You ever have one of those days?

ThreatMatrix

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
Aug 28, 2014
16,540
26,088
Took a short cut this morning.
Should know better.
I got a ticket there 10 years ago.
So it's about half a mile of road but they got a speed trap set up so they pull me over.
Black cop #ABCAB.
Cop tells me I have an outstanding ticket and my license is suspended.
First I've heard of it.
****ing red light camera. Illegal search and seizure if you ask me.
He writes ticket for 15 mph over instead of 14 cuz he's a dick.
Actually says to me "Since you got a recent ticket I'm gonna **** you over more". Or something to that affect.
So I ask where to go first, he says DMV but... my license is suspended so I'm not allowed to drive there.
Okay fine. Wait for him to leave and head for the DMV.

Need to pay off ticket first so head to Court Clerk instead.
Park, then realize I don't have a mask .
Head home for mask.
Walk into DMV with checkbook in hand. They ask for my DL.
Cop took my DL.
They don't take CC or Check without ID.
However they will take cash.
And I'm in the wrong county for the outstanding ticket.

Head for bank to get cash.
Bank branch is closed.
Find an open branch.
Present check for cash to pay ticket to get my DL back.
Bank wants DL...
before they will give me cash...
to pay ticket...
so that I can get my DL.
Joseph Heller would be proud.
I don't have my DL. (see above)
That's okay we can use your ATM card for ID.
My ATM card is expired. (I never use it)
That's okay we can give you a new one.
Go sit in the corner with this dunce cap on and we will call you.
They call me. New lady accepts my passport card as ID.
Gives me temporary card.
Cashier doesn't know what to do with it.
Calls manager over.
They figure it out and give me cash.

Head to Court Clerk in correct county.
She asks for DL :bwahaha:
I told you it's suspended.
Civil Servants :loser:
Lady is behind a 10 foot barrier with the plexiglass holes that you talk through covered up but keeps giving me schit about my mask not covering my nose. :loser:
F you lady. My glasses fog up.
Take my money bytch.
Eventually she pays the fine and reinstates my DL.
But I still don't have a real DL.

Head for DMV. (in the other county).
Take a number and wait.
Finally get called up.
"I need a replacement DL, a cop took it" I says.
"Okay " she says. "Can I see your DL?"
Civil Servants :loser:
"What don't you understand?" I think.
"I don't have it, that's why I'm here (you nimrod)".
"Okay answer some questions" She says.
"Have you ever had your license suspended?"
I can tell I'm dealing with a real genius here. No doubt a Biden voter.
Yes, I've had my license suspended. No, I've never been judged crazy (professionally). No, I don't want my organs donated.

Eventually I get my ID and I'm no longer a wanted man in Orange County.
Now I just have to decide what to do about today's ticket.
 

stephenPE

Senior Member
Lifetime Member
Jul 20, 2014
20,385
15,395
JFC........THIS is why I live in a small town and head to Lake Butler for all my civic and state needs. 3 ladies and no waiting. If I need offical papers right down the street is state of Fla health dept. where all important documents can be retrieved and copied for me. This new world is not kindly to those of us that grew up in simpler times. Hell, before I leave the house its "where are my keys, wallet, phone, mask, list to remind me WTF Im going for" ...........The mask is easy. I leave it on the dash of my truck and being "small town Mayberry" my keys and wallet are already in there most of the time.........i need a drink just reading that clstrfkkk ...........
 

AlexDaGator

Founding Member
The Hammer of Thor
Lifetime Member
Jun 19, 2014
12,702
31,651
Founding Member
Took a short cut this morning.
Should know better.
I got a ticket there 10 years ago.
So it's about half a mile of road but they got a speed trap set up so they pull me over.
Black cop #ABCAB.
Cop tells me I have an outstanding ticket and my license is suspended.
First I've heard of it.
****ing red light camera. Illegal search and seizure if you ask me.
He writes ticket for 15 mph over instead of 14 cuz he's a dick.
Actually says to me "Since you got a recent ticket I'm gonna **** you over more". Or something to that affect.
So I ask where to go first, he says DMV but... my license is suspended so I'm not allowed to drive there.
Okay fine. Wait for him to leave and head for the DMV.

Need to pay off ticket first so head to Court Clerk instead.
Park, then realize I don't have a mask .
Head home for mask.
Walk into DMV with checkbook in hand. They ask for my DL.
Cop took my DL.
They don't take CC or Check without ID.
However they will take cash.
And I'm in the wrong county for the outstanding ticket.

Head for bank to get cash.
Bank branch is closed.
Find an open branch.
Present check for cash to pay ticket to get my DL back.
Bank wants DL...
before they will give me cash...
to pay ticket...
so that I can get my DL.
Joseph Heller would be proud.
I don't have my DL. (see above)
That's okay we can use your ATM card for ID.
My ATM card is expired. (I never use it)
That's okay we can give you a new one.
Go sit in the corner with this dunce cap on and we will call you.
They call me. New lady accepts my passport card as ID.
Gives me temporary card.
Cashier doesn't know what to do with it.
Calls manager over.
They figure it out and give me cash.

Head to Court Clerk in correct county.
She asks for DL :bwahaha:
I told you it's suspended.
Civil Servants :loser:
Lady is behind a 10 foot barrier with the plexiglass holes that you talk through covered up but keeps giving me schit about my mask not covering my nose. :loser:
F you lady. My glasses fog up.
Take my money bytch.
Eventually she pays the fine and reinstates my DL.
But I still don't have a real DL.

Head for DMV. (in the other county).
Take a number and wait.
Finally get called up.
"I need a replacement DL, a cop took it" I says.
"Okay " she says. "Can I see your DL?"
Civil Servants :loser:
"What don't you understand?" I think.
"I don't have it, that's why I'm here (you nimrod)".
"Okay answer some questions" She says.
"Have you ever had your license suspended?"
I can tell I'm dealing with a real genius here. No doubt a Biden voter.
Yes, I've had my license suspended. No, I've never been judged crazy (professionally). No, I don't want my organs donated.

Eventually I get my ID and I'm no longer a wanted man in Orange County.
Now I just have to decide what to do about today's ticket.

I don't know you, but if I ever meet you, I'm buying you a drink. Top shelf too, I ain't cheapin' out after that story.


Alex.
 

CDGator

Not Seedy
Lifetime Member
Jul 24, 2020
15,807
43,757
JFC........THIS is why I live in a small town and head to Lake Butler for all my civic and state needs. 3 ladies and no waiting. If I need offical papers right down the street is state of Fla health dept. where all important documents can be retrieved and copied for me. This new world is not kindly to those of us that grew up in simpler times. Hell, before I leave the house its "where are my keys, wallet, phone, mask, list to remind me WTF Im going for" ...........The mask is easy. I leave it on the dash of my truck and being "small town Mayberry" my keys and wallet are already in there most of the time.........i need a drink just reading that clstrfkkk ...........

Sounds nice and sterile :lol:
Good thing you wear your mask though.
 

jdh5484

Founding Member
Just Beat UGa
Lifetime Member
Jun 30, 2014
9,274
30,811
Founding Member
Sounds nice and sterile :lol:
Good thing you wear your mask though.
Really ... leaving it out like that the virus will lay little covid eggs all over it.
Country bumpkins.
 

CDGator

Not Seedy
Lifetime Member
Jul 24, 2020
15,807
43,757
Really ... leaving it out like that the virus will lay little covid eggs all over it.
Country bumpkins.

It’s bio-hazardous material and should be properly disposed of after each use. It’s powerful enough to shut down economies. Have some respect, c’mon man!
 
Last edited:

Nalt

Well-Known Member
Jul 23, 2020
6,626
18,112
I like the folks that hang it from their rear view mirror like a fuching trophy or something.
I bet you have a set of "truck nuts" hanging from the rear of your truck. Don'tcha?

2012-05-11-Truck_Nuts.jpg


My apologies to CD and any other ladies on GC...
 

itsgr82bag8r

Founding Member
Tell your mom I said hi
Lifetime Member
Jun 11, 2014
22,328
28,415
Founding Member
I bet you have a set of "truck nuts" hanging from the rear of your truck. Don'tcha?

2012-05-11-Truck_Nuts.jpg


My apologies to CD and any other ladies on GC...

Well, at least they’re pink nuts.

I’ve seen a truck on the road with blue ones. Not sure the dude thought that one through. :lol:
 

-THE DUDE-

Founding Member
This is the year!!!
Jun 11, 2014
5,593
7,871
Founding Member
Sounds nice and sterile :lol:
Good thing you wear your mask though.

I use one of those neck gaiters and it’s wadded up in my car at all times. Thing is so thin you can literally see through it but counts as a “mask” that will save you from the China virus...god I love this country
 

CDGator

Not Seedy
Lifetime Member
Jul 24, 2020
15,807
43,757
I use one of those neck gaiters and it’s wadded up in my car at all times. Thing is so thin you can literally see through it but counts as a “mask” that will save you from the China virus...god I love this country

That's exactly right. It's all symbolic.
It's like choosing your gang colors. Which side of the civil war are you on? The masked or unmasked?
 

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