed.
                         
                        • Durty South Swamp

                          Durty South Swamp doodley doodley doo!
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                          what a goofy bastid. like creepy old man, goofy. how we ever got anyone to sign under his tenure is beyond me.
                           
                          • neteng

                            neteng Go Bolts!
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                            I hate Foley.
                             
                            • Swamp Donkey

                              Swamp Donkey Come get Papa Bear!!!!
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                              This needs a thousand likes.

                              Imagine interviewing that buffoon and thinking here is my guy!

                              Hell, imagine watching his gamefilm and thinking, there is an offensive guru!
                               
                              • Frozen Gator

                                Frozen Gator Well-Known Member
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                                Butters is going to host "Shark Week" after he gets back from a deserted Caribbean beach on his anniversary!
                                 

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