Film Reviews - what have you seen lately, what did you think?

[TLB]

I lol'd

TLB;DR all the damn time.


On the tip about Luc's movies...didn't realize he also did:
Transporter series (liked 'em)
Taxi series (never heard of 'em)
Unleashed (one of my more liked Jet Li films)
Taken series (meh)

 

[Detroitgator]

TLB;DR all the damn time.


On the tip about Luc's movies...didn't realize he also did:
Transporter series (liked 'em)
Taxi series (never heard of 'em)
Unleashed (one of my more liked Jet Li films)
Taken series (meh)

He's done a TON of stuff , but you can see the difference between them with what his role was in the movie... he's written, produced, and directed. His movies I like the most, he's actually directed. Then there are some of his movies that he's written or produced that I like too. The one surprise for me was always Revolver because I didn't realize he co-wrote it with Guy Ritchie (I'm a fan of Guy Ritchie movies, and he pretty much writes all his stuff).

 

[gingerlover]

Mission Impossible 75 (Free Rental) - You know good damn well who this stars. Ethan Hunt and crew have to stop an AI all the world is trying to get their hands on. He is also competing with an enemy from his past that is being helped by the AI. This is one of the few series where each one has gotten better or at least been on par with the other entries. Lots of cool stuff happens. 8/10

Blackberry (AMC) - Interesting flick on the rise and fall of Blackberry. Nothing special, but interesting how they started and how they failed. 6/10

Blue Beetle (Max) - Stars the kid from Cobra Kai and George Lopez. Lets start with the obvious. The kid got a raw deal because they made this movie to be a Max film but once they decided to reboot threw it into theaters in an attempt to recoup some money. I'm assuming they had a plan to make a lot of these to eventually have a B team cast from the streaming network. To the plot.

Film takes place in a fictional Miami type city filled with immigrants from all over Mexico, South & Central America. Evil rich corporation runs the city and even controls all the police. The company was founded by the original Blue Beetles father and was left to him, instead of evil parter Susan Sarandon. When the original Blue Beetle goes missing she assumed control and turns the company even eviler looking for the scarab to use its powers to make a super soldier army. The daughter of the original steals it and gives it to an unwitting just out of college slum kid. It bonds with him and then it becomes a fight to keep it out of the bad guys hands.

So many questions. In a world with the Justice League how does this city even exist with an authoritative and murdering corporation running it? Why is almost 80 year old Susan Sarandon playing the villain like she has seduction powers from Bull Durham? Why the hell did they make a movie out of one of the more obscure heroes outside of they could cast a minority based on the 3rd comic book character? Its not horrible if free, but it also gets tiring. Every time George Lopez is on screen hes on a rant about the plight of illegal immigrants or how white people are bad. Then you throw in the whole, if Sarandon's character wasn't passed over because of sexism she wouldn't be evil. Lots to unpack in a movie on par with an episode of Smallville. 4/10

The Killer (Netflix) - Stars Michael Fassbender as an assassin. His hit goes wrong and a bounty is put out on him, with someone he cares about being affected. He then goes on a revenge tour that outside of one fight scene is a little bland. This movie could have had some time shaved off and at times is a little boring trying to hard to be a think piece about his process and motives. 6/10

The Retirement Plan (Free Rental) - Nic Cage stars. This one looked out there enough with some of his wacky stuff that is good, but sadly started promising and fell off as it went. Basically he is a retired CIA agent who's estranged daughter and grand daughter show up for help. It then turns into a somewhat comedy of him trying to save them and defeat the bad guys. Some other people you know show up. 5/10

Jerry and Marge Go Large (Paramount +) - Bryan Cranston & Annette Benning star. Its a fluff film with a feel good story. A recently retired man with an ability with numbers figures out a loop hole in a lottery game. He then helps his town win large sums to help revitalize it. 6/10

Pain Hustlers (Netflix) - Chris Evans & Emily Blunt. Basically another look into the pharmaceutical industry and their sales tactics. This one is played more on the comedy/drama scale compared to the mini series, but ends the same way. Turns out they were pushing something horrible. Has it's moments and stars Emily Blunt. 6/10

Five Nights at Freddy's (Peacock) - The one my 11 year old and all his friends have been waiting on. Based on the game series. Evil Chucky Cheese. Basically they need a night guard for an abandoned Freddy Fazzbear's Pizza. A down on his luck guy gets the job to provide for his little sister. Strange things start to happen and with help of a local cop he learns the secrets that children went missing and the formal owner was accused of murdering them. During all of this you have a lots of flashbacks to his brother being kidnapped as a kid that lead to his trauma. Turns out the animatronics are alive and will kill anyone they feel is a threat, but are controlled by a man in a yellow rabbit suit. He has to piece things together in time to save his little sister that had befriended them one night.

To say my kid was hyped for this is an understatement. This is the game series his group are all into and the few that have been allowed to see it can't stop talking about it. The backstory isn't any worse than other horror back stories, but can be bothersome to some (my wife for example). Its stays pretty close to the games, with only a little change for the movie. The effects are also practical choosing to go with the Jim Henson company as opposed to CGI. Gore is very limited and like the games relies more on jump scares and suspense. Honestly its got a huge following, but plays like it's made for pre-teens that are just getting into something cool and scary. I did some research before ever letting him play this series, but it's not horrible if your older kids can handle it. Trust me I heard the whole breakdown of the history of it after seeing it and how it differed. From an outsider standpoint its a 6.5. From my kids standpoint and fan of the game it was 10/10. They made sure to say through the whole process it was made for the fans.

 

[TLB]

Legion (2010) <Netflix>

IMDB: When a group of strangers at a dusty roadside diner come under attack by demonic forces, their only chance for survival lies with an archangel named Michael, who informs a pregnant waitress that her unborn child is humanity's last hope.

TLB: Lot of familliar faces, no characters you really care about. Premise is end of world and God is sending his army of angels to cleanse the earth. Gabriel (Paul Bettany) comes to down to save humanity - cuts off his wings, gets to the remote desert gas station with a handful of randoms to fight off the hordes of angels with unlimited bullets and incredible accuracy on spray-and-pray shooting by this gaggle of civilians. Not great action, not much plot/story, again we don't care about the characters. Feels like it is over a decade old, but wasn't good even then.

Final: 4/10 skip it.

 

[TLB]

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)

IMDB: A ship sent to investigate a wave of mysterious sinkings encounters the advanced submarine, the Nautilus, commanded by Captain Nemo.

TLB: Yes, the Disney classic. I'm trying to clear off space on my hard drives so I'm watching to see if there are any keepers or all just watch-n-delete. I had forgotten this one's cast - James Mason plays a twisted Nemo very well, offset by Prof. Arronax (Paul Lukas). We have Peter Loirre as supporting Arronax, and we throw in Mike Douglas as a harpooner who gets into the mix and provides some storyline conflict. Special effects are what you expect for 1954, but the dialogue and story actually make Nemo a relatable villian of sorts, Douglas is the realistic/practical survival mindset, while Lukas tries to walk between them and bring Nemo from his anti-human mindset over to helping humanity. Honestly, this started me down a rabbit hole of IMDB links to other old films I may get to later. But this one remains a classic - old and 'vintage' but very good for it's time.

Final: 6/10 only for nostalgia, newer generations won't be able to relate (I kept trying to think of a setting for a reboot, and it just doesn't work).

 

[DarksideGator]

Watched No Hard Feelings on Netflix. The crazy Lib Jennifer Lawerence is the lead. Parts of the movie had me in tears laughing. Seeing her naked was not bad on the eyes either.

 

[Detroitgator]

Legion (2010) <Netflix>

IMDB: When a group of strangers at a dusty roadside diner come under attack by demonic forces, their only chance for survival lies with an archangel named Michael, who informs a pregnant waitress that her unborn child is humanity's last hope.

TLB: Lot of familliar faces, no characters you really care about. Premise is end of world and God is sending his army of angels to cleanse the earth. Gabriel (Paul Bettany) comes to down to save humanity - cuts off his wings, gets to the remote desert gas station with a handful of randoms to fight off the hordes of angels with unlimited bullets and incredible accuracy on spray-and-pray shooting by this gaggle of civilians. Not great action, not much plot/story, again we don't care about the characters. Feels like it is over a decade old, but wasn't good even then.

Final: 4/10 skip it.

Did he cut off his wings before, or after he informed the pregnant waitress? Did he really need to cut off his wings at all? It sounds like the angels had no problem being down on Earth with their wings? It seems unnecessary to cut off ones wings, they might have come in handy during the fight. Maybe the CGI/special effects budget was low and they wanted to keep things more "terrestrial"?

 

[TLB]

Did he cut off his wings before, or after he informed the pregnant waitress? Did he really need to cut off his wings at all? It sounds like the angels had no problem being down on Earth with their wings? It seems unnecessary to cut off ones wings, they might have come in handy during the fight. Maybe the CGI/special effects budget was low and they wanted to keep things more "terrestrial"?

I'm assuming you have a sarcastic tone on this, but being the literal ninny I am, I will be forced to answer.

He cut them off when he landed, before meeting anyone. I presume so he can 'fit in' while looking for Ms. Preggers. Appearance and 'not freaking everyone out' would be the only reason I can give beyond his 'defying God' mission and perhaps it was a statement towards that as well?

Final boss fight was between Gabriel (wingless) and Michael (winged), so they had enough CGI budget for one guy, at least. But visual cues to help separate opponents in an up-close brawl are often utilized, and wings would be a good indicator of who is who.

Dammit...I am certain you are sarcastic, and I hate that I can't deflect with some witty reply, that I must in fact state the facts. This is what it's like to be hard wired for certain things - makes me dependable, and predictable/manipulatable.

Also...

for making me think any further on this pos film.

 

[Detroitgator]

I'm assuming you have a sarcastic tone on this, but being the literal ninny I am, I will be forced to answer.

He cut them off when he landed, before meeting anyone. I presume so he can 'fit in' while looking for Ms. Preggers. Appearance and 'not freaking everyone out' would be the only reason I can give beyond his 'defying God' mission and perhaps it was a statement towards that as well?

Final boss fight was between Gabriel (wingless) and Michael (winged), so they had enough CGI budget for one guy, at least. But visual cues to help separate opponents in an up-close brawl are often utilized, and wings would be a good indicator of who is who.

Dammit...I am certain you are sarcastic, and I hate that I can't deflect with some witty reply, that I must in fact state the facts. This is what it's like to be hard wired for certain things - makes me dependable, and predictable/manipulatable.

Also...

for making me think any further on this pos film.

Well, in "Michael," John Travolta just hid his dirty assed wings under his coat.... wait... WHUTTTTT??? How in da fuk did Michael get his wings back for the final boss fight and when did Gabriel cut his off?!?!?!??!?

I'M SO CONFUSED!!!?!?!?!?

 

[TheDouglas78]

Well, in "Michael," John Travolta just hid his dirty assed wings under his coat.... wait... WHUTTTTT??? How in da fuk did Michael get his wings back for the final boss fight and when did Gabriel cut his off?!?!?!??!?

I'M SO CONFUSED!!!?!?!?!?

Saw the movie in theaters with Mrs Dougie... you are thinking about this too hard.... It's a bad movie, turn off your brain and watch it... then realized you just watched some schit.

 

[TLB]

No, he’s fishing for me to bite again. This time I’m prepared.

Travolta had them in “Michael” (1996), but was too smart to need them and ditched them in “Phenomenon” (1996). He then proved unworthy as Gabreil in “Swordwish” (2001), compounded by a long string of bad villains in bad movies.

Paul Bettany, otoh, has shown his regenerative abilities as Vision (multiple MCU films), and is big on evolution (see Charles Darwin “Creation” 2009). So he is well prepared to shed and regain said wings. His righteousness is again on display in “Priest” (2011) hunting vampires for God.

This leaves us with Kevin Durand, our Michael in this film, our villain and failed angel. We should have seen this coming in that he has been a bad guy in several tv shows (Touching Evil, ‘Devil’ in The Collector, Swamp Thing 2019, as well as CSI episodes). Poor bastard even got his scenes cut from Scooby-Doo2: Monster Unleashed. He was dead the day he was cast.

 

[TheDouglas78]

No, he’s fishing for me to bite again. This time I’m prepared.

Travolta had them in “Michael” (1996), but was too smart to need them and ditched them in “Phenomenon” (1996). He then proved unworthy as Gabreil in “Swordwish” (2001), compounded by a long string of bad villains in bad movies.

Paul Bettany, otoh, has shown his regenerative abilities as Vision (multiple MCU films), and is big on evolution (see Charles Darwin “Creation” 2009). So he is well prepared to shed and regain said wings. His righteousness is again on display in “Priest” (2011) hunting vampires for God.

This leaves us with Kevin Durand, our Michael in this film, our villain and failed angel. We should have seen this coming in that he has been a bad guy in several tv shows (Touching Evil, ‘Devil’ in The Collector, Swamp Thing 2019, as well as CSI episodes). Poor bastard even got his scenes cut from Scooby-Doo2: Monster Unleashed. He was dead the day he was cast.

after reading this, as a friend i have some advice.... get laid... you spent entirely too much time on this explanation that you could have been plowing @Durty South Swamp wife.... I mean the only dude she has ever turned down was @URGatorBait becuase he wasn't tall enough to ride that ride.

 

[URGatorBait]

after reading this, as a friend i have some advice.... get laid... you spent entirely too much time on this explanation that you could have been plowing @Durty South Swamp wife.... I mean the only dude she has ever turned down was @URGatorBait becuase he wasn't tall enough to ride that ride.

That's a god damned lie.
I paid good money and she acquiesced

 

[Detroitgator]

No, he’s fishing for me to bite again. This time I’m prepared.

Travolta had them in “Michael” (1996), but was too smart to need them and ditched them in “Phenomenon” (1996). He then proved unworthy as Gabreil in “Swordwish” (2001), compounded by a long string of bad villains in bad movies.

Paul Bettany, otoh, has shown his regenerative abilities as Vision (multiple MCU films), and is big on evolution (see Charles Darwin “Creation” 2009). So he is well prepared to shed and regain said wings. His righteousness is again on display in “Priest” (2011) hunting vampires for God.

This leaves us with Kevin Durand, our Michael in this film, our villain and failed angel. We should have seen this coming in that he has been a bad guy in several tv shows (Touching Evil, ‘Devil’ in The Collector, Swamp Thing 2019, as well as CSI episodes). Poor bastard even got his scenes cut from Scooby-Doo2: Monster Unleashed. He was dead the day he was cast.

Well played, sir... well played!

But who is "Gabreil" and what is "Swordwish"????? You keep introducing new problems!!!!

PS "Gratuitous douchey hacker scene" from "Swordfish", coincidentally made in 2001 along with apparently some movie I can't find called "Swordwish... or is this @TheDouglas78 "working remotely"?

PPS In all seriousness, love the reviews!

 

[TLB]

what is "Swordwish"?????

Disney woke version

 

[TheDouglas78]

Well played, sir... well played!

But who is "Gabreil" and what is "Swordwish"????? You keep introducing new problems!!!!

PS "Gratuitous douchey hacker scene" from "Swordfish", coincidentally made in 2001 along with apparently some movie I can't find called "Swordwish... or is this @TheDouglas78 "working remotely"?

PPS In all seriousness, love the reviews!

hacking in movies is so funny. Let me type really, really hard and pretend to be fast. Though I do like Travolta (spelling) as a villain and he was a good villain in Swordwish... the monologs alone were worth his paycheck.

 

[Detroitgator]

hacking in movies is so funny. Let me type really, really hard and pretend to be fast. Though I do like Travolta (spelling) as a villain and he was a good villain in Swordwish... the monologs alone were worth his paycheck.

He plays a similar, but "good" guy role, in From Paris with Love... It was a good flick.

 

[TheDouglas78]

He plays a similar, but "good" guy role, in From Paris with Love... It was a good flick.

will have to check that one out.

 

[Detroitgator]

will have to check that one out.

It’s worth it in my opinion, and it surpasses my “6” rule on IMDB… most things 6 or higher are enjoyable.

 

[bradgator2]

Wife likes to watch those Christmas hallmark movies. Last night she wanted to watch a new one Netflix called Best Christmas Ever. I hate these movies… but it had Heather Graham in it….. so sure, I’ll take a bullet.

Seriously…. The worst movie I have ever watched. With the added benefit that it hit every woke bullet point. I mean…. It had a solar powered hot air balloon that worked at night.

I told my wife I hope it was worth it, because it’ll be years before I let her pick another movie