Tales From Gentlemen's Establishments...

Back Alley Gator

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As I mentioned in my earlier Pirates Den post, I spent way too much time in these establishments when I was not old enough to be there. But I knew many of the bouncers and it was a different time.

So, some friends and I ended up at a strip club just outside the Navy base off of Whitehead street in KW. I was 17 and had no business being there. But Im enjoying myself just fine. Then...across the stage I see my next door neighbor sit down. He looks up and sees me and I know its all over.

So, I get up to pay my tab and leave and he walks over and stops me. In a really low voice he says.. "You're not supposed to be here are you?" I agree that I am not. Envisioning being detained by law enforcement until my father could get there was enough to make me ill.

He replies...."Yea. That makes two of us. Tell ya what...you go over there and sit down and I'll buy you a drink and we can pretend that we never saw each other. Deal? "

Holy sh*t yea...thats a great deal. It wasn't until he went back over that I realized his wife was not one of the two women he was with. Both of us kept our sides of the bargain.
 

Back Alley Gator

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Another story happened after I had gone off to college and then went back to the Pirates Den with some friends I met in Gainesville. One of these guys was named John and he was an aspiring aerospace engineer. He had to wear coke bottle thick glasses and was pretty introverted. So a group of four or five of us went down to the Den during spring break. There was this dancer who liked to have you bend over the stage backwards with a dollar folded lengthwise and placed over your nose. She would pick it up without using her hands.

So, everyone has been here before except John and we all know how this goes down. So we egg John on to wear the dollar. Eventually he does. The dancer comes over and squats over his face and grinds. I mean goes to town on him. From chin to forehead. Grabs his hair...the whole nine yards.

When she finally gets off of him his glasses are all cockeyed, his shirt is a rumpled mess, and his hair is a complete rats nest.

He looks around dazed...takes a drink...and says very quietly..."I never want to see that from that angle again..." I think the starfish scarred him for life.
 

Bushmaster

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I went to a club once in Columbia, SC. Real dive of a place. Walk in and there are 4 midgets sitting in chairs next to the stage. What was so funny is their legs were so short they were sticking straight in front of them. All four of them had mullets and spiked hair on top. They were from a local professional wrestlers circuit and had performed locally earlier that night. Dancers were all over them. Novelty I suspect.
 

Gator By Marriage

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I went to a club once in Columbia, SC. Real dive of a place. Walk in and there are 4 midgets sitting in chairs next to the stage. What was so funny is their legs were so short they were sticking straight in front of them. All four of them had mullets and spiked hair on top. They were from a local professional wrestlers circuit and had performed locally earlier that night. Dancers were all over them. Novelty I suspect.
There’s only one reason dancers are ever all over any guy and it ain’t “novelty.”
 

Gator By Marriage

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All except that one girl...she was different. She actually liked me. ;)
I think one actually did like me, but I’ll let you decide.
Once upon a time, I spent a great deal of time in those establishments and believe it or not it was for my job ( further details are not relevant for this story). Anyway, I was in this one establishment quite a few times and got to know this one, uh, performer, to the point where I got to know her life story. Because I had known (sorry, not in the biblical sense) many “exotic dancers” (and bouncers) over the years, I suspect she was being pretty candid - it had the ring of truth. Every time I was in the place, she’d come over and sit for a while and talk about whatever. (Women tell me I’m a good listener.). Never did she hit me up for table dances or to “buy her a drink.” She wasn’t a bad kid; just one with a few issues. Anyway, we finished our thing and I never went back there.
A couple years later, I go to a bachelor party at the Cheetah III (a famous spot in Atlanta for those of you who may be unfamiliar) and there she was, having moved up to the big time, so to speak. Well damned if she didn’t both remember me and remembered my first name (which was all I had told her thank God). Needless to say, my friends were highly amused and to keep her around, to my discomfort, paid for several table dances. In between her performances she tells me that they weren’t allowed to date customers, but if I ever wanted to meet her somewhere that would be OK. As Mrs G. and I had started dating at that point, this was a no go, so I explained why that wasn’t happening.
I was sobered later thinking about the fact that I was probably one of the nicer men she had met and possibly one of the few who didn’t objectify her; after all, it wasn’t like she had any reason to think I had any money and it’s not like I’m particularly handsome or anything. Like everyone of those gals I knew, hers was a sad story; unlike most of them it hadn’t hardened her; yet anyway. I can only hope she figured it all out before she got too old or too bitter.
I have not been back to one of those places in almost 20 years.
 

Loogis

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Dad: “So, you are dating a stripper?”

Me: “Yeah, you know, she makes me feel special.”

Dad: “Don’t you think that’s what she gets paid to do?”
 

Gatorbait25

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Cafe Risque without question is the most trashy. The best I've been to is a toss up between Cleopatra in Montreal
or a hole in the wall place called Christy's in Tempe. The latter is nothing really spectacular, but several
ASU coeds were employed there upon my last visit. I can't imagine much has changed, but it's worth the trip for any gators going out west to the game in a few years.However the most memorable story comes from neither of these places. In fact it was behind enemy lines at
a place called Toppers. As you might imagine, it's a topless joint that doesn't bare all. We took a spontaneous
trip one evening since it was a friend of mine's birthday. At one point the birthday boy was brought on stage,
with a stripper in front, and to his left and right . It was a mid summer evening, so most of us were dressed
in jeans and a shirt or shorts and shirt . At one point my buddy stands up from his chair while the girls are dancing.
Immediately the girl to his right yanks his shorts down to his ankles for the whole club to see. Needless to say our hammered buddy
continued dancing . Completely oblivious to his junk hanging out on stage for what seemed like ages. He took it like a good sport,
and hiked up his shorts before exiting stage with all of us laughing our asses off.
 

Bait'n Gator

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Cafe Risque without question is the most trashy. The best I've been to is a toss up between Cleopatra in Montreal
or a hole in the wall place called Christy's in Tempe. The latter is nothing really spectacular, but several
ASU coeds were employed there upon my last visit. I can't imagine much has changed, but it's worth the trip for any gators going out west to the game in a few years.However the most memorable story comes from neither of these places. In fact it was behind enemy lines at
a place called Toppers. As you might imagine, it's a topless joint that doesn't bare all. We took a spontaneous
trip one evening since it was a friend of mine's birthday. At one point the birthday boy was brought on stage,
with a stripper in front, and to his left and right . It was a mid summer evening, so most of us were dressed
in jeans and a shirt or shorts and shirt . At one point my buddy stands up from his chair while the girls are dancing.
Immediately the girl to his right yanks his shorts down to his ankles for the whole club to see. Needless to say our hammered buddy
continued dancing . Completely oblivious to his junk hanging out on stage for what seemed like ages. He took it like a good sport,
and hiked up his shorts before exiting stage with all of us laughing our asses off.

This didn't happen at Toppers in Athens 15 or so years ago did it? The time may be off a little bit but I witnessed a real similar scenario there one night.
 

Gatorbait25

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This didn't happen at Toppers in Athens 15 or so years ago did it? The time may be off a little bit but I witnessed a real similar scenario there one night.

Yep that's the one. Probably 06. Can't remember the exact year. But definitely either 06 or 07, and
school hadn't started yet.
 

Durty South Swamp

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About two years ago I met two work buddies and one of them had sent the wife and kids down to Orlando, so he was looking for some fun.
We ended up going to a place in Alexandria VA and we had a seat.
(disclaimer- I may be in the minority but I really dislike these places- No ROI).

The guy whose wife was out of town decided he would treat us so ... ok then. He ordered a couple bottles of expensive champagne. That was like chum in the water as we were descended upon by the split-tails.
after a couple of hours of private dances and more bottles we finally had to roll out about 4am.
My buddy went over with the manager to pay the tab and we left. When we got to the car he looked white as a ghost. Especially difficult for a black guy too. I asked him what’s wrong and he said the tab came to $19,000. Ho Lee Fuk...and home we all went.
Welp- after being asleep for about 2 hours he calls and says - “the wife has fraud protection on the credit card and the company called her in Orlando.”
Oops.
I asked him what did you tell her?
He said the truth.
And then he said - “hey diddy, can I borrow $19,000?”
Haha-
Nope.

Can you imagine spending that kind of money, especially in freakin Alexandria?

Vegas maybe, and that would make for an epic story.
how in the fuuuu can you spend 19k at a titty bar? I mean you have to really TRY to spend that kinda coin. Crazy.
 

Durty South Swamp

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When I was in my early 20s I was stationed in Augusta, GA. There is a cool little bar/club district downtown that me and a few friends would frequent on the weekends. There was a mediocre titty bar right down there named Discotec that we'd periodically end up in after a long evening of bar hopping. One night we sauntered in and the place was pretty much empty. A couple of the regular girls were there; they knew us, and likewise.

We sit down get a drink and immediately the girls are over and dancing on the stage next to our table. After a few minutes another girl emerges that we hadn't seen before. And we were all looking - this girl was top shelf. She gets on the stage with the others and starts to dance and slowly undress. By the end of the first song shes nude minus a thong. Second song comes on and those disappear as well. We're all enjoying the show when all of a sudden she bends over and puts her ass right close to my face - a real nice ass and one that I didnt mind getting close and personal with. But something was shining in her brown eye... I looked closer and saw what appeared to be a silver barbell emanating from the 6 oclock position of her chocolate starfish. I look at my buddy and say, " you see that? is that a booty hole piercing?" and he says, "yeah, i think it is a booty hole piercing." We both sat there for a couple seconds in some strange mixture of confusion, arousal, and amazement. After the song ended I was like "hey, is that a booty hole piercing?" She laughs and says "yep, you wanna see it?" Of course we were like sure! She sits down in front of us, lays back, lifts em up and spreads em wide. It was certainly a boothole piercing, with the other end of the barbell coming out just below the bottom of her hoo-hah.

I learned a lot that day.
 

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