Trip To The Big Top - A Cautionary Tale

[Durty South Swamp]

IF I had a Semenhole friend, I sure as hell wouldn't admit it. As always, Nuck All Foles.

I have 3 semi freinds, all very good dudes, and all guys ive either deployed with or have been through some level of extensive training with. 2 of them are total homers when it comes to the holes but still great dudes who would willingly give their life up in defense of the nation, the other is a very realistic guy and strangely enough, pulls for Florida unless they play the semi's. Hes the guy I was with, and I'll say again, one of the best dudes and Soldiers Ive ever been around. Some things are more important than college kids playing a game, my freind.

 

[Gatordiddy]

I have 3 semi freinds, all very good dudes, and all guys ive either deployed with or have been through some level of extensive training with. 2 of them are total homers when it comes to the holes but still great dudes who would willingly give their life up in defense of the nation, the other is a very realistic guy and strangely enough, pulls for Florida unless they play the semi's. Hes the guy I was with, and I'll say again, one of the best dudes and Soldiers Ive ever been around. Some things are more important than college kids playing a game, my freind.

Growing up there I had no choice but to hang with Seminoles.
Unlike my brothers I NEVER wore any Seminole related clothing since all my stuff was orange and blue (or black and gold).

They really aren't bad on an individual basis overall but the problem is this:
There is nothing else going on in Tallahassee so Seminole football becomes an obsession/religion.
You can thank 'St. Bowden' for that.
And there is no greater joy than going to their stadium, kicking their ass and mingling around afterwards - just drinking in the sadness.
Their tears are my joy.

 

[Durty South Swamp]

Their tears are my joy

 

[AlexDaGator]

I've only been in that ****hole one time, in 1990, where, on the second play from scrimmage, Monty Grow was located somewhere near Perry and not on the field. A nightmare, and the last time I'll ever set foot in that cesspool.

I was there for that one too. Seated in the UF student section which was on wooden bleachers (I you not) in the endzone. We were jumping up and down, rowdy as student sections are wont to be, and that damn thing was bowing a full foot (6 inches down and 6 inches up). I thought the damn thing was going to snap and we would fall all the way down to the ground below.

Funny story about that game...back in 1990 there was a popular T-shirt that showed a stick figure cartoon. On the front it read "See Dick drink, see Dick drive, see Dick die" and on the back it read "Don't be a Dick".

Some Gators did a riff on that shirt with orange and blue stick figures. "See Dick throw the ball, see Dick catch the ball, see Dick score many, many touchdowns" on the back it said "FSU Seminoles have no Dicks." Of course the stick figure cartoons were the best part with the stick figure 'Nole covering his crotch while the stick figure Gator guy and girl pointed and laughed.

So that's what I wore to the game. And unlike Durty, I didn't have a crew of meatheads to back me up. In fact, I never caught up with my friend who lived in Tallahassee that I was supposed to go to the game with and then crash at his place.

(uh, yeah, this was before everybody had a cell phone)

Game was about to start. I saw some lights on in one of the dorms. Walked in, buncha kids hanging out. I asked them if I could leave my stuff in their room till after the game (still thinking I was going to catch up with my buddy). They said sure so I did and went to the game alone.

After we lost the game, I was headed back to those dorms when (not surprisingly) some drunk 'Noles started with me about the shirt. I can't really blame them. Wearing that shirt was just asking for trouble. Not the classiest thing I ever did (not the least classy thing either, but those roadtrip stories are for another day).

Drunk 'Nole redneck yells at me something about FSU having more Dicks. Being a smartass teenager, I promptly agreed with him "Yeah, you guys definitely had more Dicks on the field and more Dicks in the stands too." He didn't appreciate that I was agreeing with him. Maybe the way I spat out the word "Dicks"? Anyway. Just as it was about to get ugly, a couple of young FSU coeds rush up. One puts here arm around my shoulder and directs me away from the angry drunks while her friend tells them to cool it (I honestly believe there was a guardian angel looking out for me because I have miraculously avoided many well deserved ass beatings by what can only be described as divine intervention).

We go back to the dorm. Never caught up with my buddy so I have no place to spend the night, not even a car (I bummed a ride up with some other kids). The students let me stay in the dorm. I messed around with one of the girls which softened the loss and they made me french toast for breakfast the next morning.

I wish I still had that shirt. Not to wear, just as a memento.

Alex.

 

[Durty South Swamp]

awesome story alex, nothing like slamming a nole coed and having her make you pancakes in the morning!

 

[LagoonGator68]

I was there for that one too. Seated in the UF student section which was on wooden bleachers (I you not) in the endzone. We were jumping up and down, rowdy as student sections are wont to be, and that damn thing was bowing a full foot (6 inches down and 6 inches up). I thought the damn thing was going to snap and we would fall all the way down to the ground below.

Funny story about that game...back in 1990 there was a popular T-shirt that showed a stick figure cartoon. On the front it read "See Dick drink, see Dick drive, see Dick die" and on the back it read "Don't be a Dick".

Some Gators did a riff on that shirt with orange and blue stick figures. "See Dick throw the ball, see Dick catch the ball, see Dick score many, many touchdowns" on the back it said "FSU Seminoles have no Dicks." Of course the stick figure cartoons were the best part with the stick figure 'Nole covering his crotch while the stick figure Gator guy and girl pointed and laughed.

So that's what I wore to the game. And unlike Durty, I didn't have a crew of meatheads to back me up. In fact, I never caught up with my friend who lived in Tallahassee that I was supposed to go to the game with and then crash at his place.

(uh, yeah, this was before everybody had a cell phone)

Game was about to start. I saw some lights on in one of the dorms. Walked in, buncha kids hanging out. I asked them if I could leave my stuff in their room till after the game (still thinking I was going to catch up with my buddy). They said sure so I did and went to the game alone.

After we lost the game, I was headed back to those dorms when (not surprisingly) some drunk 'Noles started with me about the shirt. I can't really blame them. Wearing that shirt was just asking for trouble. Not the classiest thing I ever did (not the least classy thing either, but those roadtrip stories are for another day).

Drunk 'Nole redneck yells at me something about FSU having more Dicks. Being a smartass teenager, I promptly agreed with him "Yeah, you guys definitely had more Dicks on the field and more Dicks in the stands too." He didn't appreciate that I was agreeing with him. Maybe the way I spat out the word "Dicks"? Anyway. Just as it was about to get ugly, a couple of young FSU coeds rush up. One puts here arm around my shoulder and directs me away from the angry drunks while her friend tells them to cool it (I honestly believe there was a guardian angel looking out for me because I have miraculously avoided many well deserved ass beatings by what can only be described as divine intervention).

We go back to the dorm. Never caught up with my buddy so I have no place to spend the night, not even a car (I bummed a ride up with some other kids). The students let me stay in the dorm. I messed around with one of the girls which softened the loss and they made me french toast for breakfast the next morning.

I wish I still had that shirt. Not to wear, just as a memento.

Alex.

Sweet. Poetic license?

 

[AlexDaGator]

awesome story alex, nothing like slamming a nole coed and having her make you pancakes in the morning!

I wish I had closed the deal but I don't want to lie. We were in a dorm room full of people. I only got to 3rd base.

Alex.

 

[NavetG8r]

I wish I had closed the deal but I don't want to lie. We were in a dorm room full of people. I only got to 3rd base.

Alex.

 

[Swamp Donkey]

Some things are more important than college kids playing a game, my freind.

Nuck ALL Foles, even the ones who showed hospitality to Alex.

 

[GatorTAG]

Time for a new phone.

If my phone keeps me from reading 14 paragraph posts on a sports forum then it's priceless to me. Those are valuable minutes of your life you will never get back.

 

[gardnerwebbgator]

No, commend the man. He stopped before he caught something permanent.

 

[NVGator]

I was there for that one too. Seated in the UF student section which was on wooden bleachers (I you not) in the endzone. We were jumping up and down, rowdy as student sections are wont to be, and that damn thing was bowing a full foot (6 inches down and 6 inches up). I thought the damn thing was going to snap and we would fall all the way down to the ground below.

Funny story about that game...back in 1990 there was a popular T-shirt that showed a stick figure cartoon. On the front it read "See Dick drink, see Dick drive, see Dick die" and on the back it read "Don't be a Dick".

Some Gators did a riff on that shirt with orange and blue stick figures. "See Dick throw the ball, see Dick catch the ball, see Dick score many, many touchdowns" on the back it said "FSU Seminoles have no Dicks." Of course the stick figure cartoons were the best part with the stick figure 'Nole covering his crotch while the stick figure Gator guy and girl pointed and laughed.

So that's what I wore to the game. And unlike Durty, I didn't have a crew of meatheads to back me up. In fact, I never caught up with my friend who lived in Tallahassee that I was supposed to go to the game with and then crash at his place.

(uh, yeah, this was before everybody had a cell phone)

Game was about to start. I saw some lights on in one of the dorms. Walked in, buncha kids hanging out. I asked them if I could leave my stuff in their room till after the game (still thinking I was going to catch up with my buddy). They said sure so I did and went to the game alone.

After we lost the game, I was headed back to those dorms when (not surprisingly) some drunk 'Noles started with me about the shirt. I can't really blame them. Wearing that shirt was just asking for trouble. Not the classiest thing I ever did (not the least classy thing either, but those roadtrip stories are for another day).

Drunk 'Nole redneck yells at me something about FSU having more Dicks. Being a smartass teenager, I promptly agreed with him "Yeah, you guys definitely had more Dicks on the field and more Dicks in the stands too." He didn't appreciate that I was agreeing with him. Maybe the way I spat out the word "Dicks"? Anyway. Just as it was about to get ugly, a couple of young FSU coeds rush up. One puts here arm around my shoulder and directs me away from the angry drunks while her friend tells them to cool it (I honestly believe there was a guardian angel looking out for me because I have miraculously avoided many well deserved ass beatings by what can only be described as divine intervention).

We go back to the dorm. Never caught up with my buddy so I have no place to spend the night, not even a car (I bummed a ride up with some other kids). The students let me stay in the dorm. I messed around with one of the girls which softened the loss and they made me french toast for breakfast the next morning.

I wish I still had that shirt. Not to wear, just as a memento.

Alex.

Great story, Alex. I remembered those tee-shirts. Also, way to get to 3rd base.

 

[NavetG8r]

No, commend the man. He stopped before he caught something permanent.

Good point.

 

[PatDooleySucks]

I wish I had closed the deal but I don't want to lie. We were in a dorm room full of people. I only got to 3rd base.

Alex.

You can still close the deal bro. Just say "hey guys. do you wanna get weird?"

 

[Gator87]

Never went to the cesspool that is Joke Shambles, but I do remember the 1982 game, my first year at UF. Bob Hewko came off the bench to rally the boys from a 10-0 deficit to win 13-10. Gator fans stormed the field and tore down FSU's goalposts. Watched the game in the dorm room with roommate and other guys on the floor on a small TV with rabbit ears, great technology back then. May have even been a black and white TV.

 

[Alagator]

I have never set foot in Tallycrappy and I never will.

I stop there on occasion on my way through to somewhere else. It's always a great place to stop and take a p1ss. That's about all I think about the place...