- Jun 9, 2014
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- 111,143
Founding Member
this has been making it around the internet. might as well adapted to our members
From an anonymous UPS delivery driver…
5 types of customers since the “rona”:
1) Deet: He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking VODKA since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Deet demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo. Deet will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.
2) Slev: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape. Slev will not survive. Deet will probably eat him.
3) Sassy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her cats and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper. She will last longer than Slev, but not Deet.
4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonald’s, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello Kitchen” to her. Karen will not survive longer than Slev.
5) Queenie: Is sitting in the swing watching her cats in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days. Queenie will survive and marry Deet. Together they will repopulate the earth.
Got any others to add to this?
We have several in each class, no doubt. Help me identify the new groups, or people in these other classes.
Perhaps we need a who will survive the Apocalypse playoff.
From an anonymous UPS delivery driver…
5 types of customers since the “rona”:
1) Deet: He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking VODKA since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Deet demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo. Deet will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.
2) Slev: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape. Slev will not survive. Deet will probably eat him.
3) Sassy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her cats and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper. She will last longer than Slev, but not Deet.
4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonald’s, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello Kitchen” to her. Karen will not survive longer than Slev.
5) Queenie: Is sitting in the swing watching her cats in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days. Queenie will survive and marry Deet. Together they will repopulate the earth.
Got any others to add to this?
We have several in each class, no doubt. Help me identify the new groups, or people in these other classes.
Perhaps we need a who will survive the Apocalypse playoff.
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