Welp...

[soflagator]

I usually figure it out just beforehand...

Just before, huh?

 

[Altitude Gator]

Just before, huh?

View attachment 68259

Seems some folks don't know what causes this! Got a neighbor with SEVEN kids. I asked him if he knows what causes it - he seemed dumbfounded.

 

[Nalt]

Seems some folks don't know what causes this! Got a neighbor with SEVEN kids. I asked him if he knows what causes it - he seemed dumbfounded.

Mrs. Nalt and I have eight. Our next door neighbors have equaled our number by their recent birth of unexpected twins. Regarding our family, I blame the wife and the county Probate Judge. She made me agree to those adoptions...

 

[Back Alley Gator]

Just before, huh?

View attachment 68259

The just in time supply chain is now the industry standard. I'm just sayin...

 

[Seedy]

May I suggest

Story Generator

Automatic short story generator tool. Choose some keywords and we will automatically create a short story in seconds.

www.plot-generator.org.uk

 

[Back Alley Gator]

May I suggest

Story Generator

Automatic short story generator tool. Choose some keywords and we will automatically create a short story in seconds.

www.plot-generator.org.uk

Name of protagonist: CD Gator
Secondary character: Urg
...
Yes. I think this will do nicely....

 

[Seedy]

I totally missed the "fill with random" button at the top. Perhaps she can just click RANDOM until she likes the story...then post here.

The Sun that Shone like Cooking Flamingos | Short Story Generator

By Random Writer.... Tony Slaughterhouse had always loved hilly Falmouth with its sweet, slow swamps. It was a place where he felt puzzled. He was an adorable, thoughtful, port drinker with feathery eyebrows and...

www.plot-generator.org.uk

 

[Altitude Gator]

May I suggest

Story Generator

Automatic short story generator tool. Choose some keywords and we will automatically create a short story in seconds.

www.plot-generator.org.uk

I am not so sure this is a good idea, but, hey...

 

[CDGator]

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale
by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

 

[Altitude Gator]

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale​

by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

TLDR

 

[soflagator]

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale​

by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

 

[CDGator]

TLDR

#MeToo

 

[Bernardo de la Paz]

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale​

by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

 

[B52G8rAC]

Seems some folks don't know what causes this! Got a neighbor with SEVEN kids. I asked him if he knows what causes it - he seemed dumbfounded.

My youngest and his wife have 9. All my grandkids. She was brought up in a "full quiver" home.

 

[Nalt]

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale​

by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

Cool story Bro! But I'm thinking it is nothing more than an attempt to distract everyone from the original intent of this thread...

 

[CDGator]

Cool story Bro! But I'm thinking it is nothing more than an attempt to distract everyone from the original intent of this thread...

What if that’s what I originally posted and deleted?

 

[cover2]

Just before, huh?

View attachment 68259

Freight Train ain’t got good brakes

 

[Nalt]

What if that’s what I originally posted and deleted?

Mmmm, not buying it...

 

[Theologator]

@CDGator

CD Gator and the Three Fuzzy Aardvarks​

A Fairy Tale​

by noneya​

Once upon a time there was a energetic girl called CD Gator. She was on the way to see her spouse Seedy Gator, when she decided to take a short cut through Snotchester Forest.
It wasn't long before CD got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Terrance the Moose, but Terrance the Moose was nowhere to be found! CD began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Terrance the Moose. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fuzzy aardvark dressed in a blue jumper disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought CD.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed aardvark. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, CD reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from turnips, a house made from toffees, a house made from muffins and a house made from biscuits.
CD could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
CD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving CD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Terrance the Moose!
"Terrance the Moose!" shouted CD. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Terrance the Moose back!" cried CD.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Terrance the Moose out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three fuzzy aardvarks rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. CD recognised the one in the blue jumper that she'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Aardvark," said the witch.
"Good morning." The aardvark noticed Terrance the Moose. "Who is this?"
"That's Terrance the Moose," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Terrance the Moose would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the aardvark.
The witch shook her head. "Terrance the Moose is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." CD interrupted. "Terrance the Moose lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Aardvark ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Aardvark looked at the house made from biscuits and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from biscuits if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next aardvark. "I could eat twohouses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Terrance the Moose."
CD watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Terrance the Moose to Big Aardvark. She didn't think Terrance the Moose would like living with a fuzzy aardvark, away from her house and all her other toys.
The other two aardvarks watched while Big Aardvark put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Big Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Aardvark started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of toffees, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Aardvark.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Average Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Aardvark started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm an aardvark!" said Average Aardvark.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Aardvark, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the aardvark away under his arm.
Average Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Aardvark stepped up, and approached the house made from biscuits.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Aardvark. "Just you watch!"
Little Aardvark pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from biscuits. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Aardvark started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating biscuits for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Aardvark into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Aardvark. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Aardvark was never seen again.

Little Aardvark never finished eating the front door made from biscuits and Terrance the Moose remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Terrance the Moose."
"Not so fast," said CD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from turnips. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the aardvarks. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said CD.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Terrance the Moose back."
CD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from turnips and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
CD sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained CD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When CD's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from turnips. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, CD was down to the final piece of the door made from turnips. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. CD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from turnips.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Terrance the Moose or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
CD hurried over and grabbed Terrance the Moose, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Terrance the Moose was unharmed.
CD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Seedy. It was starting to get dark.
When CD got to Seedy's house, her spouse threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Seedy. "You are very late."
As CD described her day, she could tell that Seedy didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Seedy.
CD unwrapped a doorknob made from toffees. "Pudding!" she said.
Seedy almost fell off his chair.
The End

Møøse bites are pretti nasti.

 

[Back Alley Gator]

@CDGator


Møøse bites are pretti nasti.

A møøse once bit my sister....