- Nov 16, 2017
- 5,549
- 13,086
First, I'd like to apologize to the copious numbers of Penix fans on this board who have gone all season without barely the slightest drizzle of Penix they have been craving all year long. The truth is, my consternation with our beloved Gators has left me frustrated and not in the mood to give you Penix lately.
I'm sorry. I've neglected your needs for too long. Perhaps banging this out will also help take my mind off my own frustration. So get in a comfortable position, because I'm ready to give you the massive load of Penix you've been waiting for and it may take a while.
There were rumors Penix had gone soft when he expressed a desire to see another program. In my opinion, those people are just acting like jealous ex-girlfriends! Who can blame Penix when he just wants to find some place better to slide into? While I wasn't there, I am told the portal shook a little when Penix entered.
Ever since his arrival in Seattle, fans of Penix have been in ecstasy! The Huskies are 4-0 for the first time since 2017 and Penix is constantly scoring.
First up was Kent State, who Penix bombed over and over; getting it to the endzone four times in just one hour. With a length of 345 yards, his passing gains were impressive to anyone who has seen Penix in the past.
Penix pounded and pillaged the hapless Portland State Vikings. Even a shield wall is not a enough of a barrier for Penix when he is determined, apparently. Once again Penix put on an impressive display stretching the Viking's D for 337 yards.
The Spartans of Michigan State were next. Now legend has it that the Spartans know how to take on Penix. There's at least a little truth there, as just last season Penix came up short. That was then, this is now. This season he stood firm and tall in the pocket; rhythmically striking the D over and over again. In his longest display yet, Penix reached nearly 400 yards. Even the Spartans couldn't handle his fury and were brought to their knees by the display of prowess.
Most recently Penix came up against the red flow of the Stanford Cardinal. Now as an aside dear reader, I'm distressed to report that Stanford is a very confused school. Although their official team name is Cardinal (as in the color) they have no official mascot. They seem to have adopted a tree unofficially. If there's one thing that bothers me it is people who are insecure and resort to phallic imagery in some desperate bid for attention. Why don't they call themselves the Stanford Washington Monuments or the Stanford Space Needles or the Stanford Florida Capital Buildings? But I digress dear readers. This thread is about Penix, and I should wrap it up for safety, as you shouldn't stare at the screen too long.
After starting really fast, Penix slowed things down a bit to regain control. He made it through the whole game though; sticking it to Stanford, 40-22.
That's all for now! I hope this was as good for you as it was for me - but honestly it doesn't matter that much to me. I feel like I've let go of a heavy load. For those of you craving this, it will have to be enough for now. I'd like to take a nap.
This may be a long season to be a Gator fan. In the middle of your distress, just remember you still have Penix. He will do what he has done since you first found out about him: fail wildly around the field desperately trying to score.
I'm sorry. I've neglected your needs for too long. Perhaps banging this out will also help take my mind off my own frustration. So get in a comfortable position, because I'm ready to give you the massive load of Penix you've been waiting for and it may take a while.
There were rumors Penix had gone soft when he expressed a desire to see another program. In my opinion, those people are just acting like jealous ex-girlfriends! Who can blame Penix when he just wants to find some place better to slide into? While I wasn't there, I am told the portal shook a little when Penix entered.
Ever since his arrival in Seattle, fans of Penix have been in ecstasy! The Huskies are 4-0 for the first time since 2017 and Penix is constantly scoring.
First up was Kent State, who Penix bombed over and over; getting it to the endzone four times in just one hour. With a length of 345 yards, his passing gains were impressive to anyone who has seen Penix in the past.
Penix pounded and pillaged the hapless Portland State Vikings. Even a shield wall is not a enough of a barrier for Penix when he is determined, apparently. Once again Penix put on an impressive display stretching the Viking's D for 337 yards.
The Spartans of Michigan State were next. Now legend has it that the Spartans know how to take on Penix. There's at least a little truth there, as just last season Penix came up short. That was then, this is now. This season he stood firm and tall in the pocket; rhythmically striking the D over and over again. In his longest display yet, Penix reached nearly 400 yards. Even the Spartans couldn't handle his fury and were brought to their knees by the display of prowess.
Most recently Penix came up against the red flow of the Stanford Cardinal. Now as an aside dear reader, I'm distressed to report that Stanford is a very confused school. Although their official team name is Cardinal (as in the color) they have no official mascot. They seem to have adopted a tree unofficially. If there's one thing that bothers me it is people who are insecure and resort to phallic imagery in some desperate bid for attention. Why don't they call themselves the Stanford Washington Monuments or the Stanford Space Needles or the Stanford Florida Capital Buildings? But I digress dear readers. This thread is about Penix, and I should wrap it up for safety, as you shouldn't stare at the screen too long.
After starting really fast, Penix slowed things down a bit to regain control. He made it through the whole game though; sticking it to Stanford, 40-22.
That's all for now! I hope this was as good for you as it was for me - but honestly it doesn't matter that much to me. I feel like I've let go of a heavy load. For those of you craving this, it will have to be enough for now. I'd like to take a nap.
This may be a long season to be a Gator fan. In the middle of your distress, just remember you still have Penix. He will do what he has done since you first found out about him: fail wildly around the field desperately trying to score.
