Engaging an idiot or idiots

[PatDooleySucks]

So I basically live across the St. John's from the Gator Bowl. Today (finally) the Taxslayer bowl will be played. I'm hoping the tennessee fans flee from Jacksonville like GMs from drafting Jameis. They've been plaguing this city for days. Anyway. I've always considered Tennessee fans the dumbest in the SEC. I've gotten close to plenty at Gator games before, but talking to them on neutral ground has been an experience. I see them at bars/restaurants around San Marco. My first physical observation is that they are all very overweight. I won't say obese for them all, but they are all overweight. It's especially troubling in the children. The wives are disgusting and have the "just glad to be alive" look. My second physical observation is that they all kind of look the same if that makes sense. We joke about them being inbred, but god. I think it's true. They all kind of have these neck rolls and mushy faces. Engaging them is kind of fun. You start friendly, like "hope you teach those boys from the big 10 a lesson." Then you kind of start messing with them. If there are more than two male specimens, the easiest way to start excitement is bringing up whether Fulmer should have been fired. It just starts an argument before your eyes. I've had two of the fat wives literally say "here we go again." As you start to lead them on, you bring up the decade of dominance. What's fun about this is that some of the kids they've pulled from their special schools have not been alive when tennessee has beaten the Gators. Next up is Lane Kiffen. He really, really agitates them. Still ... They can't comprehend him leaving tennessee for USC. Lastly is Peyton. Oh Peyton. First interesting thing about Peyton is that I've met two kids named after him. Who and the hell would name their kid after a loser? Second, these kids don't know anything about him. They just preach what their parents have told them. Anyway, I ask these morons why they like him so much. They can only speak vaguely... Was it his ONE SEC championship? Was it his four loses to the Gators? These guys love Peyton but when you put their feet to the coals they can't explain why. My favorite move is to point out how he lost to Spurrier (again) when they were both in the NFL. Anyway, Jacksonville is littered with enough garbage. At least this garbage will leave town. We can hate all our rivals, but I guarantee the intellect of tennessee fans is the worst of anybody we play.

 

[KCgator]

I've got the meat sweats...

 

[Gator87]

Hard to imagine they would be overweight, it's tough to eat when you only have three teeth.

 

[GatorJ]

I have a feeling this thread is going to be epic

 

[WobbleGator]

Best article ever written by Dooley.

 

[GatorSkin]

I'd like to nominate this for post of the year.

 

[biggator6]

Best article ever written by Dooley.

It's missing a top 10 list and a playlist mixed with old and crappy and newish and hipster music.

 

[WobbleGator]

It's missing a top 10 list and a playlist mixed with old and crappy and newish and hipster music.

Which is one of the reasons it is his best article ever.

 

[QueenCityGator]

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[Gator87]

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[AlexDaGator]

Alex.

 

[Alvin York]

So I basically live across the St. John's from the Gator Bowl. Today (finally) the Taxslayer bowl will be played. I'm hoping the tennessee fans flee from Jacksonville like GMs from drafting Jameis. They've been plaguing this city for days. Anyway. I've always considered Tennessee fans the dumbest in the SEC. I've gotten close to plenty at Gator games before, but talking to them on neutral ground has been an experience. I see them at bars/restaurants around San Marco. My first physical observation is that they are all very overweight. I won't say obese for them all, but they are all overweight. It's especially troubling in the children. The wives are disgusting and have the "just glad to be alive" look. My second physical observation is that they all kind of look the same if that makes sense. We joke about them being inbred, but god. I think it's true. They all kind of have these neck rolls and mushy faces. Engaging them is kind of fun. You start friendly, like "hope you teach those boys from the big 10 a lesson." Then you kind of start messing with them. If there are more than two male specimens, the easiest way to start excitement is bringing up whether Fulmer should have been fired. It just starts an argument before your eyes. I've had two of the fat wives literally say "here we go again." As you start to lead them on, you bring up the decade of dominance. What's fun about this is that some of the kids they've pulled from their special schools have not been alive when tennessee has beaten the Gators. Next up is Lane Kiffen. He really, really agitates them. Still ... They can't comprehend him leaving tennessee for USC. Lastly is Peyton. Oh Peyton. First interesting thing about Peyton is that I've met two kids named after him. Who and the hell would name their kid after a loser? Second, these kids don't know anything about him. They just preach what their parents have told them. Anyway, I ask these morons why they like him so much. They can only speak vaguely... Was it his ONE SEC championship? Was it his four loses to the Gators? These guys love Peyton but when you put their feet to the coals they can't explain why. My favorite move is to point out how he lost to Spurrier (again) when they were both in the NFL. Anyway, Jacksonville is littered with enough garbage. At least this garbage will leave town. We can hate all our rivals, but I guarantee the intellect of tennessee fans is the worst of anybody we play.

Well we can't all be standard bearers of intelligence, culture and "La Dolce Vita" like these folks from the sunshine state of Florida. it took centuries of evolving education, social reform and political genius to produce this proud flower of American civilization.

Thank you, Florida.

 

[gardnerwebbgator]

So I basically live across the St. John's from the Gator Bowl. Today (finally) the Taxslayer bowl will be played. I'm hoping the tennessee fans flee from Jacksonville like GMs from drafting Jameis. They've been plaguing this city for days. Anyway. I've always considered Tennessee fans the dumbest in the SEC. I've gotten close to plenty at Gator games before, but talking to them on neutral ground has been an experience. I see them at bars/restaurants around San Marco. My first physical observation is that they are all very overweight. I won't say obese for them all, but they are all overweight. It's especially troubling in the children. The wives are disgusting and have the "just glad to be alive" look. My second physical observation is that they all kind of look the same if that makes sense. We joke about them being inbred, but god. I think it's true. They all kind of have these neck rolls and mushy faces. Engaging them is kind of fun. You start friendly, like "hope you teach those boys from the big 10 a lesson." Then you kind of start messing with them. If there are more than two male specimens, the easiest way to start excitement is bringing up whether Fulmer should have been fired. It just starts an argument before your eyes. I've had two of the fat wives literally say "here we go again." As you start to lead them on, you bring up the decade of dominance. What's fun about this is that some of the kids they've pulled from their special schools have not been alive when tennessee has beaten the Gators. Next up is Lane Kiffen. He really, really agitates them. Still ... They can't comprehend him leaving tennessee for USC. Lastly is Peyton. Oh Peyton. First interesting thing about Peyton is that I've met two kids named after him. Who and the hell would name their kid after a loser? Second, these kids don't know anything about him. They just preach what their parents have told them. Anyway, I ask these morons why they like him so much. They can only speak vaguely... Was it his ONE SEC championship? Was it his four loses to the Gators? These guys love Peyton but when you put their feet to the coals they can't explain why. My favorite move is to point out how he lost to Spurrier (again) when they were both in the NFL. Anyway, Jacksonville is littered with enough garbage. At least this garbage will leave town. We can hate all our rivals, but I guarantee the intellect of tennessee fans is the worst of anybody we play.

Excellent post, but two things:

(1) You obviously haven't dealt with too many stupid UGA fans, still hanging on to Herschel and Belue/Scott from 34 years ago, coming up into your face and barking, with breath that likely smells similar to the bunghole of a cat or monkey.

(2) Like I said, good post, but a hint....the paragraph is a beautiful invention.

 

[PatDooleySucks]

Excellent post, but two things:

(1) You obviously haven't dealt with too many stupid UGA fans, still hanging on to Herschel and Belue/Scott from 34 years ago, coming up into your face and barking, with breath that likely smells similar to the bunghole of a cat or monkey.

(2) Like I said, good post, but a hint....the paragraph is a beautiful invention.

Good point on (2)

I've dealt with (1) a lot. I've been going to UF/uga games half my life. I'd say there's a difference between being dumb/uneducated and delusional. To me, georgia fans are delusional.