I have zip to offer on now-a-days' golf.
Back in the 70's I tried to learn golf by buying a set of clubs and going out alone,
using as my teacher just golf-swings I saw on TV. Since I lived in Blacksburg, Va
I had to learn on steep hillside unfairways with "iceberg-like" boulders protruding
along those unfairways. So, the very first time I pressed my 2nd-shot iron on the grass
behind my ball, lifted up to waggle it, the darn ball rolled 15 yards back down the hill.
Along one unfairway I was embarrassed by those gawking at me ... a herd of dairy-cows
had their heads over their fence staring at me - (cows are cutely curious).
Finally, I moved back home to Jax, FL. On a day, right after a horrendous downpour my
next door neighbor, Mr.Blackman, showed up at my door, insisting he was going to teach
me golf. His reasoning, our rough-hewn local course wouldn't be crowded due to the
marsh-mud post-storm condition. I tried to beg off -- already feeling the embarrassment.
Mr. Blackman was nattily-dressed in colorful golf attire, looking brand-spanking new.
On the first hole, as I drew back my driver I heard a gosh-awful wail. I turned towards the
emergency scream just in time to see Mr.Blackman launch his body like an cliff diver into
a 3 foot deep swamp-trough. He'd spun 'round, threw his hands upweird and dived. Apparently
my back swing frightened him into needing more separation and that put him beyond the lip
of that ditch. To his credit, we drove 20 minutes home. He changed clothes, came to my door
and recruited me again.
Later a friend insisted I play in his one-missing foursome. Being a man of my word, especially after losing 2 balls, I stood at the Tee on that Ft. George hole
where the green is on a steep cliff jutting straight up about 50 feet, I held up my last ball and announced to all, "once I lose this ball my golfing days are over". After
teeing off, I walked the rest of the course with enjoyable banter denied me while I was trying to do right at playing golf.
