Gerry Hamilton
Jul 29, 2011
I'm a fan of Spurrierisms...
Spurrierisms:
Spurrier brought his team back out onto North Carolina turf to take a picture of the scoreboard with his gloating Duke Blue Devils in the foreground. Mack Brown took it to the media saying that Spurrier had shown a real lack of class by doing that on someone else’s home field. Spurrier’s response when asked, “Why? I’ve got a better record on that field than he does”.
It’s not quite stand-up comedy. But the Spurrier way is to turn an ordinary question into an unexpected quip -- often on a subject unrelated to the original question.
ON CLEMSON: When asked about Kentucky, a rival in the SEC Eastern Division: “We thought we had done something good beating Clemson. And then Kentucky beat ‘em, and Clemson was a good team. At one point in the year they were a dang good team. I don’t know exactly what happened to them.”
ON FORMER NBA REFEREE FIXING GAMES: “I’ve probably been accused of saying something like that a couple of times. We’ll all have to be careful now.
ON THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HIMSELF AND NICK SABAN I didn't go to Alabama, I came to South Carolina, where they had never won a division or the SEC. ... He got a lot more money than I got, too.
ON MONITORING PLAYERS “Football players are busy (with) study halls and tutoring. Well, anyway, at South Carolina they are. I don’t know about all these other schools.”
After losing to Vandy in 07 with an offensive line that allowed 7 sacks and 5 false starts, Spurrier was asked what he was going to do now. "Well, we can't trade 'em. So I guess we have to coach 'em."
During the 2008 SEC Media days Spurrier was asked how he felt about coming up short on linebackers he had gone after: "It's sort a like going after girls. You do the best you can. You know that. (pointing at the journalists) You'd be surprised. Some of these guys actually have good-looking' wives."
While playing for the hapless 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Spurrier recalls a speech from Coach McKay:
"He was emphasizing that games were lost in the trenches by failing to block and tackle on the front lines. And as he was talking he noticed a lineman asleep in the back. He called his name, woke him up and asked, 'Where are most games lost?' And the lineman says, 'Right here in Tampa, sir!'"
Story from an airport passenger: “Spurrier was in town for the anniversary of his ACC championship at Duke and after the game he came straight to the airport. He ended up taking the bar stool next to me, ordered a beer and asked "What’s happened so far today?" At this point, my brain registered that the “Visored One” himself was trying to catch up on the scores, so we gave him a quick rundown. Auburn vs. Alabama was the main game on TV at the moment, and we spent the next two hours listening to him break down each of the plays on a level that I had never even considered. I learned more about football in that two hour period than I have in any other setting. Spurrier was basically what you'd expect - down to earth, friendly, and funny as hell. He signed some random autographs for people and was poking fun at the waitress for asking for his ID to drink. All in all, one of the more entertaining brushes with fame one can have. He refused to talk about where he was headed next, though at that point it was pretty obvious (South Carolina).”
When columnist Ron Morris of The State asked Spurrier if he had been asked for his input on an investigation, Spurrier let it loose, saying that he wasn't an investigator and probably would never be one. "I'm also not going to be at a fraternity house breaking up fights either.”
After handing Florida a loss in his first year at South Carolina: "They don't own our asses anymore," said Spurrier after the Crow Heard Around the World, South Carolina's 30-22 upset of UF. In the post game press conference, UF coach Urban Meyer declined to make an opening statement for the first time all season.
During the 07 loss to South Carolina, Georgia fans booed their players, then Spurrier as he was heading into the tunnel at halftime. He acknowledged them by waving. He later commented, “I’m getting an ovation. I didn’t realize I was that important to them.” Georgia’s QB, Stafford was buried in the third quarter on a fourth-and-2 play, a delayed play-action in which he played out the fake too long and got smacked by a blitzing Gamecock. Spurrier: “They tried that sleeper play. They tried that two years ago. It was funny. I think they might file that play.”
South Carolina had lost its top seven tacklers from 2005’s team, led by early NFL entrant Ko Simpson, who had 103 stops from his safety position. "Hopefully our safeties aren’t making all the tackles, " Spurrier said "I’m not sure our linebackers and linemen knew they were eligible to tackle."
In 1966, the Gators were in a tight game with Auburn. In the final minutes, Spurrier led the offense down the field into position for a field goal to win the game. Spurrier - a quarterback, not a kicker - told coach Ray Graves that he would kick the 40-yard field goal himself. Unbelievably, Spurrier's arrogance paid off and he nailed the game-winning kick against the Tigers.
Asked to comment on the game: "The fans were wonderful, outstanding. I know they went a long time without a beer, but I think they enjoyed it.", Steve Spurrier
In 05 Florida had been pulling for Auburn to beat Georgia to reach the SEC Championship, but after South Carolina beat Florida, Spurrier said “The headline in the Florida paper should read, ’Guess who's pulling for Auburn now’.” (After beating Florida, an Auburn win over Georgia meant South Carolina was mathematically alive for the SEC East title. If the Gators had won they would have gone to Atlanta.)
After a blowout win over Kentucky in 1996: "These sort of games don't prove very much. All it proves is we're better then Kentucky."
When asked if he was surprised at a dismal crowd at Vanderbilt in 1998: "Surprised? It's Vandy. There must have been something good on TV."
When asked by reporters why he went for a last second passing touchdown in Athens against Georgia while the Gators had a huge lead: "Because no visiting team has ever scored 50 points in this stadium and we wanted to be the first."
After Florida blew out LSU in 1996 after only scoring only 28 points against the Tigers in 1995 and knowing that LSU's defensive coordinator sent the 1995 game tape to the Nebraska Cornhuskers before the Fiesta Bowl disaster the year earlier: "Hopefully LSU's defensive coordinator won't be giving clinics on stopping the Gators next year."
After Kentucky tried several onside kicks in Florida's 1997 win: "If I had a defense like Hal Mumme has, I would be trying them on every kickoff."
Spurrier quote on the media: "They’re like poison. You swallow the stuff and it'll kill you."
On why so many coaches move around in the SEC: “My dad was a preacher. He never lasted 10, 12 years anywhere. So every few years we’d move, guess they'd already heard all of his sermons."
On Tennessee's 1998 success: "If you play close games, you're not going to win them all. Miracles will not continue forever. Somebody asked me if Tennessee could go 13-0 again and I said, 'If some miracles keep happening for them, sure.' But you can't rely on miracles."
When asked about how he felt being in "Big Orange" country by Tennessee reporters, Spurrier replied: "I thought this was Vanderbilt country."
After the 1996 game against Arkansas when Florida won 47-7, when jogging off the field a angry Arkansas fan shouted, "Run it up some more! You've go no class Spurrier!" Spurrier shouted back: "We love it when you accuse us of that."
At halftime Spurrier was asked if the new Tenn. Stadium was the loudest place he had ever played in. He said, "It was really loud, possibly louder than the swamp, then the game started.”
Gator QB Doug Johnson threw 5 TD's one game (in a blowout) and then he threw an interception in the 3rd Quarter. The game wasn't in doubt, so we all thought, no bid deal. However, when he came off the field Spurrier grabbed Doug and said apologetically. "I'm sorry Doug, it's my fault.... I recruited you."
Coach Spurrier, was asked in 1993 why he wouldn't play Notre Dame. "Well," he replied, "I've been beaten by the Father and the Son, and I'm not taking any chances on the Holy Ghost!"
At a South Carolina alumni meeting responded to a question of "Coach, how did we beat Tennessee this year?" with "The same way Vanderbilt did."
Questioning perceived late hits by Florida State Seminoles defenders on his quarterback. “Danny Wuerffel is a New Testament guy. You slap him upside the helmet, and he'll turn the other cheek.... I'm a little more Old Testament. If you spear our guy in the ear hole, I think we're supposed to be able to spear your guy in the ear hole."
On Georgia's recruiting after a 45-13 win in 1991 over the Bulldogs: "Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don't understand that. What happens to them?"
A fat sloppy young reporter approached Spurrier after a practice and told him “My mother dated you way back when.”
Not knowing who the boy was, Spurrier stepped back and looked at the boy, then stated.
"I didn't go out with your momma."
When asked if his Florida team would beat Georgia one year, he responded with the question, "is Ray Goff still the head coach there?"
When Coach Spurrier was asked to comment on a streaker who ran onto the field. "In my experience I've learned women are better streakers."
Questioned the abilities of Head Coach Phillip Fulmer of Tennessee "You can't spell Citrus without UT" (In reference to the Citrus Bowl being the designated bowl for the second-choice team from the SEC).
Poked fun at a fire that burned 20 books at an Auburn University football dorm, saying "But the real tragedy was that fifteen hadn't been colored yet!"
"This is our annual team picture." -- Spurrier, talking to a photographer as his team posed in the Georgia Dome in Dec 95 after winning the third of four consecutive SEC championships.
"Their pass defense was No. 1 in the nation coming in, but it won't be going out." -- Spurrier, after handing Mississippi State a 52-0 loss.
"I'm not saying anybody broke any rules; I'm just saying there was a feeling of, well, those kids are driving awfully nice cars. How's it happen?" -- Steve Spurrier, in a 1995 Sports Illustrated article, one year after telling boosters that FSU stood for "Free Shoes University."
A few years ago, after a dreadful Florida scrimmage, Steve Spurrier picked up the phone and called Gators beat reporter Chris Harry at home. Harry and his wife were out, but the baby-sitter answered.
Spurrier: "Chris Harry there?"
Baby-sitter: "No. Can I take a message?"
Spurrier: "Nah, that's okay."
Baby-sitter: "Is this Coach Spurrier?"
Spurrier: "Who's this?"
Baby-sitter: "This is Christine. I'm Jeff Mitchell's girlfriend." (Mitchell was on the Gators Offensive Line.)
Spurrier: "Jeff Mitchell's girlfriend? Jeff Mitchell jumped offside today!"
On Sept. 2, 2000. Florida was set to face off against the hapless Ball State Cardinals. Ball State entered the game riding a 17-game losing streak. This was a program so desperate for talent it once recruited Jason Whitlock. First play of the game Spurrier called an onside kick. Yet it’s hard to get upset about that call, because in a profession filled with frauds and hypocrites, Spurrier never pretended to be something he wasn’t.
As if redemption against the FSU team who gave Danny Wuerffel a boot party in their only loss of the season wasn’t enough…early in the fourth quarter, with Florida up by 18 points, Florida busts a huge hole on a shotgun trap, springing Terry Jackson for a TD and extending the lead to 25 against the vaunted jailhouse D of FSU. The camera goes to Football’s Lucifer on the sidelines, who is smiling and pin wheeling his pointed hand that on the spot determined the international gesture for “run it up
On the BCS: "You know what? Why don't we use the BCS to determine who wins the (SEC) East and West Divisions and then play the championship game?"
Former Duke QB said that in a practice at Duke, Spurrier had him practicing a certain elaborate route that QB Brown simply could not hit on time. “I don’t think it’s working, coach.” Spurrier went under center and proceeded to hit the throw several times in a row. Brown stood dumbfounded. Spurrier threw the last ball, turned to Brown and announced, “I must be a better quarterback than you.”
Louisville Courier-Journal columnist Pat Forde says of the scoreboard-spinning Spurrier: "Rang up 73 on Bill Curry, who once chose not to retain Spurrier as an assistant at Georgia Tech. Rang up 50+ three times on Hal Mumme, for being more interested in big stats than wins.
Winging three birds with one insult, Spurrier once said, "Half our players don't know who coaches Georgia, Tennessee or Vanderbilt."