Pepsi, without a doubt. He's not openly embraced and celebrated like a champ, he is more like an off brand option you aren't quite sure about but you'll try it anyway and hope for the best.
And, while you are at that tailgating party...
Our WR are like the hot wings, where Callaway is a little greasy and keeps dropping on the floor where you don't necessarily want to pick him up again but you're kinda hungry for a passing threat so you consider it. The rest of them could provide that spicy zing that makes you say 'hot damn' or prove to be undercooked or oversauced and leave you with that sick feeling in your stomach like you may throw up or **** your pants...you just don't know yet.
Offensive line is the hot dog buns, pretty plain and boring where you don't expect much and are utterly disgusted when they throw everything off. Likewise, the RBs are the hot dogs trying to slip through those folds in the bread. Scarlett was the best looking one, but he just slipped through the swath of ketchup and mustard, out the bun, and onto the floor next to Callaway. The others, well, you think Perine will do the job, but the others might not be cooked enough yet.
The defense is potato salad. You aren't sure if it will be as good as last year, but you're counting on it anyway to put out any flame up from the offense and leaving you with a cool, satisfied feeling. You don't ever expect it to be thrilling, but you should be able to count on it regularly.
Special teams is the alcohol. Bring Pineiro out enough times and you lose your mind - it could be high fiving the sign post for another FG, or stumbling into the bushes to puke because of too many attempts.
The other QBs are pickles. You need to have some on hand, but always have too many. A lot of people will look at them, then pass and move on to something else. Once in awhile, somebody tries one out and it could really make the meal...or really make you sick.
Welcome, to the 2017 UF Football Buffet. Say a prayer before you try it. Expect the worst, hope for the best, enjoy the company.
