I start with wagyu beef. Only the best. Usually the chuck cut. I slice the beef into thin strips, salt them generously with Mediterranean sea salt, then place those uncovered in my refrigerator on a rack for 48 hours. Then I remove them and soak them in a 50-50 mix of a saison beer (imported from Belgium, none of that American crap) and silver tequila (100% agave) for another 48 hours. Then back onto a rack, salt again, and in the fridge for another 48 hours. After that I hand-chop the meat to a nice mince using a 1800 layer damascus steel 9 inch chef's knife on a 4' square gopher wood butcher block (well seasoned with bear grease).
Once the meat is chopped, you can start making the chili.
Begin by soaking half a pound of organic kidney beans from Artisan Brothers kidney bean estates in Sonoma, CA (don't miss it next time you visit wine country) in 2.2 gallons of sparkling water and .8 gallons of Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper overnight. Also soak half a pound of dark-roasted coffee beans (Sumatran, of course) in one pint of the best bourbon you can afford. This is not the place to cheap out.
Add a quarter pound of clarified duck fat (homemade is best) and a quarter cup of chia seed oil to your large stock pot. Sautee two chopped onions and 3 pounds of shrimp shells until the shells turn bright red. Remove the shells while leaving the onion bits behind (I have found a tweezer works best). Drain the kidney beans and the coffee beans and add them to the sautéed onions. Add 4 whole fresh tomatoes (or 6-8 foil packs of Hunts ketchup if you can't find fresh tomatoes in your store) and 4 whole green bell peppers to the pot, then add the minced meat and one large duck egg (with the shell on). At this point, you can add 20-40 grams of pure Colombian flake cocaine, depending on your taste.
Finally, the heat.
Carefully sprinkle about a half teaspoon of finely ground black pepper (pre-ground) over the top, less if you're sensitive to spice.
Cover the pot tightly and bury it in the backyard; 2 weeks for a milder flavor, 3 weeks if you like it tangy.
Serve it over fresh cut cantaloupe with hard boiled quail's eggs on the side.
Alex.
