- Sep 8, 2014
- 984
- 1,086
No, I didn't go noodling with some rednecks, I mentioned a story in the chat box the other day about a former co-worker of mine that got absolutely destroyed by a cat fishing story. I don't know every detail, just what he was willing to say publicly at work about what was going on in his life. ALL of this is stuff he told people, I'm not making up or embellishing any of it. I don't remember the exact time line as this was all a few years ago but I'll do my best. Here it goes.
"Mike" is a mid-30's total douche most of the time, he's basically a cry baby about a lot of things, a dish it out but can't take it kind of guy. He's a meets standards employee not an exceed expectations for sure. Probably 5'7", 170 skinny but somehow has a beer/eats nothing but junk food gut. Going bald on top but longish hair, glasses, pale white never outside skin. Divorced.
About 2 years after he divorced, no one at work has heard anything about a potential prospect other than the occasional date, with no follow up afterward. One day he's walking in like hot ****, and proceeds to tell a lot of people that an old flame reached out to him. Which is strange because he's a loner and only has a few friends at work. The old flame was a former LARP/dungeons & Dragons/ nerd game chick he met doing that. Her name was Bella and it had been since before his marriage that he had heard from her, 10 years or so. Everyone is congratulating him and asking about her and he's kind of vague about her looks and career but said "she's loaded" more than a few times.
Some time goes by and I start hearing some stuff from Mike that is just kind of too good to be true. Bella had quite a few careers that just didn't seem possible. Her main job was a lawyer, she was licensed in multiple states, one being Tennessee (where she lived in a multimillion dollar log cabin) and one being Florida where she lived in the Ocala area. She was apparently a recently added partner also who did some freelance type work for large corporations overseas. Bella was also either a part time police K9 handler or a past handler, I forget the specifics of that. Everyone at work thought this was all a little questionable so we did some googling and found zero information on this ultra successful lawyer, former police K9 handler. The timeline for someone in their mid-30's to have that much accomplished at that age seemed a bit out of reach. No one could bare to call him on it just because he was actually happy and not being a major douche.
The first one on one conversation Mike and I had about her was him spontaneously showing me a picture of a '67 Chevelle. Pristine, auction quality 6 coats of wax Chevelle. "Hey man check it out, this is what I'm gunna be driving in a few weeks" he says. I'm like sweet dude, where'd you buy that thing from? And why? Mike's current vehicle is an early 2000 Nissan Sentra. "Oh, I didn't buy it, this is my girlfriend Bella's. She's got this, an older Camaro, and some other cars. Her dad restored them, they're just sitting in storage and Bella said they need to be driven." I'm like wow man that's awesome, I've always loved those cars. He was just kind of showing off about the whole thing, came off as a douche. I didn't really believe him, the pictures seemed kind of professionally done, lighting, the whole nine yards. If he shows up driving a muscle car, sweet, good for him I won't hold my breath. Needless to say he never did.
The first major incident I remember is that Bella is in London working a court case. Her ex-husband was after her, he was a special forces sniper - still on active duty- that had a history of threatening her. Well apparently he was after her in London, threatened to kill her the whole deal. She gets a 6 man security detail and is quarantined in her hotel and is forced to miss a planned meetup with Mike when she was supposed to be coming home, because soon after she got home she was leaving for a couple of week cruise. Everyone at work is asking why is she not getting the embassy involved or reaching out to the military to get them involved. "she doesn't want to ruin his career" is his answer. Yes, those words came out of his mouth. This is all during a weekend that we work, which is Friday Saturday and Sunday. Well, I either Sunday or our day off Monday my wife and I are catching up on DVR shows and watch criminal minds. By god the criminal minds is a damn military sniper with a vengeance for ex-girlfriends or something to that extent. At this point I've lost it and refuse to believe another word he says about her. If anything my goal is to fuel the fire as much as I can because I really can't stand the guy.
He was never really clear on the eventual outcomes of these events. Just "she got it handled" everything turned out ok type stuff.
So we get back to work and next thing I hear is Bella is in an Italian hospital. I'm like wtf? How did that happen. Apparently while on her cruise, she falls off the boat and hits her head. In a coma for a couple days, during which Mike is "talking to Bella's friend using Bella's account". Mike is freaking TORE up about this, isn't sleeping, coming to work stank from not showering. Bella finally wakes up and first thing she wants to do is talk to Mike. (Even at this point no one at work is completely sure he has communicated with her over anything but text/email.) Mike is so relieved he said he cried himself to sleep! Yes, told people he cried himself to sleep. A few days go by and Mike is frustrated that the Italian doctors won't release Bella. Bella is perfectly fine and calls in a few of her doctor pals to try to convince the Italian doctors to release her. Just before releasing her they do one final checkup on her and find she has some kind of serious heart condition, she needs heart surgery for whatever condition she has, again, very vague. At this point everyone but a few are just blowing off all of his stories, we really didn't know if he was making the whole thing up or someone was royally screwing with him.
Her doctor pals fly her (by private jet, non-stop from Italy) to a heart surgeon in south Florida. She died on the plane but her friends revived her. At this point he is itching to get down to see her. While running tests after her surgery, docs find that when Bella is talking to Mike, Bella's heart goes in to overdrive and that's not good for a newly operated heart, they need to cut communicators for a while, Bella's sister will liaison and provide updates for a few weeks while Bella recovers. Mike goes quiet for a little bit.
This is just the tip of the ice berg, I'll add posts as I get time. Stay tuned. I swear non of this is made up.
Sent from my AR-15 at 3000 feet per second.
"Mike" is a mid-30's total douche most of the time, he's basically a cry baby about a lot of things, a dish it out but can't take it kind of guy. He's a meets standards employee not an exceed expectations for sure. Probably 5'7", 170 skinny but somehow has a beer/eats nothing but junk food gut. Going bald on top but longish hair, glasses, pale white never outside skin. Divorced.
About 2 years after he divorced, no one at work has heard anything about a potential prospect other than the occasional date, with no follow up afterward. One day he's walking in like hot ****, and proceeds to tell a lot of people that an old flame reached out to him. Which is strange because he's a loner and only has a few friends at work. The old flame was a former LARP/dungeons & Dragons/ nerd game chick he met doing that. Her name was Bella and it had been since before his marriage that he had heard from her, 10 years or so. Everyone is congratulating him and asking about her and he's kind of vague about her looks and career but said "she's loaded" more than a few times.
Some time goes by and I start hearing some stuff from Mike that is just kind of too good to be true. Bella had quite a few careers that just didn't seem possible. Her main job was a lawyer, she was licensed in multiple states, one being Tennessee (where she lived in a multimillion dollar log cabin) and one being Florida where she lived in the Ocala area. She was apparently a recently added partner also who did some freelance type work for large corporations overseas. Bella was also either a part time police K9 handler or a past handler, I forget the specifics of that. Everyone at work thought this was all a little questionable so we did some googling and found zero information on this ultra successful lawyer, former police K9 handler. The timeline for someone in their mid-30's to have that much accomplished at that age seemed a bit out of reach. No one could bare to call him on it just because he was actually happy and not being a major douche.
The first one on one conversation Mike and I had about her was him spontaneously showing me a picture of a '67 Chevelle. Pristine, auction quality 6 coats of wax Chevelle. "Hey man check it out, this is what I'm gunna be driving in a few weeks" he says. I'm like sweet dude, where'd you buy that thing from? And why? Mike's current vehicle is an early 2000 Nissan Sentra. "Oh, I didn't buy it, this is my girlfriend Bella's. She's got this, an older Camaro, and some other cars. Her dad restored them, they're just sitting in storage and Bella said they need to be driven." I'm like wow man that's awesome, I've always loved those cars. He was just kind of showing off about the whole thing, came off as a douche. I didn't really believe him, the pictures seemed kind of professionally done, lighting, the whole nine yards. If he shows up driving a muscle car, sweet, good for him I won't hold my breath. Needless to say he never did.
The first major incident I remember is that Bella is in London working a court case. Her ex-husband was after her, he was a special forces sniper - still on active duty- that had a history of threatening her. Well apparently he was after her in London, threatened to kill her the whole deal. She gets a 6 man security detail and is quarantined in her hotel and is forced to miss a planned meetup with Mike when she was supposed to be coming home, because soon after she got home she was leaving for a couple of week cruise. Everyone at work is asking why is she not getting the embassy involved or reaching out to the military to get them involved. "she doesn't want to ruin his career" is his answer. Yes, those words came out of his mouth. This is all during a weekend that we work, which is Friday Saturday and Sunday. Well, I either Sunday or our day off Monday my wife and I are catching up on DVR shows and watch criminal minds. By god the criminal minds is a damn military sniper with a vengeance for ex-girlfriends or something to that extent. At this point I've lost it and refuse to believe another word he says about her. If anything my goal is to fuel the fire as much as I can because I really can't stand the guy.
He was never really clear on the eventual outcomes of these events. Just "she got it handled" everything turned out ok type stuff.
So we get back to work and next thing I hear is Bella is in an Italian hospital. I'm like wtf? How did that happen. Apparently while on her cruise, she falls off the boat and hits her head. In a coma for a couple days, during which Mike is "talking to Bella's friend using Bella's account". Mike is freaking TORE up about this, isn't sleeping, coming to work stank from not showering. Bella finally wakes up and first thing she wants to do is talk to Mike. (Even at this point no one at work is completely sure he has communicated with her over anything but text/email.) Mike is so relieved he said he cried himself to sleep! Yes, told people he cried himself to sleep. A few days go by and Mike is frustrated that the Italian doctors won't release Bella. Bella is perfectly fine and calls in a few of her doctor pals to try to convince the Italian doctors to release her. Just before releasing her they do one final checkup on her and find she has some kind of serious heart condition, she needs heart surgery for whatever condition she has, again, very vague. At this point everyone but a few are just blowing off all of his stories, we really didn't know if he was making the whole thing up or someone was royally screwing with him.
Her doctor pals fly her (by private jet, non-stop from Italy) to a heart surgeon in south Florida. She died on the plane but her friends revived her. At this point he is itching to get down to see her. While running tests after her surgery, docs find that when Bella is talking to Mike, Bella's heart goes in to overdrive and that's not good for a newly operated heart, they need to cut communicators for a while, Bella's sister will liaison and provide updates for a few weeks while Bella recovers. Mike goes quiet for a little bit.
This is just the tip of the ice berg, I'll add posts as I get time. Stay tuned. I swear non of this is made up.
Sent from my AR-15 at 3000 feet per second.
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