Jokes

[wrpgator]

 

[wrpgator]

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

 

[wrpgator]

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

 

[wrpgator]

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

 

[wrpgator]

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

[alcoholica]

Is this where I tell the sprinkler joke?

 

[Nalt]

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non- antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable for the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways...

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, "What a terrible tragedy," and I would nod my head and say, "Yes, it was." The men would ask, "Can I borrow that mule?" and I would shake my head and say, "Can't, it's all booked up for a year."'

 

[Treebeard]

 

[Nalt]

A C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb! He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.


The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled,! the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a pee , then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll."

 

[Gator By Marriage]

a cocky F-16 pilot.

Is there another kind of F-16 pilot?