- Aug 28, 2014
- 16,541
- 26,097
Took a short cut this morning.
Should know better.
I got a ticket there 10 years ago.
So it's about half a mile of road but they got a speed trap set up so they pull me over.
Black cop #ABCAB.
Cop tells me I have an outstanding ticket and my license is suspended.
First I've heard of it.
****ing red light camera. Illegal search and seizure if you ask me.
He writes ticket for 15 mph over instead of 14 cuz he's a dick.
Actually says to me "Since you got a recent ticket I'm gonna **** you over more". Or something to that affect.
So I ask where to go first, he says DMV but... my license is suspended so I'm not allowed to drive there.
Okay fine. Wait for him to leave and head for the DMV.
Need to pay off ticket first so head to Court Clerk instead.
Park, then realize I don't have a mask .
Head home for mask.
Walk into DMV with checkbook in hand. They ask for my DL.
Cop took my DL.
They don't take CC or Check without ID.
However they will take cash.
And I'm in the wrong county for the outstanding ticket.
Head for bank to get cash.
Bank branch is closed.
Find an open branch.
Present check for cash to pay ticket to get my DL back.
Bank wants DL...
before they will give me cash...
to pay ticket...
so that I can get my DL.
Joseph Heller would be proud.
I don't have my DL. (see above)
That's okay we can use your ATM card for ID.
My ATM card is expired. (I never use it)
That's okay we can give you a new one.
Go sit in the corner with this dunce cap on and we will call you.
They call me. New lady accepts my passport card as ID.
Gives me temporary card.
Cashier doesn't know what to do with it.
Calls manager over.
They figure it out and give me cash.
Head to Court Clerk in correct county.
She asks for DL
I told you it's suspended.
Civil Servants
Lady is behind a 10 foot barrier with the plexiglass holes that you talk through covered up but keeps giving me schit about my mask not covering my nose.
F you lady. My glasses fog up.
Take my money bytch.
Eventually she pays the fine and reinstates my DL.
But I still don't have a real DL.
Head for DMV. (in the other county).
Take a number and wait.
Finally get called up.
"I need a replacement DL, a cop took it" I says.
"Okay " she says. "Can I see your DL?"
Civil Servants
"What don't you understand?" I think.
"I don't have it, that's why I'm here (you nimrod)".
"Okay answer some questions" She says.
"Have you ever had your license suspended?"
I can tell I'm dealing with a real genius here. No doubt a Biden voter.
Yes, I've had my license suspended. No, I've never been judged crazy (professionally). No, I don't want my organs donated.
Eventually I get my ID and I'm no longer a wanted man in Orange County.
Now I just have to decide what to do about today's ticket.
Should know better.
I got a ticket there 10 years ago.
So it's about half a mile of road but they got a speed trap set up so they pull me over.
Black cop #ABCAB.
Cop tells me I have an outstanding ticket and my license is suspended.
First I've heard of it.
****ing red light camera. Illegal search and seizure if you ask me.
He writes ticket for 15 mph over instead of 14 cuz he's a dick.
Actually says to me "Since you got a recent ticket I'm gonna **** you over more". Or something to that affect.
So I ask where to go first, he says DMV but... my license is suspended so I'm not allowed to drive there.
Okay fine. Wait for him to leave and head for the DMV.
Need to pay off ticket first so head to Court Clerk instead.
Park, then realize I don't have a mask .
Head home for mask.
Walk into DMV with checkbook in hand. They ask for my DL.
Cop took my DL.
They don't take CC or Check without ID.
However they will take cash.
And I'm in the wrong county for the outstanding ticket.
Head for bank to get cash.
Bank branch is closed.
Find an open branch.
Present check for cash to pay ticket to get my DL back.
Bank wants DL...
before they will give me cash...
to pay ticket...
so that I can get my DL.
Joseph Heller would be proud.
I don't have my DL. (see above)
That's okay we can use your ATM card for ID.
My ATM card is expired. (I never use it)
That's okay we can give you a new one.
Go sit in the corner with this dunce cap on and we will call you.
They call me. New lady accepts my passport card as ID.
Gives me temporary card.
Cashier doesn't know what to do with it.
Calls manager over.
They figure it out and give me cash.
Head to Court Clerk in correct county.
She asks for DL
I told you it's suspended.
Civil Servants
Lady is behind a 10 foot barrier with the plexiglass holes that you talk through covered up but keeps giving me schit about my mask not covering my nose.
F you lady. My glasses fog up.
Take my money bytch.
Eventually she pays the fine and reinstates my DL.
But I still don't have a real DL.
Head for DMV. (in the other county).
Take a number and wait.
Finally get called up.
"I need a replacement DL, a cop took it" I says.
"Okay " she says. "Can I see your DL?"
Civil Servants
"What don't you understand?" I think.
"I don't have it, that's why I'm here (you nimrod)".
"Okay answer some questions" She says.
"Have you ever had your license suspended?"
I can tell I'm dealing with a real genius here. No doubt a Biden voter.
Yes, I've had my license suspended. No, I've never been judged crazy (professionally). No, I don't want my organs donated.
Eventually I get my ID and I'm no longer a wanted man in Orange County.
Now I just have to decide what to do about today's ticket.