My dad would turn 89 tomorrow if he was still with us. I cannot stress too much the importance of father's in the lives of children. I hung out with little kids most of my adult life. Literally hundreds that grew up without a dad or father figure. Sometimes I think I became that figure. You could see it in their faces, boys and girls, how much approval they craved from an adult. How much they wanted to show you or tell you how well they had done on something. It occurs to me at this instant, this late in life, that my job was 75% cheer leader. I guess I should have realized it long before as I was chosen "most school spirit" as a senior. I still think those nine varsity letters I earned in three sports made me most athletic. But I loved Anthony (Wolf) Crawford and he was a great choice (RIP).
Fathers are unique in that they are supposed to be strong but soft with kids. It is a fine line. For instance my youngest and I are doing lots with her back handsprings and then binge watching Harry Potter. But last night I had to say no. School night and I told her I want to READ book three so I can better keep up with the story line in the movie. Saying no was not easy. How many more times will my 12 yr old want to do something together?
These are the things I know for sure. Children need our attention. They need reassurance they are loved and valued and worthy. If your young ones come to you to talk stop what you are doing if possible and LISTEN...........Don't jump in with advice or corrections right away. LET them talk. Encourage them to examine what they are talking and even go beyond the initial idea. They are not hear just for our entertainment. It is our duty to nurture them and give them a safe place till they can deal with the world. But also to keep them from making REAL bad choices.
Maybe it is my age and knowing this is my last young child. I want to hold on to each moment as they come and not miss a chance to connect. I know how much fun I had with my dad on vacations and fishing trips and all the things families used to do before the world accelerated beyond my ability to stay focused.
My dad was raised by two people born in the 19th century. He learned things that if not gone completely are quickly disappearing. I loved to hear him tell stories about his childhood and military days. He was not a perfect father but as fathers go he was top 10 easily. I have made errors in parenthood, manhood and relationships. I am not proud of of some of it. But I love my children and family and those I chose to be family. Kids don't come with instructions. But if you pay attention and listen and do what is right it should be wonderful thing.
I just got this on FB from a former student. Out of the blue she posted it on her timeline. Im taking it as a sign to get off my ass and be more productive...........
I had a dream I was trying to please or apologize to everyone in my past who was ever upset with me & coach
Steve pulled me to the side & said “you have to stop this. Anyone who doesn’t respect you will never make you happy. You have to let go of the old, to make room for the new. Stop wasting your heart on people who don’t deserve it”
This is why good teachers are sooo important. My coach from elementary school implanted in my head as a child, that I’m worthy & to never let others make you feel small. Even in my mid-twenties his words are still in my subconscious-ness & help me in my adulthood.
She is one of those
millennials that is struggling. An amazing young girl. She graduated college a few years ago. Her passion is art. I hope she can find a way to live and continue her art.............