- Dec 18, 2015
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As promised 1968 vintage burnt linoleum
Tell us your best fire stories
- Thread starter CDGator
- Start date
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- Jul 15, 2014
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This is very, very similar to the story about a 4 year old boy that learned you can't use a paper napkin to send smoke signals from a candle... and drop said flaming napkin on a waxed floor.
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Forgot about this gem.
When he was about 7 ish my Son decided it would be fun to play with matches behind the house, Right next to a FULL 5 gallon gas can.
You would think that falling into a burning leaf pile at 2 would've cured him of his pyromania
edit: He had to explain those scars to the Navy before they accepted him, And the scars from dumping a dirt bike.
When he was about 7 ish my Son decided it would be fun to play with matches behind the house, Right next to a FULL 5 gallon gas can.
You would think that falling into a burning leaf pile at 2 would've cured him of his pyromania
edit: He had to explain those scars to the Navy before they accepted him, And the scars from dumping a dirt bike.
Spectator
Well-Known Member
- Jan 15, 2021
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Here is the best story about Paul Newman I ever heard
“Whats your favorite memory of racing with PLN (Paul Newman) and did it involve the destruction of rental cars?”
Dorsey: “Yes it did! Way back in the day in the early 80’s at Hallett Motor Racing Circuit in Oklahoma. It's out in the middle of an oil field and theres nothing anywhere near it. Closest town is Tulsa and its about 100 miles away. You have to really want to go there to be there. So anyways Newmans running the Bob Sharp 240Z and thats when he had Budweiser and Pioneer stereo as a sponsor. So I had been friends with Newman for a while because I did one off is drivers schools early on. On that particular day at Hallett, its just one of those tracks where theres nothing else to do but watch oil grow but a bunch of people were there, hell of a crowd and Newman broke a gearbox in his 240Z and I broke something so I was out too. We go to the back of the Bob Sharp transporter and the tailgates halfway down and he had called me over. That guy was a big time prankster and he says “I’ve got a deal for you.. I’m pretty good at this, I doubt you are so lets have a contest. The next girl that comes by I’m going to guess her age and I’m going to guess how much she weighs and then we’ll ask her. The one after that is yours and we’ll ask her.” So I’m a dumbass, so I do it and Newman calls this girl by and says “I think she’s 22 and weights 121lbs” and then he says to her “My buddy here just bet me $100 that I couldn’t guess your age or weight”. So of course she says “Oh my god you’re Paul Newman and yes thats my age and you’re only off by 1 pound". So she goes away and he says “Next one’s yours!” And I’m F*****! So I do the same deal and I’m not even close, Im off by around 6 years and 200lbs, not even close. Hahah so thats how that day started! Now at the end of the day after, I cant even think how many Budweisers but I’m talking cases of Budweisers which were free, we sat on the back of that tailgate drinking all day and at the end of the day he says “Hey I got a deal for you.. I’ll bet you one dollar that I can beat you going around this race track backwards." I said “Do you mean in reverse or driving the track in the wrong direction? He said "in reverse!” so we took these two rental cars that the Pioneer Stereo people had and I’ll never forget they were absolutely ****ty rental cars. They were all white Ford Fairmonts which is about the lowest class of rental car ever made and so we took off in reverse to go around the race track. Because they were so slow and had no power it would hit the rev limiter or run out of gear but it took forever to get back so Newman said “That didn’t work so lets change it and do a race in reverse around pit lane,” So he sets up a little course where you go up pit lane the wrong way, in reverse and at the end of pit lane which is pit lane entry you turn and you go across a grassy berm onto the race track and then you go down the front straight in reverse and then you turn again, across another grassy berm and enter pit out and thats a lap. So Newman says “Alright, we get 3 laps of practice each and then we’re doing a 3 lap race.” Ok no problem! Now at this time everybody thats still at the race track is standing there to watch and that included Marty the track manager who had a Mazda RX-7 that was his own personal car and he decided that was going to play too. So in our 3 practice laps, Newman goes first and his first lap was really good, he absolutely nailed it but the second lap on his turn in across the grassy berm back into pit lane he looses it and he stuffs it in the guardrail really hard backwards. It ended up bending the exhaust pipe around from the back around the tire on the rear and exiting back towards the front and it pinched against the tire so hard that it wouldn’t move anymore. So we had to get a tow truck to tow that out of the way. So in the meantime Marty decides he’s going to show everyone how its done in his RX-7 and he flips the F****** thing! Hahaha, he hits the tire wall and does a one and a half sideways roll and ends up on his roof. So I do mine and I made 2 laps and spun on the 3rd and we decided, well we’ve wrecked two rental cars and totaled the track managers car and we’re down to one Ford Fairmont so off we go for the race. Newman gets first shot, he does 3 solid laps and now I know I need to do 3 solid laps a little faster than he did. So I made the first two perfect but on the third one I got really sideways on the grassy berm and I scrubbed a lot of speed and he ends up beating me. By that time we had to go back to the hotel because it was dark by then and we’re drunker than everything and we’re having a great time so Dan Layton (Now at HPD) knows we’re all too drunk to drive so he takes the Budweiser van and loads Me, Newman, and everyone on the Sharp crew thats left to take us all back to the hotel. Theres 14-15 guys in the van with at least 3 cases of beer and we’re just laughing and drinking beer and just having a great old time, an unbelievable time and we dont make it 1/4 mile and there was a road block and the cops have been waiting on us because somebody had ratted us out, you know? So next thing you know they’ve got Layton up against the van and they’re frisking him and he hadn’t done **** wrong, he hadn’t drank a beer so he’s fine and he’s telling them “Im good to drive”. The one cop wants all of our ID’s and he’s going down the line yelling at us and the other cop is taking all the beer from inside of the van and putting it on top of the cop car. Well as guys were getting cleared to go back in the van after they checked your ID, guys were stealing the beer off the top of the Cop car and bringing them back in the van! (Editors note: Ryan and Dorsey are both laughing uncontrollably while Dorsey is telling this story, as you were) So the cop finally gets to Newman and he put the light in his eyes and he’s got these big blue eyes and he’s staring this cop down. The cop practically melts! Newman hits him with one of his movie lines from I think Deliverance, something like “Are you done using my time up now because theres better things I can be doing” or something like that and the cop melts on the spot and he lets us go! We all go back, nobody gets arrested, we stole about half the beer back and drank it all the way back to the hotel. The next morning I wrote Newman a check for “One Dollar and Not a F***** Cent More” Haha thats EXACTLY what I wrote on it and I signed it. Well he actually cashed it! For a buck! Newman doesn’t do autographs but I kept that one, its still in my scrap book. It was a great time!”
“Whats your favorite memory of racing with PLN (Paul Newman) and did it involve the destruction of rental cars?”
Dorsey: “Yes it did! Way back in the day in the early 80’s at Hallett Motor Racing Circuit in Oklahoma. It's out in the middle of an oil field and theres nothing anywhere near it. Closest town is Tulsa and its about 100 miles away. You have to really want to go there to be there. So anyways Newmans running the Bob Sharp 240Z and thats when he had Budweiser and Pioneer stereo as a sponsor. So I had been friends with Newman for a while because I did one off is drivers schools early on. On that particular day at Hallett, its just one of those tracks where theres nothing else to do but watch oil grow but a bunch of people were there, hell of a crowd and Newman broke a gearbox in his 240Z and I broke something so I was out too. We go to the back of the Bob Sharp transporter and the tailgates halfway down and he had called me over. That guy was a big time prankster and he says “I’ve got a deal for you.. I’m pretty good at this, I doubt you are so lets have a contest. The next girl that comes by I’m going to guess her age and I’m going to guess how much she weighs and then we’ll ask her. The one after that is yours and we’ll ask her.” So I’m a dumbass, so I do it and Newman calls this girl by and says “I think she’s 22 and weights 121lbs” and then he says to her “My buddy here just bet me $100 that I couldn’t guess your age or weight”. So of course she says “Oh my god you’re Paul Newman and yes thats my age and you’re only off by 1 pound". So she goes away and he says “Next one’s yours!” And I’m F*****! So I do the same deal and I’m not even close, Im off by around 6 years and 200lbs, not even close. Hahah so thats how that day started! Now at the end of the day after, I cant even think how many Budweisers but I’m talking cases of Budweisers which were free, we sat on the back of that tailgate drinking all day and at the end of the day he says “Hey I got a deal for you.. I’ll bet you one dollar that I can beat you going around this race track backwards." I said “Do you mean in reverse or driving the track in the wrong direction? He said "in reverse!” so we took these two rental cars that the Pioneer Stereo people had and I’ll never forget they were absolutely ****ty rental cars. They were all white Ford Fairmonts which is about the lowest class of rental car ever made and so we took off in reverse to go around the race track. Because they were so slow and had no power it would hit the rev limiter or run out of gear but it took forever to get back so Newman said “That didn’t work so lets change it and do a race in reverse around pit lane,” So he sets up a little course where you go up pit lane the wrong way, in reverse and at the end of pit lane which is pit lane entry you turn and you go across a grassy berm onto the race track and then you go down the front straight in reverse and then you turn again, across another grassy berm and enter pit out and thats a lap. So Newman says “Alright, we get 3 laps of practice each and then we’re doing a 3 lap race.” Ok no problem! Now at this time everybody thats still at the race track is standing there to watch and that included Marty the track manager who had a Mazda RX-7 that was his own personal car and he decided that was going to play too. So in our 3 practice laps, Newman goes first and his first lap was really good, he absolutely nailed it but the second lap on his turn in across the grassy berm back into pit lane he looses it and he stuffs it in the guardrail really hard backwards. It ended up bending the exhaust pipe around from the back around the tire on the rear and exiting back towards the front and it pinched against the tire so hard that it wouldn’t move anymore. So we had to get a tow truck to tow that out of the way. So in the meantime Marty decides he’s going to show everyone how its done in his RX-7 and he flips the F****** thing! Hahaha, he hits the tire wall and does a one and a half sideways roll and ends up on his roof. So I do mine and I made 2 laps and spun on the 3rd and we decided, well we’ve wrecked two rental cars and totaled the track managers car and we’re down to one Ford Fairmont so off we go for the race. Newman gets first shot, he does 3 solid laps and now I know I need to do 3 solid laps a little faster than he did. So I made the first two perfect but on the third one I got really sideways on the grassy berm and I scrubbed a lot of speed and he ends up beating me. By that time we had to go back to the hotel because it was dark by then and we’re drunker than everything and we’re having a great time so Dan Layton (Now at HPD) knows we’re all too drunk to drive so he takes the Budweiser van and loads Me, Newman, and everyone on the Sharp crew thats left to take us all back to the hotel. Theres 14-15 guys in the van with at least 3 cases of beer and we’re just laughing and drinking beer and just having a great old time, an unbelievable time and we dont make it 1/4 mile and there was a road block and the cops have been waiting on us because somebody had ratted us out, you know? So next thing you know they’ve got Layton up against the van and they’re frisking him and he hadn’t done **** wrong, he hadn’t drank a beer so he’s fine and he’s telling them “Im good to drive”. The one cop wants all of our ID’s and he’s going down the line yelling at us and the other cop is taking all the beer from inside of the van and putting it on top of the cop car. Well as guys were getting cleared to go back in the van after they checked your ID, guys were stealing the beer off the top of the Cop car and bringing them back in the van! (Editors note: Ryan and Dorsey are both laughing uncontrollably while Dorsey is telling this story, as you were) So the cop finally gets to Newman and he put the light in his eyes and he’s got these big blue eyes and he’s staring this cop down. The cop practically melts! Newman hits him with one of his movie lines from I think Deliverance, something like “Are you done using my time up now because theres better things I can be doing” or something like that and the cop melts on the spot and he lets us go! We all go back, nobody gets arrested, we stole about half the beer back and drank it all the way back to the hotel. The next morning I wrote Newman a check for “One Dollar and Not a F***** Cent More” Haha thats EXACTLY what I wrote on it and I signed it. Well he actually cashed it! For a buck! Newman doesn’t do autographs but I kept that one, its still in my scrap book. It was a great time!”
- Jun 11, 2014
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Founding Member
- Jun 11, 2014
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Can't believe this got four pages in and no one posted anything like this.
Shameful
- Jul 24, 2020
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Can't believe this got four pages in and no one posted anything like this.
Shameful
Someone around here should be fired.
- Jun 11, 2014
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Founding Member
What you did there.....I see it ;)
- Jun 11, 2014
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- Jul 27, 2018
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Is she hot? If so, I won't mind.
- Jul 16, 2018
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I hear that she is...unsure about the specifics. No clue if she likes carpeting/drapes or hardwood floors for example.
- Jul 27, 2018
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At my first house that I bought, I cleared the back half of the 1 acre lot with an axe. Talking real lumberjack stuff here. I had the bright idea I would just burn the pines and sweet gums when I got done. I had a pile 20 feet across and 10 feet tall. Tried burning it but nothing happened. Poured a bunch of gas on it figuring to get the green wood burning and it would go. Nothing but a little kindle at the bottom. Took a couple of 5 gallon gas can full and started pouring all over the fire. When the fumes hit, it shot a fire ball 100 feet in the air and I could hear the fire sucking the air out. Caught the can on fire I was holding, and I think I was on fire too. I hit the ground and rolled around in the dirt for what seemed like several minutes because all I could feel was heat and wasn't sure if I was on fire and wasn't going to open my eyes to find out.
My neighbor had been watching me from his kitchen window. Next thing I remember was he was standing over me and told me I could stop rolling around in the dirt because I wasn't on fire.
Wound up hauling the rest of the debris to the road.
My neighbor had been watching me from his kitchen window. Next thing I remember was he was standing over me and told me I could stop rolling around in the dirt because I wasn't on fire.
Wound up hauling the rest of the debris to the road.
