This is all going to be my fault....

Back Alley Gator

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Ok...buckle up...this is going to be a crazy one.

There are days when I am so glad I'm not my girlfriend....not even taking the gender differences into account....today is one of those days. And yet....I'm sure this will all somehow be my fault. ;)

Here's where the TL;DR fags bail. :)

So....i have a de facto stepson....he's 21 and has finally met THE ONE. The only girl in the entire fuching world for him. Same girl has graduated from college and has landed her first job in Chicago. Stepson is 1 year behind her.

What could possibly go wrong? Well...gf (stepsons mom) and gf's mom have decided (along with stepsons gf) to have a "girls weekend" without him. So the three of them can have fun and get to know each other.

danger-will-robinson-lost-in-space.gif the-simpsons-cartoons.gif


So...today starts this weekend. I am, wisely, staying home, taking care of the dog, and hunting deer. GF and grandmom are jetting off to Chicago.

Grandmoms flight is cancelled and rebooked 3 hrs later and she's pissed.

So...all is well.. they both meet up and head to the hotel.

At 3PM I get a frantic call from grandmom's phone. GF has LOST her phone somewhere on Chicago's train system. Can I please call verizon and lock it down.

Call Verizon...talk to ashook...hopefully get phone locked.

Get frantic call at 315 PM from grandmom asking if I know what hotel they are staying at, because GF has gone back to look for phone and grandmom has no clue where they are staying.

As of right now...we have a GF without her phone. A grand mom who has no idea where she's spending the night. A love interest who has no way of contacting anyone involved A stepson who is likely far more drunk than me. And I'm sitting here cracking open my second bottle of moonshine.

Gnite y'all....somehow the impending UF-UT blowout on Saturday isn't all that bad.....
 
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Ironhead

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Ok...buckle up...this is going to be a crazy one.

There are days when I am so glad I'm not my girlfriend....not even taking the gender differences into account....today is one of those days. And yet....I'm sure this will all somehow be my fault.

Here's where the TL;DR fags bail. :)

So....i have a de facto stepson....he's 21 and has finally met THE ONE. The only girl in the entire fuching world for him. OMG...LOL..FML...etc. Same girl has graduated from college and has landed her first job in Chicago. Stepson is 1 year behind her. He's talking marriage and kids and all kinds of stupid chit at 21.

What could possibly go wrong? Well...gf (stepsons mom) and gf's mom have decided (along with stepsons gf) to have a "girls weekend" without him. So the three of them can have fun and get to know each other.

View attachment 49107 View attachment 49108

Now....grandmom is a headcase. No...srsly....she's worse than me on a bad day and @oxrageous at his most manic. You have NO CLUE what you're going to get on any given day.

So...today starts this weekend. I am, wisely, staying home, taking care of the dog, and hunting deer. GF and grandmom are jetting off to Chicago.

Grandmoms flight is cancelled and rebooked 3 hrs later and she's pissed. GF is a basket case because she doesn't want grandmom torpedoing stepsons fuchtoy.

So...all is well.. they both meet up and head to the hotel.

At 3PM I get a frantic call from grandmom's phone. GF has LOST her phone somewhere on Chicago's train system. Can I please call verizon and lock it down. FML. Now I'm involved.

Call Verizon...talk to ashook...hopefully get phone locked.

Get frantic call at 315 PM from grandmom asking if I know what hotel they are staying at, because GF has gone back to look for phone and grandmom has no clue where they are staying.

No.No I don;t know where you are staying. You see....my goal in all of this is to be left alone and not be involved.

I have failed.

As of right now...we have a GF without her phone. A grand mom who has no idea where she's spending the night. A love interest who has no way of contacting anyone involved A stepson who is likely far more drunk than me. And I'm sitting here cracking open my second bottle of moonshine.

Gnite y'all....somehow the impending UF-UT blowout on Saturday isn't all that bad.....
Holy shiit dude, that’s funny as hell.
Thanks for sharing.

Please amuse us with the updates too!!
 

Back Alley Gator

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You tagged me on this trash

My bad. I should have prefaced it with:

AR is gonna explode this weekend in Knoxville. I see him throwing for 400 yards and running for 200. OMG OMG....this is gonna be EPIC.........NAPIER is da man....oh god....I just nutted.....
 

Back Alley Gator

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Ok....so here's the miraculous update.

First, GF's phone was found and TURNED IN. GF was able to retrieve said phone and has been on call with Verison for the last 1.5 hrs trying to convince them to let her use it.

Grandmom has gone to the liquor store and is not talking to anyone other than me, via short texts like "The Goose is Loose" or "Absolute-ly"

I have no idea if GF has full access to her phone. I have no idea if love interest is aware of any of this....I am 100% sure that stepson has passed out in an alley,

At this point I'm mixing up 5 gallons of water with 15 lbs of winter wheat. I'll know more around this time next week.
 

B52G8rAC

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Ok....so here's the miraculous update.

First, GF's phone was found and TURNED IN. GF was able to retrieve said phone and has been on call with Verison for the last 1.5 hrs trying to convince them to let her use it.

Grandmom has gone to the liquor store and is not talking to anyone other than me, via short texts like "The Goose is Loose" or "Absolute-ly"

I have no idea if GF has full access to her phone. I have no idea if love interest is aware of any of this....I am 100% sure that stepson has passed out in an alley,

At this point I'm mixing up 5 gallons of water with 15 lbs of winter wheat. I'll know more around this time next week.
I would turn off all electronic communications devices and simulate no contact for the next 3 days. Adult women in Chicago should be OK without you for that long.
 

AlexDaGator

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At this point I'm mixing up 5 gallons of water with 15 lbs of winter wheat. I'll know more around this time next week.

Parks And Recreation Vodka GIF


Alex.
 
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Double Gator Dad

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Very funny story and I hope you keep us updated.

I do agree that this will somehow be all your fault!
 

soflagator

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Can I say this nicely? Bail. Today. The whole thing.

Trust me when I tell you, you’re gonna be knee deep in drama your whole life, with a MIL insisting in silly things and constantly overreacting, and a FIL falling off the wagon on your watch, leaving you caring for him as he does show tunes at a hotel lobby bar on the back of Johnnie Black and tries to talk to anyone who will listen about 1031 exchanges. Believe me. This is going to get really bad, really quick.

Leave and never come back.
 

Back Alley Gator

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Can I say this nicely? Bail. Today. The whole thing.

Trust me when I tell you, you’re gonna be knee deep in drama your whole life, with a MIL insisting in silly things and constantly overreacting, and a FIL falling off the wagon on your watch, leaving you caring for him as he does show tunes at a hotel lobby bar on the back of Johnnie Black and tries to talk to anyone who will listen about 1031 exchanges. Believe me. This is going to get really bad, really quick.

Leave and never come back.
Wow....thats dark.
 
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cover2

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You tagged me on this trash?
Probably something to do with knowledge/experience with estrogen-induced emergencies :dunno:

And just for the record @Back Alley Gator is “FML” similar to “FMH?” FMH was what me and my peer group would express when schit wasn’t going our way.
 
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CDGator

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Probably something to do with knowledge/experience with estrogen-induced emergencies :dunno:

And just for the record @Back Alley Gator is “FML” similar to “FMH?” FMH was what me and my peer group would express when schit wasn’t going our way.
Seeing as though @Back Alley Gator may not be back with us for a few days, I'll try to answer.

I'm not familiar with FMH but FML used to be a website where people could post about their stories about really bad days/life. Some were truly hilarious. What is the H in FMH?

Now FML is a term for having a really bad day.
 

cover2

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Seeing as though @Back Alley Gator may not be back with us for a few days, I'll try to answer.

I'm not familiar with FMH but FML used to be a website where people could post about their stories about really bad days/life. Some were truly hilarious. What is the H in FMH?

Now FML is a term for having a really bad day.
“H” is for “harder” :whistle:
 

CDGator

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Ok...buckle up...this is going to be a crazy one.

There are days when I am so glad I'm not my girlfriend....not even taking the gender differences into account....today is one of those days. And yet....I'm sure this will all somehow be my fault. ;)

Here's where the TL;DR fags bail. :)

So....i have a de facto stepson....he's 21 and has finally met THE ONE. The only girl in the entire fuching world for him. Same girl has graduated from college and has landed her first job in Chicago. Stepson is 1 year behind her.

What could possibly go wrong? Well...gf (stepsons mom) and gf's mom have decided (along with stepsons gf) to have a "girls weekend" without him. So the three of them can have fun and get to know each other.

View attachment 49107 View attachment 49108


So...today starts this weekend. I am, wisely, staying home, taking care of the dog, and hunting deer. GF and grandmom are jetting off to Chicago.

Grandmoms flight is cancelled and rebooked 3 hrs later and she's pissed.

So...all is well.. they both meet up and head to the hotel.

At 3PM I get a frantic call from grandmom's phone. GF has LOST her phone somewhere on Chicago's train system. Can I please call verizon and lock it down.

Call Verizon...talk to ashook...hopefully get phone locked.

Get frantic call at 315 PM from grandmom asking if I know what hotel they are staying at, because GF has gone back to look for phone and grandmom has no clue where they are staying.

As of right now...we have a GF without her phone. A grand mom who has no idea where she's spending the night. A love interest who has no way of contacting anyone involved A stepson who is likely far more drunk than me. And I'm sitting here cracking open my second bottle of moonshine.

Gnite y'all....somehow the impending UF-UT blowout on Saturday isn't all that bad.....
bored waiting GIF
 

CDGator

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Jul 24, 2020
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FML...this is all going to be my fault.

We are doing one final family beach vacation next summer in honor of Seedy's parents passing. Something we did with them every 5 years. They would pay for 3 houses for about 40 people and we were all grateful. Now instead of the logical family reunion/vacation where you tell everyone the date and location and let everyone rent a place for themselves our family decided this year to do it the most difficult way possible. We rented 3 houses with 23 bedrooms for 52 people and two newborns. We charged each family by the #of bedrooms. One family chose to pay for 2 bedrooms and decided to put 9 people in there. Why, why, why?

Here's the worst part - it's somehow fallen on me and my SIL to make sure everyone can live with their room assignments. I've spent days with a spreadsheet trying to take everyone's wishes into consideration. We can't please everyone so I'm about ready to make sure that everyone is unhappy. :headslap:

Seedy wants to refund everyone their money and say see you there....or not! I'm so close to choosing this option.

FML
 

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